A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

16 December 2007

My Birthday

Well, my birthday has come and gone. I opted to stay home and not go out to dinner because I still was in a lot of pain from my operation. My daughter bought and wrapped me some gifts she purchased at Williams-Sonoma...pretty much anything they sell there I'd like...plus I have been known to do the "oooh I like THIS and THIS and THIS" thing a lot whenever I'm shopping with her.

She also was the one who decided getting a candle down from the cupboard, putting it on my Cheesecake Olivia from Outback Steakhouse, and lighting it would be the festive and proper thing to do. I fear no traditional "Happy Birthday" song would have been sung had she not thought of this, and I feel sad about that.

I also feel sad that my son, who is 20, didn't get me a present nor a card. He is old enough to get me something. He's claiming he didn't have enough money to get me something "really nice". I would have been happy with nearly anything.

Also, it seems the players at my interactive comedy website, don't seem to care much at all either. Must be the season to be selfish...I don't know. But free ecards ARE relatively inexpensive.

Anyway, the day is now over...I only managed to drink one Martini and it wasn't a big one at that, but I was in pain. I also do have a few gifts that will be getting here next week so that will be nice.

I also have a blog I started writing in the doctor's office the other day...so something will be posted here - probably tomorrow.

Now far be it from me to ruin a good time, so those of you who would love to send me cards, flowers, money, job offers, and incredibly gorgeous presents, please feel free to do so. There is an address you can send them to via my comedy website...and yes, it is indeed valid. I am sure it's best to err on the side of caution this time and not start holding my breath anytime soon...last year David Blaine got some wild idea in his head because of my antics. Surely no one wants to give him any more ideas. ;)


  1. Happy birthday! For some reason, every time I hear "happy birthday" this time of year I think of that Frosty The Snowman cartoon. Anyway, 67 years old. Wow! That's a good age to be - not so old that you're decrepit, and old enough to be looked up to for some dry palmed, sage advice. Seriously, though, you've gotta start looking out for those cracks in the sidewalk. This is not the time for a lingering hip injury on top of everything else.

    Your daughter sounds like a saint. Your 20 year old son should know better. You can tell him that tpanner called him a jerk to no one in particular.

    I know how exasperating it is to you that I'm not sending money or job offers, but if I can put a smile on your face, with sort of a wink and a nudge, on this your 67th birthday, I think I've done a lot. And if I've only succeeded in pissing you off, well that's significant too. It gets the adrenaline flowing - makes a good pain killer.

    David Blaine? What the hell's that all about?

    You share birthdays with Catherine of Aragon, Ludwig von Beethoven, Jane Austin, George Santayana, Victor Rousseau, Harlan Sanders(KFC), Noel Coward, Margaret Mead, Arthur C. Clarke, Philip K. Dick, Liv Ullman, Lesley Stahl, Steven Bochco, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Benjamin Bratt, and Billy Ripken - a damn good second baseman for the Baltimore Orioles.

    Hmm. Pretty good company.

    Hope you had a great day.

    Much peace.

  2. Sixty-seven...67??? When did I suddenly become 67??? You sir, are whack.

    And apparently you don't keep up with David Blaine...he did that "hold his breath underwater" thingy on television. Yes, I only watched it because I had to - for entertainment fodder for my website and by the off chance Letterman or Ferguson calls me up and needs a really good David Blaine joke. Alas, even WITH the writer's strike, it hasn't happened yet. Sigh...

  3. That's right, I saw it. He was in this giant glass bubble, and he fell short of setting the record for holding his breath underwater. Is it safe to say that David Blaine is a complete douche? Sorry for using the word "douche" so much, but it's just the perfect expletive in so many situations.

    Sorry about the age thing. This coming from a guy who can remember The Cisco Kid and Koko The Clown cartoons(reruns of course).

    Double peace...