A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

23 February 2014

Day 23: There are things

I was watching the Olympics the other day and Women's Speed Skating came on.  The one woman they were talking about having a great chance at winning (I think she was from the Netherlands) was wearing one of those things that can only be described as a sports-minded body glove that hugs you tighter than gold lycra Disco pants ever did.  Of course they all were wearing them...but she was...to put it nicely -- "less endowed" than the others.  To be more accurate (from where I could tell from my vantage point on the sofa), she was nearly concave in her chest...where, normally, breasts would be.

The video clip of Russian, Olga Graf, unzipping her suit after her bronze medal win -- well, she was busty in comparison.

There are things you notice and there are things you don't...and I don't know if anyone else noticed...but many of these women appear to be very flat chested.  I mentioned this to my Facebook friend with whom I was private messaging at the time.  I also brought up (no pun intended) the fact that Tom Daley, from the UK men's diving team, probably had the opposite effect in the Summer Olympics.  Seriously, you want to enter the water with as little splash as humanly possible...but since you can only hide just so much inside a Speedo...and...um...built like he is...well, I'm figuring it make a splash all its own. 

He didn't want to hear that part, so I went back to talking about boobs.

I got to wondering if only the ones naturally built this way end up making it to this level (which might happen), if it's because the suit squishes you in so tightly that you appear to have no boobs...or if some actually go under the knife and get breast reduction surgery so they can be more aerodynamic.

I Google'd up a photo, as by then they had switched over to Women's Downhill Skiing...and noticed one skier after the other...were all flattish.  Don't believe me...look at this photo:

(Women's slalom medalists, from left, Austria's Marlies Schild (silver), United States' Mikaela Shiffrin (gold), and Kathrin Zettel (bronze) at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics, Friday, Feb. 21, 2014)

Now it only goes to make logical sense that the bigger the boobs the more they get in the way of sports...so again, I Google'd and found an ABC news clip about breast reduction surgery in women's sports...which, if you're interested, is here:  ABC News Story: Female Athletes Get Breast Reduction to Improve Performance

While I don't know, of course, if these women had surgery...and, I'm not implying any of them really did...but if you can slice a full second off your skiing, skating, running, swimming, etc., time, which, in today's competitive field, sometimes means the difference between tenth place and first...what's to stop them from -- slicing a little more off?

And, I really have to wonder what type of message that sends out to girls taking up a sport in which boobs are really frowned upon.  Do these girls (like in the ABC video above) think they are going to be a much better athlete if they get them reduced from the get-go?  How much more value do we place on winning vs being okay in our own bodies?

Young girls already face a lot of self-image issues when they are growing up...do these coaches and other sports people who surround "potential future champions" encourage them to get such things done?  I'm actually very interested now...and will probably do a bit more research.

Sadly, I think I'm probably right in thinking what I'm thinking here...and there are things people shouldn't rush into doing. Some things, such as life-long, body altering decisions -- they should just slow down and take a lot more time thinking about it before they start.

All these female Olympians are extremely hard-working, phenomenal athletes who have the utmost of my respect.  I do not imply any of the ones I've mentioned/shown here or who are participating at the Sochi Olympics have had breast reduction surgery.  To do so would be idiotic of me...and I don't like being an idiot more than I have to.

My intention in choosing to write this blog was only to point out to people that it does indeed apparently happen, and in my opinion, it should be thoroughly and carefully thought out. Surgery hurts...and sometimes (as far as I can tell, from my own experience) the pain remains for years -- and possibly for life. Not all surgery is a piece of cake and without risk...don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise. 

Now go on over to "We Work for Cheese" and see what everyone else came up with for today's writing prompt which is: "There are things".


  1. I vote for boobs. In fact I think the Olympics should have a boob event, Might increase viewership.

  2. Bravo, Mariann! It's a subject that should be written about. I noticed the same thing with the ice skaters. I have a friend who danced ballet when younger, but couldn't advance because her boobs were too big. As for the guy in the speedo... Once again, a double standard.

  3. Thank you, Jayne, I think this is a subject they never talk about - I think they should.

  4. This is a very interesting point you make here, Mariann. Great post. :)

  5. You are so right. There are so many women who, for whatever reason, want more or less than the good Lord gave them. And, despite the reasoning, it is something that should never be taken lightly. Like Jayne said, it's a common sight in ice skating and dance, and also in gymnastics. I can see where it could be a balance/speed issue but still...surgery?

  6. Frank Lee MeiDere23 February, 2014 14:02

    Sports predisposes toward unhealthy living. There is a whole field of medical science called Sports Medicine dedicated to trying to offset the bodily damage done by sports. It's a choice people make to pursue a career in sports, and there are sacrifices they must be willing to make if they want to succeed. Success of any kind is a faint chance at best, and generally only lasts for a decade at best anyway. Every advantage increases these slight odds. If you're of the mindset to believe that your life is best lived by excelling at a physical activity in which a particular part of your body could be a disadvantage, it's better to have surgery on that body part at the hands of a skilled surgeon than risk random strain or injury of it while pursuing your goal.

  7. Well said, Mariann, and I agree. Surgery is serious business and elective changes should only be made after serious consideration.

    I think those skier's outfits can make a woman look a lot smaller than she is.

    As for that Speedo? Oh my.

  8. Many female athletes are smaller breasted I think because they have such low body fat. (Breast tissue is made up of fat cells, right?) Oh heck, what do I know? I'm no athlete!

  9. We live in a culture where in many areas, like where i live, fake boobs are the norm. I think the athletes are more normal and we've just gotten used to seeing the fake ones everywhere.

  10. Wait.. is he hanging to the right? Or is it turned funny?

    As far as breast reduction surgery... I can't imagine doing that for sports. My mom only has one breast due to breast cancer... it just seems sacrilegious to take a breast off for a sport.

  11. I'm surprised I wasn't more athletic as a kid because I was very flat chested! (Not so much anymore... I seem to have a lot of extra parts poking out these days. *sigh*)