A Bit About Me

My photo
Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

10 December 2016

A Messy House Could Save Your Life

A new German study conducted by the Schlaswursen Clinic in Wiesbaden, Germany, has found out that housework can actually be hazardous to your health.

"We've always been told that a clean and tidy house is the ideal standard." Dr. Karl Gottschald stated before a symposium of colleagues in Lucerne, Switzerland this past Friday. "We have found a marked correlation between hospital visits and housekeeping.", Gottschald continued.

The study states something which isn't entirely new, but the mechanism behind the facts has exposed something which has not come to light until just recently, which is:  Most falls which occur in the house are done when trying to clean, typically in the bathtub and lifting/moving furniture when trying to vacuum beneath them.

In the past, it was assumed that these falls in the bath were done when bathing or showering, but that is not the case; they occur when trying to clean the tub and the shower.  "That's when most serious slips happen; it's very rare to find a patient seeking help while in the nude.  They are typically fully clothed when the paramedics arrive at the scene or when they enter hospital on their own for treatment." Dr. Janus Rothchilds, from Aerohospital Sud in Geneva, Switzerland said.  "Lifting injuries, as well as sometimes fatal cranial ones, tend to occur when people reach to get something down from a high place to dust around it.  They strain the wrong way or fall from ladders all the time.  If they just let the dust accumulate, these accidents would be totally avoided." Rothschild stated.

The study went on to find that most hazards in the house were slipping from cleaning tubs/shower enclosures and mopping floors, and falls from standing on ladders to clean on top of shelving.

"These things simply do not have to be done.  People can learn to live in houses with dust and germs. In fact other studies have proven a germ-free environment makes us prone to more infection. This is the science behind why antibacterial soap for the home has been discontinued from the market." Gottschald said.

"In fact, we're nearly done with our newest study which will conclusively prove that a house with more clutter causes less injuries than one which is free of debris." Dr. Lars Schmidt from Schlaswursen Clinic announced.  "People tend to be a bit more careful when they walk when they know they can hit their foot on something or trip and fall; those in cleaner houses walk faster and with less eye contact with the floor, which then leads to more broken toes.  Also, the plain reality is that a highly waxed kitchen or bathroom floor actually causes more hip injuries from slips and falls than all ice-related ones combined."

Schmidt ended the lecture by saying, "While we are not telling people they never have to clean again, we are telling them a little dirt never hurt anyone, in fact it might save just your life."

A similar study in 2005, conducted at Kingston University in London, extolled the virtues of the unmade bed.