A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

24 April 2012

Day 24: Crowd

The theme today didn't go as I planned.  For some reason my camera refused to work at my daughter's "National Honor Society Induction Ceremony: last nite...and all the photos came out as little X's.  Nice keepsakes, nonetheless, I am sure.  So, I had to improvise this morning...but first...

...go look at my fellow non-contestants...and don't forget to thank Ziva for coming up with this idea...




Day 24:  Crowd



It's that time of year again - when we drain the pool because we are too lazy to keep it clean during the off season. It's also cheaper to just drain it and put new water in it - and more sanitary, because this is what gets into your pool at the end of the season if you let it accumulate and rot.


There are also about fifty frogs crowded in there which all jump into the murky depths once they see anything approaching. There's probably also about a zillion frog eggs in there by now, too...and those water boatmen...you can bet there's a whole crowd of those things in there just waiting to shear off your skin if you are stupid enough to pick one up and put it in your hand because it "swims cute".


The leaves and pinestraw go without saying...you can definitely see there's enough crowded in there to make a fine smelly paste of waste debris. Ahhh...take a deep breath...nothing smells like Spring like the bottom of a vase of flowers left too long in the water; magnify that intense pervasive "perfume" and you might get a partial idea of what must be decomposting their little body parts away, en masse, to ensure a place in that last foot of precious water. And right about tomorrow...the mosquito larvae will decide to take up residence (if they haven't already)...and speaking of crowds...there'll be millions of their little wiggly selves pushing thru the waterworld to enter the airy world...and nothing can dispel a human crowd so quickly as a whole swarm of hungry mosquitoes in search of that first blood feed.


Yep...just to look at that photo and think there's nothing in there...is pretty ludicrous. By square inch, it has more useable real estate than any one of Donald Trump's properties...and many, many, many more squatters.





21 comments:

  1. Um, have you heard of a cover or a net. Yeah, then you skim all the crap off it so it doesn't fall into your pool. Great labour saving device. But, hey, to each his own. Nice, um, pic.

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    1. It has been our dealings with the cover - that animals such as possums, rats, voles, and mice tend to crawl under it and we only find them (in various stages of decomposition) when the cover comes off. Then we only drain the pool anyway - because I'm not going to swim in something where something was half-rotting away all winter. Blech. Plus I'm always worried the cats will get under it and end up like the other "unfortunates".

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  2. Ewwwww. And aha! You made a silk purse out the sow's ear you were handed. Well done.

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    1. Thank you - I think. It's still a very slimey silk purse. :)

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  3. Okay, I have to say, no matter how disgusting that mess looks, this was a very clever post. Good thinking, Mariann!

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    1. I was hoping there would be a few frogs sitting on the side, but nope...as soon as they heard me - they jumped back in. They are cute - there's a couple big bullfrog types, too.

      Every year we try to be so valliant...and save the eggs in the lizard cages he has - but there are way too many many tadpoles to do it properly. The only way to do to it properly is to drop them off at someone's lake....which we've done that a few times. I always feel so bad - I mean, they don't deserve to die. Frogs are good - they eat mosquitos and stuff.

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  4. I'm with Cheryl...ewwwwww. That was my initial thought, but nice post to explain the ewwwwww. :)

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  5. Interesting take on crowd with all of the varmints. Just what is a water boatman?

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    1. I left a link a little lower down. :)

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    2. bugs with singing penises? Now that's a pool party!

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    3. Hey...I didn't know that before I looked it up this morning. You can bet I'm going to be stomping those disgusting porno-bugs before I get into my pool this summer! ;)

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  6. "there's a whole crowd of those things in there just waiting to shear off your skin if you are stupid enough to pick one up and put it in your hand because it "swims cute".

    That made me laugh, out loud, for real.

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    1. They are cute - but they will slice your skin - and it's painful - it's like a paper cut...but still.

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  7. That's disgusting, but I'm very excited that you have frogs. I haven't seen a frog in a very long time, and it worries me and makes me sad. Frogs are awesome. Although I wouldn't want to swim with thousands of them.

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  8. Yuck! I never thought of so many things living in such a place. I suppose I should be all "miracle of life", but, no... Yuck!

    Sorry to hear your camera conked during such a big event.

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    1. Yeah - that was pretty lame of it do to that. I had at least three good photos, too. :(

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  9. I have to say, a zillion is as good a definition of 'crowd' as I've ever heard.

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  10. Naughty water boatmen!: http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/13958630

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  11. Ha! I'll bet you that my pool beats your pool any day - and we don't have an "off season" (I know, it's pathetic, really). Thanks for the tip on the boatman bugs - we have those, too but never knew about their cutting capabilities. Egad!

    I'd say, "oh, lovely photo", but it's not (in the way of, well, the 'subject matter' - but it is in focus). ;-)

    Your post, on the other hand, cracked me up (and well written, as usual).

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    1. ROFL - Yep - it's in focus. That's like saying "Nice wallet" when someone shows you their grandkid's photo. ;)

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  12. I've always wanted a pool. Now, not so much. Nice way to make lemons out of boatman bugs. :-)

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