A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

27 February 2014

Day 27: But how did you find out?

"But, how did you find out?"
"The Internet, duh.  It's where I find everything out."

It's the "go to" place where everybody finds out anything they want to know about anyone (even themselves).  It doesn't matter if it's true or not...and it's so easy anyone can do it.
And the things you can easily find out about someone, with a minimum of digging...is astonishing.  In fact, I'm absolutely sure that if Dr. Seuss were still alive, he'd have come up with a book called "Oh the Thinks You Can Think To Click On!"

For example -- You wouldn't believe who used to play my interactive comedy website -- HumorMeOnline -- many years ago.  I mean EVERYONE would know their name (maybe three people wouldn't - but I doubt so) if I mentioned it.  I promised never to tell...and I never have.  They were floored when I asked them if they were who they were...and they were!  And, it wasn't a joke - I mean, they were -- and I found out...just by a few random, carefully constructed clicks. And they'd play my silly online comedy website all the time.  What fun!  
Dammit, I should have asked for a job!  Seriously.  I'm sure they've long since changed their email address...and it's been years since I've updated anything at my site...so even if they wanted to, they couldn't play it.  Oh well.  And it's not like I can call them up at their work.  "Uh...okay...my name is Mariann and they used to play at my website...no, seriously, they used to play my contests all the time...just go ask them.  Really, I'm not a whackjob...go ask.  I'm serious. Hello?  Hello?"
Think that would work?  I doubt it.  So here goes...let's just hope they are clicking random things on the Internet and find this...

Hey, famous person who used to play my silly online interactive comedy website...please hire me for something, okay?  I know you have the money.  You can do it.  It'll be our little secret.  If you don't, I'll tell, dammit!  I'll tell everyone!  I swear I'll let the cat outta the bag.
Maybe I should leave off that last part.  Whaddya think?
Yes, this was a senseless sort of blog, but I thought I would give everyone a break from reading what's really inside my little, tiny noggin. You don't want to know what's deep inside of it...plus it's all full of cobwebs and faulty neurons and such.  In fact, that's where I first got the idea for the word "Interwebs" from.  Yes, I coined the term "Interwebs": Internet + Cobwebs = Interwebs.  

Okay, I might have made that last part up - but the other stuff...it's all true.  I swear. 
By the way, here's a nice random photo of a kitty on a keyboard for you...for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  None whatsoever.  None...no seriously, I swear.  It's not like it's some obscure weird hint.  It's not.  It's not at all.  I'm just being silly...I swear.  You can click all you want...you won't find anything out.  Well, you might, but you'd really, really have to know what to click on. Plus, it would take ages.

And, after you've given up on clicking (or more likely, you never started)...click on this:  We Work for Cheese
It's only one more day until we all take a swig from those big bottles of vodka Nicky has promised to send us all for living through this month-long write-along.  Oh...she didn't say she'd send YOU one?  I could have sworn she said she'd send me one.  Don't worry, Nicky...it'll be our little secret.  ;)
Oh...I'm just kidding about that vodka thing.  I swear!

I swear.





  1. If it was Pauly Shore, that doesn't count.

  2. Oh my. I AM curious but can accept that you won't tell!

    ONE MORE DAY and I'm hitting the bottle!

  3. There really are no secrets anymore. I doubt there were that many before, but if one knows how to look, one can find out just about everything. Of course, being a bit paranoid means that one might feel that other people are looking for them and information about them all the time and that might not be the case. Hmm. Now tell me, was it Carrot Top?

  4. Not Carrot Top and not Pauly Shore - last and only hint...not someone you'd figure would be sending in comedy contests thingies.

    But I promised I'd never tell.

    Nah, no ADD - I do go off on tangents but they always come back around. ;)



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