Day 15: My ears are ringing

"My ears are ringing" is the prompt for "Day 15" over at "We Work for Cheese" -- please click on the link and check out the other bloggers who are diligently trying to master a blog a day for the month of February.

 

For the life of me...I don't know why my temperature is always 97.something.  Sometimes it's even 96.something which causes me to think I'm probably dead...because only dead people have temperatures below 97.0.

 

But, that's not why I posted a picture of that thing.  It's a digital thermometer by ReliOn...and runs for about ten bucks.  The LED numbers, as you can see, are clearly shown and in a mere nine seconds...or until it beeps...you'll have your readout. 

 

Pretty nifty, huh?

 

Yeah...until you get old like me and the frequency range of things like stealth-like high frequency cell phones and mosquitoes start to go out.  And, apparently, the exact frequency that this thermometer emits.

 

It's very quiet...like 3 decibels at the most...and that's a good thing...because heaven knows you don't want to wake your kid up by the thing beeping as loudly as a garbage truck going backwards...when you shove this thing in their bottom.

 

The bad part is...no one my age can hear it.  Plus, let's pretend I could hear it...I can't hear it because I have tinnitus.  Tinnitus, for those who don't know, is an aggravating thing.  My ears are ringing.  Constantly.  It never stops.  Along with the high-pitched tea kettle sounds...are a lower frequency drone.  Sure, it's nice sometimes, as it drowns out the neighbourhood dogs barking at nite...but, it gets awfully annoying the rest of the time.

 

After a while you get used to it...but sometimes it changes pitch in my head and I pay attention to it again...and I have to constantly ask people to repeat themselves and I sometimes have to put the closed captioning thingy on the television.  I hate that because I end up watching the words and not the picture...plus they have to put it right smack on the screen...not low-like...and most times that channel logo will partially cover the words.  Plus the font is THE ugliest font in human history...and if two people are talking at once you'll get garbled nonsense with numbers in it.  I have to admit, I do find it fun when it says "EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING" or it tells me who is singing the song, like "ROLLING STONES' SINGING SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" - and I sit here and think...if I'm deaf...how the hell am I going to know what that song sounds like?

 

Anyway...it's time I get back to watching the Olympics -- altho I took a break from cross country skiing to watch Mae West in "She Done Him Wrong".  I'm just about to Google Cary Grant's teeth...because they must have been replaced early on in his career as they didn't look like this later on.

 

Ugh...I seriously need to get a life as I haven't yet gone to bed.  And, if that wasn't bad enough, the birds are now chirping outside...and in a range I can actually hear.



(Speaking of birds...for what it's worth, I blame my hearing loss/tinnitus on my attending a concert at JFK Stadium in Philadelphia where "A Flock of Seagulls" played.  There were a ton of bands...so don't mock me just yet.  But they came out and played a super loud noise for what seemed like ten minutes straight...whereupon everyone started holding their hands over their ears and yelling for them to stop.  I have actually Google'd this -- and some people online actually have implicated them as well...same concert.  I really think they screwed up a lot of peoples' hearing that day...and I will always believe that.)

Halloween's True Origin

The real reason we "dress up" for Halloween has nothing to do with druids or spirits or even commercialism. The real reason was started by Reginald Wickingham from Hounslow, London in England. 

Mr. Wickingham you see, was a purveyor of the spirital sort...which meant that he sold alcohol. He routinely consumed more than he sold, or so the legend of the town says. One day, upon hearing his door being pounded on...he rose up from the floor and staggered over to the door in nothing more than the first thing he could grab to put on. It was Mrs. Wickingham's dressing gown. The Vicar had come 'round to tell him that his wife had been taken ill and was at the local parish church being tended to by some members of the congregation...but that she was inconsolable and insisted the Vicar get her husband at once. Naturally, a couple others accompanied him in case Mr. Wickingham was overcome by grief upon hearing of his wife's grave condition. 

Mr. Wickingham, not wanting to seem drunk at noon on a Sunday...and realizing in his half-haze that he was now standing at the doorway in his wife's frilly thing...offered his "guests" some fruit and a couple of chocolates which were sitting on the table next to the door. He then stated his elaborate get-up was a "fun new fad" that was all the rage in the colonies...a yearly event where people got dressed up and handed fruits and candied bits of orange rind and the occasional chocolate to people who went from door to door...in a gleeful state brought upon by the occasional imbibing of a glass of mulled wine or a flagon of beer. 

Neither the Vicar nor the two people accompanying him wanted to look foolish...Mr. Wickingham was also a great wealthy man of some stature who travelled extensively around the globe...so they all nodded their heads in approval stating that they, too, had heard of the new fad...but were unaware that it was held on that certain day...thinking that it was going to be held the next day, which just so happened to be the 31st of October. 

They all had a laugh until it dawned on them that poor Mrs. Wickingham was lying prone on a pew in the church and needed to be attended to immediately. Mr. Wickingham, not wanting to be made a mockery of...donned an overcoat and top hat and threw it on top of the dressing gown...making it seem even more plausible to the Vicar and the members of the congregation upon their arrival back. 

As for Mrs. Wickingham, she had passed away...but it was all for the best as she really was disliked by everyone. And after the funeral, the next evening, they all got dressed up and celebrated...therefore cementing the ritualistic dress-up in the town, which, of course, over the years, ended up spreading far and wide. The fact that this day happened to occur on "All Hallow's Eve" was just a fortunate coincidence...and easy for everyone to remember it by. Well, everyone except poor Mrs. Wickingham, that is.

(This was another in my silly series of Halloween-themed "facts"...in other words, this was made up by me.)

Champagne Wishes and Caveat Dreams

Did I ever mention I love alcohol?

Seriously...I love this stuff. I'm tiny and as they would say back in Jersey "I'm a cheap date".

While this brings up connotations of things most untoward, I'm not even going there. I'm a little person and my alcohol tolerance, i.e., "buzz level", doesn't take much alcohol for it to kick in.

Let me be perfectly frank here...I'm not an alcoholic, a lush, or a drunkard. I don't need to be interventioned and I don't need the number to AA.

I am a responsible drinker.

That might sound like a lesson in contradiction, but I am.

I never drive after I drink and I've never have fallen face-down in front of my kids and I don't "worship the porcelain god".

I have what people back in the 1960s would refer to as "The Bewitched Syndrome". (Okay, maybe only I would refer to it as that as I'm the one who coined the phrase.)

Do you not have a clue?

Let me help you out.

Did you ever watch the television show, "Bewitched"?

Darrin always had a Martini waiting for him when he got home. Sure, Samantha and Endora might have been bar-hopping on Saturn (they liked to say "Saturn" a lot back then - I was too little to know if it was an in-joke...and I'm too old now to care) with Dr. Bombay, but by the time the "going home whistle" blew at the advertising firm of McMann & Tate - Samantha was back on Earth being the dutiful wife...and Darrin was on his way home to wet his own whistle.

Honestly, I don't think there was an episode which didn't extol the virtues of alcohol. It's a wonder anyone growing up the 60s didn't have a monkey of sorts on their back...and I'm not counting any shows where Endora actually put one ON Darrin's back. Oh, c'mon the plot was always the same: Darrin does something to piss off Endora - Endora, in turn, casts a spell on Darrin, Darrin learns a lesson, Larry and Louise come over and down copious amounts of alcohol...something "witchy" happens and Samantha always weaves her way out of it.

This was way before Christine O'Donnell came on the political scene. Plus Samantha always tried NOT to be a witch...which was always central to the plot line...and everyone knows when Samantha twitched her nose... there was nothing really political going on. Unless, of course, you count the warlock council and that coven of witches...who weren't so much coveting votes as they were just trying to have a little fun messing with mortals.

Enter again - alcohol.

Every single one of them drank like a fish. The only one I never saw drink was their nosy neighbour, Gladys. She was probably too busy taking psychotropic drugs I guess. She always saw things and no one ever believed her. She was the poster child for Xanax if there ever was one, poor lady. And then there was Mrs. Stephens (Darrin's mother), who always had a "sick headache" -- not to be confused with a "regular one", because long before WebMD was invented she was the most neurotic person on television until Howie Mandel came along.

But, I digress.

As W.C Fields (who drank a lot) always said, "All things being equal I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

And, as Jimmy Stewart said to Cary Grant in "The Philadelphia Story" (and did I mention I grew up in Jersey -- and Jersey was very close in proximity to Philadelphia)..."Champagne is a great leveleler... leveleler. It makes you my equal." If you've never seen the movie - do so...it's better than the sum total of Bewitched episodes...and has its share of other champagne moments that anyone inside and outside of Bryn Mawr can relate to.

And, boy oh boy, can I relate to alcohol -- and if I would have been around during Prohibition - I would have shed my inhibitions to imbibe the 'nectar of the gods'. Did I mention I was a "cheap date"?

Oh well.

God knows I need a drink just to follow what I just wrote.

So, Cheers! Which, by the way, was a much, much, much better show than anything on the air today. Plus, ironically, it centered around alcohol.

Did I happen to mention I love alcohol?

...and now for something completely different...

There was some "stuff" going on at the Montgomery Advertiser's blog site which got quite a few people misquoted and misinterpreted and such...so that's why I wrote this blog. Just ignore the first part and skip to the "question" part. I'd love to see what everyone out there answers to these two questions as well. :)

I thought it would be fun to head away from the "blogger" inspired blogs saying who did what and who didn't do what and who said something they didn't at all mean that way...to find out more about our fellow bloggers here on the paper.

Of course, no one has to read this or comment/participate...but I think it would be fun if we knew something about each of you other than the bios that are up there and the comments that you make.

So...I thought a couple questions might shed some insight about what makes each of us tick...and might make us realize we have something in common other than blogging.

What are some of your favourite movies and why? (Like which ones you could watch over and over and over again and not grow tired of doing so.)

...and...

What are some of the sites you look at routinely? (Dare I say it...just copy/paste the url of each one...and tell us why you like it.)


I'll go first. :)

Some Like It Hot: Hands down THE best comedy ever in my opinion. I can watch that thing 20 million times (and I probably have) and I STILL see or hear something I missed. It also never fails to make me laugh at all the places it's supposed to make you laugh. I absolutely love this film.

My Fair Lady: Okay, Audrey Hepburn's voice was dubbed by Marni Nixon...but no one could have been as "loverly" an Eliza than her. Love her...love Rex Harrison...love Colonel Pickering...love the entire score - and I DON'T LIKE MUSICALS! That's how much I LOVE this film.

The Shawshank Redemption: It took me about 10 years after this film was made to watch it. Why? I don't know why. If I had to write a film and be known by it - and only one film...it would have been this one. Great...superb writing.

V for Vendetta: See above...only it was about four years before I watched it. Plus the V character ended up doing what I refer to as a "reverse Charlie Chaplin". While wearing a mask and only using his voice - he conveyed more expression than I've ever seen. Chaplin did it the other way around...and was also a genius.

The Fifth Element: Best sci-fi movie ever. I love this film. I love Bruce...I love Gary Oldman...I love the ride. It's a fun movie. Not one boring part.

Idiocracy: Another movie that took me years to see even tho my friend kept telling me how great it was. But he liked that Garfield movie - so I never listened...until he told me it was by the same people who did Beavis and Butthead...then I watched it. It's FABULOUS. I don't think a day has gone by where I don't quote something from this movie. It's also so incredibly...um...prescient. Too much so.

Dinner at Eight: I love old films...if you've not seen this one or The Philadelphia Story or My Man Godfrey...rent them. They don't make them like this anymore...sigh.

Anything with Cary Grant in it.


Okay...URLs I go to:

My comedy website: http://www.HumorMeOnline.com - it's funny. Some of the best people in the world - yes world play my site. They are so incredibly witty - let's see YOU top them. :)

http://www.IMDb.com - The Internet Movie Database. I love this site - I am a trivia buff and movie trivia is something I have always gravitated towards. Hands down the best - I can get lost in there clicking and clicking and clicking.

http://www.Epicurious.com - The best cooking/recipe site out there. None even remotely come close...I don't know why others even try. And I love to cook - so this is the place for me.

I didn't want to post anything bloggy - but my friend, Chris...honestly is the best blogger in the universe. If I could write like him...well, judge for yourselves: http://www.knuckleheadhumor.com/

There are others out there - but those are the ones I pretty much go to on a daily basis.


How about everyone else?

Hats In Film

It's no secret that I like watching old films...I've liked them since I was a little girl, I will, in all probability, continue to like them until I die.

The dialogue was usually wittier back then even though they do throw in a 'Bourne' film once in a while to show everyone they can still WRITE dialogue. Films now seem to rely on unbelievable special effects to get their point across at the obvious abandonment of any type of plotline. Sometimes there is no plot...just a series of one fight/car chase/pyrotechnics/obligatory boob shot after another. Yes...we know you have a nice CGI team...your action sequences are great, but let's not sacrifice art for the sake of a sale. Let's stop relying on this high tech compensation for your obvious lack of script prowess. You, Hollywood, are suffering from projectile dysfunction.

Now, I'm not saying that every single movie falls into this category...but a good many of them seem to try to dazzle you with cinematographic brilliance and nothing more. I just watched "Ghost Rider" the other nite...did this film even HAVE a plot? Did "Mission Impossible 3"? What they did have was a whole bunch of CGI fluff disguised as plotline if you ask me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the 'Bourne' films...the first one more than the other two...but I loved them. What I loved about them was the fact that they weaved a plausible plotline into believable action sequences without the sacrifice whatsoever of dialogue. AND the dialogue wasn't so highbrow to make you feel like you were a complete moronic idiot...i.e., I could follow along without bringing a "Covert Subversive-English" dictionary with me to watch the movie.

Now, back to the original point I had (and I stress the word "had" as I've gotten off my original point entirely)...movies like "His Girl Friday" and "It Happened One Night" had brilliant dialogue...they also had something else movies lack today: Hats.

Hats, both men's and ladies' have gone the way of the dinosaur in a very short period of time. I have been wondering this for ages...just what happened in our history to totally wipe hats off the face of the Earth? I did some research on the matter and some blame John F. Kennedy because he didn't wear one, then other men followed suit (no pun intended)...and just like in "It Happened One Night" when men saw Clark Gable not wearing an undershirt...sales of these items plummeted. Jackie's pillbox hat, on the other hand, became an instant national necessity. So you could argue that while her husband's style evoked one mannerism, hers did quite the opposite...so I'm not too sure how that all works out in the end...and for the sake of this blogumn, I'm going to stick with movies and things of that ilk.

Watch any "I Love Lucy" episode and you will see a various cornicopia of hats if you will. There might not have been any money to get an apartment with more than three rooms, but, by golly, she must have had a closet in that place the size of Grand Central Station to house all those hats. A few episodes even centered on hats...or at least the buying, wearing, salivating over, and generally obsessing about them.

Hats in old films can also sometimes be incorporated into the script as a whole comedy piece. Take "The Awful Truth" with Cary Grant and Irene Dunn...well, you couldn't work a good 15 minutes of sight gags, dog tricks, and man-hiding-in-the-bedroom antics without them. Try that nowadays and it just wouldn't work. Drama sometimes also relies on clever "hat-in-hand" movie magic to engage their audience. Alfred Hitchcock's "Rope" begs the question...what DOES one do with a wayward monogrammed hat when you've already conveniently hid the body? I'll tell you what...you get found out by an astute hat-wielding James Stewart.

The hat, be it men's or women's...was a wardrobe accessory worn by both the rich and the poor...it was ubiquitous. You didn't have to wear a three piece suit in order to don one...Art Carney proved that in "The Honeymooners"...so it was clearly an established necessity in blue and white collar workers alike.

And just think of a whole portion of Hollywood without hats...just what would the massive movie musical have been without Fred Astaire crooning about "puttin' on his top hat", without Carmen Miranda's extravagant fruit-laden ones, without Minnie Pearl's price tag-adorned one, without Buster Keaton's porkpie one, and the derby so synonymous of Charles Chaplin?

But when exactly did people stop wearing hats in film, in real life and what, in my opinion, are the long-term ramifications? Well, I will attempt to enlighten you in my next hat blogumn next time.