Day 19: Tastes like chicken

(I put a note on the box so my son wouldn't eat one.  Oh, joy of joys, I ate one a couple days ago...yes...the exact kind of "Hot Pockets" that was recalled.  So far the batch numbers on the box don't match...but I'm keeping it because they'll find out in a couple days that more were involved.  They always, always do.)

I was going to do a long-winded blog about how incomprehensible it was (at least to me) that nearly nine million pounds of beef sent out to various companies for inclusion into their products was recalled the other day, most notably, so far, to the "Hot Pockets" people...but I won't.  I still don't understand how you can be butchering up diseased and inedible portions of cows for ONE FRIGGEN YEAR and no one finds out about it until now.  Yes, one year.  One entire year.

 

Anyway, considering one of the main culprits for food-borne pathogens, which end up killing you, or sickening you, are cantaloupes, bean sprouts, spinach, and tomatoes...it seems I'll be damned either way -- being a meat eater or a vegetarian.  (That is totally true, by the way -- I didn't do one of those "writer's embellishment" thingies just for blog purposes.)

 

So, fuck it.  And, I can't eat apples, either, as apples want to kill me.  Long story - it involves swallowing a piece of one, calling up the on-call USAF base doctor, who basically hung up on me after jerkily saying "You are talking...you don't have a piece of apple lodged in your throat...anyway, you shouldn't be eating apples at 3:00 a.m."  Turned out I went to the emergency room anyway...after about six hours of impatiently waiting, i.e. being too afraid to sleep with an undigested niblet of food in my gullet. It finally dissolved itself -- about the same time I had the barium contrast swallow test; I swear it was there. And, yes, people do get bits of meat and food lodged in their esophagus and still manage to talk.  Sometimes they have to take the really long tongs and yank the food out.  It happens a lot...or so the ER people told me.  I'm thinking it probably does.

 

But, back to my original thought -- considering that a half-billion, yes, that's half a billion, eggs were recalled in 2010...eventually, everything you eat will find a way to kill you...given enough time.  It's like we're all playing Russian Roulette with the foods we eat and the USDA keeps reloading the gun.

 

So, if it tastes like chicken, beware, it just might have been one of those egg layers...they have to do something with the chickens eventually, right?  I'd suggest you go eat a nice healthy salad instead...but that'll kill you just as dead.

 

 

The prompt today at "We Work for Cheese" was "Tastes like chicken".  Please go and visit all the other participants, who probably aren't as overly worried and overly zealous as myself about the food they shove into their mouths.