A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

30 April 2012

Day 30: The Devil

This is the last day of our adventure into photography with Ziva and her friends.  I have had a lot of fun playing (altho I took it seriously) and I had a lot of respect for what each person managed to muddle thru each and every day.  Now, before I get mushy...please look at my fellow non-contestants...and don't forget to thank Ziva for coming up with this idea...

Day 30 --  The Devil:

Allow me to quote a couple lines from one of my favourite films:

Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as Mariann's dolls, with empty eyes and a big hollow head.

Okay, I took a little liberty with that last line up there from "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" But I only did it to prove a point.

Look for yourself if you don't believe me:

Notice the white area around the one doll on the left with the wonky eye.  I took about three sets of six or seven photos each (damn camera battery)...and that was the only photo which showed that little whispy emanation...all the others were clear as a bell.  Yes, be afraid...be very afraid.

A little back story. Long ago when I was growing up, my mother had this little hard plastic doll which never had any clothes on. She would keep it in her bureau which had nine drawers...three rows of three. When I would go into her bedroom, usually only when I was mad in order to "un-pom-pom" one of the hundreds of tiny white pom-poms on her bedspread (always in an inconspicuous space - I thought), I would sneak a peek inside that middle top drawer...and "it" was always in there staring back at me. It creeped the hell out of me. This same scenario went on for more years than I remember. Then one day I was rummaging in the kitchen drawers and there "it" was!

Well, that sealed the deal there...I was never the same again. Years later, when I asked my mother about the doll, she believed it was from some U.S. effort to help support the Korean War. The doll did have short straight black hair...I don't think it was like real hair...it was like a plastic cap...the same material as the rest of the body.

I always thought there was a soul associated with that doll. It always gave me the same image in my little girl head as I was growing up. Someone died...someone's soul was trapped inside - and now it was "living" in a drawer in my house - apparently making the rounds from room to room.  I have no clue what happened to that doll - but, to this day, from time to time I think of "her" and wonder where "she" ended up.

Now, I was a Barbie girl - I loved Barbie and I still do. But larger dolls...no way.

Just like the little shiny hard plastic Korean doll...the larger Victorian era dolls...scare me. They always have. I'm certain they always will.

My mother bought me those two dolls (above) from an antique store years ago. I could not touch them. Moving them tonite to take their photos...was, to anyone not aware of my "issue", an act of comedy I'm sure. The kids don't like them, either...but that didn't stop my son from turning the lights out when I was taking their photos and asking me why I put them in the hallway behind me. I also would not be left alone when I took the photographs...and when I was done, my daughter asked me to remove them from her room as quickly as possible.

My son speculated that I've never gotten rid of them because they are "going to know" and "revenge me somehow for getting rid of them" - and you know what? He's absolutely right. I can't do it. They will "get mad". You don't want to get dolls mad which are home to little demons. As long as the little demons stay inside the dolls...it's okay I guess. But you are never to get the devil dolls mad...that's when they will show their true faces: red and scaly...and with a bifurcated tail.

(Lastly, I had such a blast doing this for the past 30 days...and I want to thank each and every one of you...especially Ziva and Mike...for inviting me to participate.  Thank you all...so much.)


  1. This perhaps was the scariest of all the photos I've seen today. Thanks a lot, lady. I'm going to have nightmares for days. *Shuddering*

    Like you, I also enjoyed this meme, especially getting to know all of my fellow participants. It was great seeing all the different interpretations of the day's theme.

  2. Thanks for the nightmares that I'm now going to have about my daughter's naked babies. Very cool post and photograph. I've enjoyed you and your Ambien creations.

    Of course, you win!! Just don't tell Malisa.

  3. Thank you. My mortal fear of dolls with their creepy eyes was buried, until now. My grandfather was an antique dealer and I saw my share of these "things" as a kid.

    (Great interpretation though)

  4. HOLY HELL. Mariann I am absolutely traumatized by this photo AND your story! GREAT FUCKING JOB@!!!!!!!!!!

  5. This is actually the closest to my idea of The Devil or Hell that I know. I've been freaked out by these kind of dolls since I was a child, and even now I like to hide my daughter's freak-dolls away when she isn't looking.

  6. My mom collects these things and also repairs them. My sister-in-law has tons of them sitting on chairs at little tables or lying in little beds. She also has paintings of them all over her house (instead of photos of her grandkids). Let me tell ya, I hear ya sister. These things are possessed. Those who love them? Whackadoodles.

    1. I totally agree. I could never ever get into collecting these types of dolls. Like I said before, Barbies are okay - these, nope.

  7. I look at that pic and I can't shake the phrase Red Rum, Red Rum, running around my brian. It's a line from The Shining by Stephen King and it's, of course "murder" backwards. Okay, you scared me.

    1. I have never seen The Shining. I watch BBC America all the time - and they always show it. I have no clue why. But I'm not going to watch it.

  8. I never did like these types of dolls when I was a kid or even now, for that matter - the eyes / eyelids creep me out. Much like clowns creep me out with their fake smiles.


  9. Okay, them's some creepy-assed dolls. I think you're very brave to have even been in the same room as them, let alone take their pictures!

    1. My son kept turning the light out when I was taking the photos. It wasn't funny.

      Then he kept telling me he was going to put them in my bed, or in my bathroom, or even in the refrigerator, so I would be all groggy in my Ambien haze and freak out when I saw them.

      That's nice, isn't it?

  10. Oh my god, I HATE dolls like that! I used to have one sitting on a shelf in my room when I was little, and it scared the crap out of me. Definitely the Devil!

    Despite giving me nightmares with this photo, I'm so happy that you decided to join 30 Days, Mariann, it's been great to see your photos and read your posts every day. :)

  11. Thank you, Ziva. I was very honoured to be part of it. :)

    Did I win???

  12. You have managed to make me wet my pants with fear. Fear, and those creepy haunted dolls.

    I'm really glad you decided to join us, Mariann, especially since you had trouble with your camera battery, and Ambien, and your kids, who deserve a sound thrashing for being smart-mouthed. You added a lot of life to every day, and we needed it.

  13. Wonderful photo accompanied by a damn, scary story! It has been so fun getting to know you. Let's stay in touch! I will be a faithful follower of your blogs. Rest up! Never know when they will give us another challenge!

  14. OH MY GAWD. You have totally and absolutely CREEPED ME OUT. BEST-STORY-EVER!!! CRACKED ME UP!

  15. Glad I could give you the creeps. I thought sticking them on a Victorian chair would give them even more "creep factor".

    I took half the photos before realizing there was a paper bag right in the way. I would have panned back but there were boxes and stuff piled up in front of the chair. The things I did for this contest, I tell ya. I honestly did not want to be with these dolls any longer than I had to.

  16. Ha ha . Hi I'm Chucky , wanna play ? :-) Kenny.