A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

06 August 2009

Cl...assy Reminders

You can spell "CLASS" a lot of ways - but..."Remind me of your name again in the morning" is not one of them. Let me elucidate...

My daughter and I were doing our usual TJ Maxx/Fresh Market jaunt today and we noticed a lady who was walking back to her car in the parking lot wearing a T-shirt which looked exactly like this:

She had a couple kids in tow, one of whom was a girl approximately 10-years old...give or take a year or two. Now, correct me if I'm wrong...or maybe I'm just overly prudish...but isn't wearing a shirt with a saying like that - in front of your pre-teen daughter - an open invitation?

In a couple years from now when the daughter has a boyfriend...if she doesn't have one already (yes, I'm rolling my eyes...I've met so many people recently with "'tweens" who have "actual" boyfriends or girlfriends...and the parents are bragging about it)...and the mother is wondering how the heck her "oh-so" innocent daughter got pregnant when she didn't know ANYTHING about sex -- well...there ya go.

Maybe she has a few more T-shirts at home in her bureau saying things like "Don't bother...I'm not drunk yet"..."Who needs brains, when you have these!"...and "You're a naughty boy...go to my room!" Keep in mind those are only the ones I can put on my blog here at the Montgomery Advertiser's site because of the "word censor". I've seen a LOT worse at those little kiosks in the mall...I've seen mothers AND their teenage daughters shopping together for naughty T-shirts right in Eastdale Mall. (Bear in mind this all is taking place in a town [in a state] which just banned a wine because the label depicted a painting of the side view of a nude nymph on a bicycle.)

Yep...nothing instills a real sense of mother/daughter bonding like matching "I'm a virgin (but then again, this is a very old shirt)" T-shirts.

And while this definitely proves the old adage, "You can't buy class" - I bet you can get the saying put on a T-shirt (especially with a few of the letters strategically worn off). ;)
(I also post this blog on the Montgomery Advertiser's online site...just in case you were wondering why I mentioned them and the "word censor".)


  1. I agree with you that it is totally inappropriate for her to be wearing a t-shirt w/that slogan.

    Once you are a mother, I think you should throw away all your dirty slogan t's (reason #675,860 I don't have children)

  2. I have no dirty slogan T-shirts. I have one that I picked up in Korea that says "Funkin Jamaica Roots" - which I always think people will do a double-take with. ;)

  3. I once bought a T-shirt saying: "Vodka: keeping you connected" and my mom looked at me with raised eyebrows. I'm sure if she sees these "open invitation tees" she would buy a Vodka-one herself ;)

  4. I've never been one for those "message" t-shirts. Although if I were, I think I'd just get right to the point with phrases like "YOU'RE AN IDIOT".

  5. Hi. Anon O. Mous here. You know what I'm going to say...I like boobies! (not that I would wear a t-shirt exclaiming so)

  6. Here's some randomness for you: I just visited a random blog [Maugeritaville] and commented about being from the East Coast and not understand the whole In-N-Out Burger thing. After my comment posted, I saw that you had commented on that post as well, mentioning you were originally from NJ. Since I'm from NJ, I decided to come visit your blog.

    I had to chuckle when reading about the slogan on this t-shirt and can match you: I was once an area manager for a clothing company. At one of the stores we had under construction, we were holding interviews for assistant managers. A woman, who must have been in her early 30s [and should have known better] came to her interview wearing a t-shirt that said, "What are you looking at Dickhead?" I'm not kidding.

    Anyway, hello from NJ!

  7. Sherri - Hi! I just checked my spambox - which I hardly ever do - and noticed you commented. I, unfortunately, unlike Chris (Maugeritaville)- don't get 20 umpteen thousand comments...and now I'm wondering how many times I got one and it got bumped to the spambox. Oh well.

    Anyway...that is definitely a keeper there about the woman and her T-shirt. Maybe she was just trying to get unemployment...I'd hate to think anyone was THAT stupid - altho I am sure I run into them every day.

  8. Please stop at my blog to claim your award :)

  9. Darn, yet ANOTHER comment notification in my spambox. I'm off to see what lovely things await me, Ladytruth. :)

  10. I would have to say that this is just as bad as mothers allowing their pre-adolescent daughters wear sweatpants which say things such as "Juicy" across their bum...it's no wonder there's an epidemic of pedophiles.