A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

25 February 2013

It's Always About Me

(It's me.  I picked it out myself.  My son wouldn't help me...so I picked one you see less of me as I thought "less was more".  Yes, it's in the bathroom...would you expect anything less from any photo anyone posts of themselves on the Internet?)

Because my list of personal stuff went off so splendiferously the other day (yeah, I'm being sarcastic)...almost as well as the one I did yesterday about my conspiracy dealing with the profiteering of drug companies...I am going to do something completely different.  I made a challenge...for those willing to try it.

Oh, wait - it's all about me again.  Oh, well.  But it is different.

I am going to state 12 statements below. Six will be facts and six will be fiction. They are going to be about me. Not that any of you really know me...just thought it might be fun for some of you who think you have a keen sense or sixth sense about strangers (you know...those of you who swear you can spot a liar from a mile away) to give it a try.

At the end of the day, say midnite-ish my time (I'm on US Central Time) - I will reveal the answers.

To make it easier, you can answer as many as you like...and you just have to pick out the six facts...by number. You don't have to go thru the whole list. Just put the numbers...for example: 1, 3, 8, 9, 10. Oh, I think you can handle it from here.


1. Jon Bon Jovi once asked me out.

2. I have a recurring dream where I'm trying desperately to rescue a box of puppies from out of a burning airplane.

3. My favourite song is "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles.

4. When interviewed by CNN Live, I told them my favourite author was Ray Bradbury.

5. My mother once lived in the same building as Audrey Hepburn.

6. I've never seen an episode of "The Simpsons".

7. Back when I was in around eighth grade, my friend and I invented our own language we named "Makoonish".

8. I was once carried around through a mall by a guy who played rugby I had just met the day before; we also donned pretty good fake English accents and had everyone laughing and thinking it was extremely awesome.

9. My favourite vodka is Ketel One.

10. When I was young, my friend and I were fishing at the lake at the end of our road and a baby alligator appeared out of nowhere and started chasing after us.

11. Once, when I was much younger (and hot), I played "Strip Poker" with my girlfriend and the four pilots she was renting a beach house with...and I ended up losing. Completely losing, if you know what I mean.

12. I don't have a middle name.

So there you have it - pick which ones are true...and I'll let you know later and we'll see who was closest.  Actual friends of mine who know some of this stuff should refrain from playing...hell, they refrain from reading it...so they probably will.

Please go over to "We Work for Cheese" to see all the participants who used today's prompt of "Fact or Fiction" in their much better blogs.


  1. 1,3,4,6,8 & 11 are true. How do I know? I'm just hoping 11 is true and that there are pictures.

  2. Yeah, we don't care about any of the other numbered items, except for no. 11. Must elaborate.

    If you did take a bathroom portrait, the requirements are that you show a full length shot with the entirety of the bathroom in the background complete with dirty towels on the floor and children/pets photobombing the image. Just sayin'

  3. 2, 5, 8, 10, 11 and 12 are true. Now, tell me more about 11. Pretty please?

  4. I'm waiting for the truth on #1. True 3,5,6,7,8,9 Just guessing!

  5. 1,2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11 and 12 are true. I actually have the video of 11.

  6. 1,2,4,6,8,11 are my guesses for true.

  7. Well dammit, I want them ALL to be true! But then, I am an optimist. For the record, I adore THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD. Macca's finest, perhaps? Indigo

  8. 2, 3, 5, 6, 11, 12

    Tempted to go with the Bon Jovi one, just 'cause I know you're from Jersey . . .

  9. I just noticed that I put five made up ones and seven facts. Wow...being whacked out on Ambien is not good for counting.

    I am indeed a bonehead.

  10. I'm going with all the odd numbers - 1,3,5,7,9 and 11. Especially 11.

  11. Wait, Mike has VIDEO?!?!?!?

    If 5. My mother once lived in the same building as Audrey Hepburn. is true.... YOU BETTER BLOG ABOUT IT!!


  12. Oh yeah, 11 is true. As is 6, 3, and 12.

  13. Okay...here goes (and, like I said I had one more true one and one less fake one because when you take Ambien - you cannot count past five)...

    1. True. I was at a dive club in Jersey that he played in right before they released "Runaway" - and he asked me out. I turned him down as I was dating someone...and whenever he's on television, my son comes out - points, shakes his head, and walks away.

    2. I'm a cat person. I made that one up...box of puppies and all.

    3. While I'd like to appease Indigo and say it's true...my favourite song is "Solsbury Hill" from Peter Gabriel. I don't even think "The Long and Winding Road" is my fav Beatles song.

    4. When I was interviewed on CNN Live when I won the Bulwer-Lytton Contest in 2003 - transcript here (to prove it): http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0307/16/lol.14.html - I said Shel Silverstein. I do love Bradbury, tho.

    5. My mother did indeed (at least I don't think she was lying) live in the same building in Brussels (or Antwerp - one of those) that Audrey did...but way before Audrey was famous.

    6. I'd like to think one day I will be the only person on Earth to have never seen a Simpson's episode...so I can claim that distinction. Never have seen one - loved Futurama, tho.

    7. Yes, it's true. We made up a language...sad part is I still remember most of it.

    8. True about the mall thing. Actually one of the fondest memories I have...yet I can't recall the guy's name.

    9. If you read that CNN interview you'd have known by now that my favourite vodka is Grey Goose.

    10. Yes, the baby alligator story is true. We ran - it ran after us...I was envisioning mom and dad alligators...but I think someone just had one and it got too big and they turned it loose. A neighbour of ours caught it, kept it in a trashcan for a couple weeks and then it died. I should have left it live in the lake.

    11. This one is half-truths...much to everyone's disappointment I see. You would all have me sit around butt naked in front of five people, huh? Well, I did play Strip Poker - but I did not lose. I was down to undies, tho.

    12. I do not have a middle name. I was baptized in the hospital as they didn't think I'd make it...and apparently when they don't think you are going to make it, your parents (or at least mine) don't think a middle name will much matter.

    MikeWJ would have won had he not taken two extra guesses (Ambien, Mike?)...so the winner is laughingmom...who is scaring me now - as is MikeWJ. Maybe it's the way I phrased the truths vs the made-up stuff? Anyway...you guys were good...and thanks to everyone for indulging me with my silly list again. :)

    Sorry that the build-up was better than the actual facts...but that explains why writers embellish. ;)

  14. I was a big fan of #11. I'll just keep hoping hard enough, and maybe one day it will turn out to be true.

    Great idea for a post, Mariann. That was a fun list. It really kept me guessing. The answers were surprising, too.

  15. 1. F
    2. T
    3. T
    4. F
    5. T
    6. T
    7. T
    8. T
    9. F
    10. F
    11. T
    12. T

  16. The best part of coming late to comment on some of these is getting to see the answers. ;)

  17. I never read any of the blogs until I post mine...and I never read any of my comments until I comment (usuallY) - sometimes I do on the comments thing...but I don't want to be influenced on any previous blog that was up there earlier.

    It's fun to see we sometimes have the same ideas. :)

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