Daily things that are within our ability to do...yet we don't do them...and wonder what would have happened had we gone out of the way, if but for a minute, to take the time to do them...
Things whiz by my car window as I drive my daughter to school, they whiz by when I go to Fresh Market to buy food, things whiz by everyone on their daily day-to-day doings. We must look as bewildering and complicated from above as an ant colony looks to us from our perspective as well. We all have our destinations...we are determined to get there, our aim is predetermined...we shouldn't waver from it...we must be good scout, soldier, and worker ants...don't deviate from our mission. "Git 'er done!"
But at what cost? Is there a cost...is there just a tiny little butterfly effect that we might cause if we alter our daily doings...just how far would those ripples be felt...and most of all, would it be worth it in the end?
I was driving my daughter to school this morning, down Congressman Dickinson Drive...and right before I passed the Montgomery Humane Shelter on the right side of the road, there was a dog sitting on the side of the road...a big dog...a brown mastiff-looking lug of a dog...the canine equivalent of those not-so-bright mugs that protect the corrupt bosses in those old 30s/40s black/white films. But he wasn't a mean-looking type...he's one of those lovable mugs - just out of his element. I could tell he was lost...but I had to get my daughter to her school...she couldn't be late and I can't look up the shelter's number and drive at the same time. I COULD...but I refuse to drive that way...everyone should refuse such things.
I made it to her school - just in time and exited out of the parking lot - I take a different route back, so I don't know what became of that dog. Had I made a call and let them know about the dog...had I flapped my wings a little...they would have flapped theirs...and a whole other outcome would have come about. But I don't know the outcome...not that I would have known the alternate outcome. It's unlikely I would have called back to check on his status at the shelter..."don't ask...you might not want them to tell". But...I won't ask here as well...I might not want to hear it either. My choice to remain out of it...to step off that mental platform that calls each of us to do more than we do...called to me stronger than the one which would have gotten me involved.
The dog is now a blur as I go past, continuing on to my journey...my journey which is set, in mental concrete...that shouldn't have cracks in it. There must be no cracks...continue looking...but don't touch...don't make waves with those wings. I turn left onto Coliseum Blvd...there's a man, looking sad, a white plastic grocery store bag in his hand...bending down picking up trash from his yard. You can tell this is a daily stop on his personal journey...his that is also probably set. No verbal exchanges I'm sure from any passersby...do any of the littering culprits ever drive by to catch him picking up THEIR stuff they threw in his yard because they didn't want to clutter up their own cars? Do they drive by and snicker? Do they repeatedly throw the stuff in his yard all the time? Perhaps they work at the same store his grocery bag, now used as a trash bag, is from. I thought of that all in that millisecond time-frame that seemed to freeze-frame and then speed up again, like it does in films. As with the dog...my first and final contact with him. I'm almost to my destination - I'll not be late after all...keep it all in the parameters of my initial plan...don't get sidetracked.
I drop my daughter off...a few kids are being let out of their parents cars and running toward the school...you aren't supposed to do that - they are supposed to be accompanied by a parent when they are in the parking lot...they aren't being good ants...they aren't helping their colony. The small children are oblivious to the fact that the majority of the cars dashing in and out of the parking lot can't see them over the top of their hoods...let alone a rear-view image...but they still scurry. The cars, seemingly having their own agendas, must get to the next destination...a series of stops...move along...next station...move along again...and nothing is supposed to slow them down. But there are tiny little delicate cogs that can throw that system totally out of whack...these children, who probably have heard that old proverb..."children should be seen and not heard"...don't realize they are neither seen nor heard in a parking lot among the massive metal giants. Giants that can squoosh a child like a bug. So, I've decided today...I will be their champion...I will come to their aid...I will notify the school about these goings on before I hear what we all don't want to hear. I will pick up my phone, I will get online and write an email, I will dare to be that ripple that happens when I start to flap my wings...I will alight on my mental platform...I will take the time and I WILL be heard. It's only just a whisper I know...but a whisper can stop an accident, save a dog, or the person's life who might end up swerving to avoid hitting it. Whispers have started and stopped wars...whispers are much stronger than you can imagine.
Just think if we all spoke up from a whisper once in a while and beat our little wings until they made ripples...and if you ever saw ripples in water when you toss in even the tiniest pebble, you know they just keep going out further and further. I believe even a seemingly inconsequential phone call, intervention, deviation from our set norm...can set things in motion we've never dreamt of...and perhaps a deed we do will soar...even without anyone even knowing it.
A Bit About Me
- Mariann Simms
- Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".
30 March 2007
25 March 2007
"Remove Those Cases...Just In Case?"
Well, it only took them two days (received at 3:46 p.m. today)...but here it is (I just copied it over so it's in their words, not mine)...
Recall -- Firm Press Release
FDA posts press releases and other notices of recalls and market withdrawals from the firms involved as a service to consumers, the media, and other interested parties. FDA does not endorse either the product or the company. This listserv covers mainly Class I (life-threatening) recalls. A complete listing of recalls can be found in the FDA Enforcement Report at: http://www.fda.gov/opacom/Enforce.html Menu Foods Initiates Market Withdrawal of All Varieties of Recalled Wet Pet Food to Ensure Consumer Protection
Contact:Menu Foods 1-866-895-2708
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- TORONTO, ONTARIO -- March 24, 2007 -- As a result of reports from the FDA and various media outlets that some recalled lots of "cuts and gravy" style wet pet food remain on store shelves, Menu Foods has asked all retail outlets to immediately remove all impacted varieties of wet pet food posted at www.menufoods.com, regardless of the date code.Menu Foods remains concerned that consumers are able to purchase recalled items.There is no known risk from items not listed on the recall list but an abundance of caution is called for in this situation. FDA has been apprised of this action.####
Additional Information on this Pet Food Recall
FDA's Recalls, Market Withdrawals and Safety Alerts Page: http://www.fda.gov/opacom/7alerts.html
___________________________________________________
Recall -- Firm Press Release
FDA posts press releases and other notices of recalls and market withdrawals from the firms involved as a service to consumers, the media, and other interested parties. FDA does not endorse either the product or the company. This listserv covers mainly Class I (life-threatening) recalls. A complete listing of recalls can be found in the FDA Enforcement Report at: http://www.fda.gov/opacom/Enforce.html Menu Foods Initiates Market Withdrawal of All Varieties of Recalled Wet Pet Food to Ensure Consumer Protection
Contact:Menu Foods 1-866-895-2708
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- TORONTO, ONTARIO -- March 24, 2007 -- As a result of reports from the FDA and various media outlets that some recalled lots of "cuts and gravy" style wet pet food remain on store shelves, Menu Foods has asked all retail outlets to immediately remove all impacted varieties of wet pet food posted at www.menufoods.com, regardless of the date code.Menu Foods remains concerned that consumers are able to purchase recalled items.There is no known risk from items not listed on the recall list but an abundance of caution is called for in this situation. FDA has been apprised of this action.####
Additional Information on this Pet Food Recall
FDA's Recalls, Market Withdrawals and Safety Alerts Page: http://www.fda.gov/opacom/7alerts.html
___________________________________________________
24 March 2007
Inexcusable Omissions
If you remember the last blog I wrote - it dealt with my having Hill's Science Diet cat food - but luckily none with the expiration dates mentioned on the recall list...and I also mentioned that I was going to err on the safe side and not feed them any of the "cuts and gravy" type canned food for a few days "just in case". Well, I have since given them a few cans of it figuring no other recall was made and they definitely would have said something by mid-week at the latest.
Imagine my surprise...or should I say shock when I read this article tonight...which clearly states that aminopterin, used as a rat poison in some countries, was found in the product produced at the two plants and that they expanded the recall to include ALL 95 brands of the "cuts and gravy"...regardless of when they were produced. They announced this Friday, March 23...I am sure much earlier than I read about it around midnight. I even fed my cats two cans of the "cuts and gravy" stuff earlier tonight...so thanks for not initiating a new alert nor posting anything on the recall list about it. Hill's...I want to thank you as well as your website has remained virtually unchanged (except for the newer date, I don't see anything remotely different) from the first time I viewed it...on the 17th. If this new "rat poison" expanded recall does not pertain to any of your product...you should address this on your site and not make us worry unnecessarily...like I'm doing right now. I also haven't received any FDA automatic email recall notifications about this yet either...so, lastly I'd like to thank the government. Because of this my cats have ingested food which may have been contaminated with poison (they said in the article that "ANY amount in pet food is too much") - this is an outrage.
Now either the above news article has erroneous information in it or it doesn't...I'd like to know for sure. One thing's for sure...the recall list we all were relying on to be "up-to-date" didn't even have Hill's Science Diet included on it until recently. I was sent an automatic FDA email notification on the 19th initiated by Hill's...this information was not posted on the recall list until at least two days later (I was double and triple-checking like a maniac...trust me I would have seen it)...and I know they had to have been alerted...I was alerted...I'm sure they were. Unfortunately, this begs the question "Are there other cat/dog food brands that are left off this list...or the individual brand sites...we just don't know about yet and just how much longer do we have to constantly click on these sites to see if anything new's been added"? No pun intended...but we all certainly have to be our own consumer watchdogs, don't we?
Imagine my surprise...or should I say shock when I read this article tonight...which clearly states that aminopterin, used as a rat poison in some countries, was found in the product produced at the two plants and that they expanded the recall to include ALL 95 brands of the "cuts and gravy"...regardless of when they were produced. They announced this Friday, March 23...I am sure much earlier than I read about it around midnight. I even fed my cats two cans of the "cuts and gravy" stuff earlier tonight...so thanks for not initiating a new alert nor posting anything on the recall list about it. Hill's...I want to thank you as well as your website has remained virtually unchanged (except for the newer date, I don't see anything remotely different) from the first time I viewed it...on the 17th. If this new "rat poison" expanded recall does not pertain to any of your product...you should address this on your site and not make us worry unnecessarily...like I'm doing right now. I also haven't received any FDA automatic email recall notifications about this yet either...so, lastly I'd like to thank the government. Because of this my cats have ingested food which may have been contaminated with poison (they said in the article that "ANY amount in pet food is too much") - this is an outrage.
Now either the above news article has erroneous information in it or it doesn't...I'd like to know for sure. One thing's for sure...the recall list we all were relying on to be "up-to-date" didn't even have Hill's Science Diet included on it until recently. I was sent an automatic FDA email notification on the 19th initiated by Hill's...this information was not posted on the recall list until at least two days later (I was double and triple-checking like a maniac...trust me I would have seen it)...and I know they had to have been alerted...I was alerted...I'm sure they were. Unfortunately, this begs the question "Are there other cat/dog food brands that are left off this list...or the individual brand sites...we just don't know about yet and just how much longer do we have to constantly click on these sites to see if anything new's been added"? No pun intended...but we all certainly have to be our own consumer watchdogs, don't we?
17 March 2007
Hill's/Purina Recalls
Just thought I'd pass along a couple new cat/dog food recalls I received today which have not yet made it to the overall list. This morning I was glad to know that Hill's "Science Diet" wasn't involved until just now reading they, in fact, were...but none of the product codes match...but just to err on the safe side I'll not feed my cats any of the "cuts" variety until next week, in case they broaden the list later.
Also, this new recall affects Purina's "Mighty Dog" wet/foil dog food as well...so you might want to take note. I am sure they will be added to the overall list, but I just wanted to pass it on as soon as I could.
Hill's
Purina
Also, this new recall affects Purina's "Mighty Dog" wet/foil dog food as well...so you might want to take note. I am sure they will be added to the overall list, but I just wanted to pass it on as soon as I could.
Hill's
Purina
16 March 2007
Total Recalls
By now you've probably all read or heard about the recall of certain canned/foil pouch dog and cat food which can cause kidney failure in your pets. The whole list of companies/products involved isn't going to be released until 6:00 a.m. Saturday morning, but Eukanuba and Iams have already listed which of their products are included in the recall. If you haven't read about it yet, it can be found here: cat/dog food recalled list - the itemized list is not up there yet...but will be...in the meantime there is this: Eukanuba/Iams list .
Now, you don't have to wait until you hear these things from a friend or on the news, you can subscribe to the recalls and have them sent to you, via email, automatically. Don't worry, they aren't going to clog up your inbox...they don't send out that many...and when you think about it...if it can save your life or the life of someone you know, isn't it worth it? I've been doing this now for about five or so years...you would be amazed at the things that you never ever hear about that are recalled...and some actually are life-threatening...or can make you very sick...especially if you have a food allergy. You can go here... FDA Recalls to subscribe and/or to view a whole list of archived recalled items or here... Government Recalls if you want to get on a product recall email list as well as the food/medicine items...you know, when they recall child seats, power tools, clothing (yes, they do recall them sometimes), and other products. It's individually broken out so you can choose which you want to subscribe to.
Perhaps this will save a few lives...or a few visits to the emergency room...and you have the added benefit of automatic notification and being able to peruse the lists at your convenience.
Now, you don't have to wait until you hear these things from a friend or on the news, you can subscribe to the recalls and have them sent to you, via email, automatically. Don't worry, they aren't going to clog up your inbox...they don't send out that many...and when you think about it...if it can save your life or the life of someone you know, isn't it worth it? I've been doing this now for about five or so years...you would be amazed at the things that you never ever hear about that are recalled...and some actually are life-threatening...or can make you very sick...especially if you have a food allergy. You can go here... FDA Recalls to subscribe and/or to view a whole list of archived recalled items or here... Government Recalls if you want to get on a product recall email list as well as the food/medicine items...you know, when they recall child seats, power tools, clothing (yes, they do recall them sometimes), and other products. It's individually broken out so you can choose which you want to subscribe to.
Perhaps this will save a few lives...or a few visits to the emergency room...and you have the added benefit of automatic notification and being able to peruse the lists at your convenience.
06 March 2007
Consider if you will...
Here are some things that I've pondered the last few days...aka "filler as I haven't done a few blogs I've wanted to do, but this stuff was in my head already and I wanted to say it before it popped back out"...
Bullet statements: You'd figure by now they'd rename them something far less controversial, especially since students sometimes use them when they do their reports..."Sorry ma'am, couldn't do my term paper...that zero tolerance rule you know."
Flashlights vs batteries for said flashlights: I have a few flashlights...okay, I'll be honest, I have a whole slew of flashlights and wouldn't you know it, they all are dead or pretty much well on their way. So, I remembered to buy some batteries for them yesterday...C, D and those huge 6-volt-sized ones. As I was paying for them the cashier remarked to me that it would be cheaper to just buy new flashlights that come with the battery already. It's true. I bought a few on sale (batteries included) about two years ago, and they were indeed cheaper than just the batteries alone...and their cheap batteries last much longer than the primo ones. Next time I'm just buying new flashlights.
Why don't those "Good Housekeeping" and "Reader's Digest" magazines ever print any articles where the person doesn't come close to dying or some other equally life-altering dire situation? A nice "feel good" story for a change, like "I am Bob's Liver and Nothing's Wrong With Me At All Even Tho Between You and Me, the Man Drinks Like a Fish!"...something to make you go "Well, there ya go Martha...Bob drinks like a fish and his innards are fine...now go on and make me that 7th Scotch and Soda!". I was in the doctor's office the other day and read an entire "Good Housekeeping" magazine (yes, I waited that long)...one article was about a teenager who had been at football practice, hurt his knee, then two days later his parents were told by the doctors "if you have anything you want to tell him...you best do it now" because he had gotten a clot in his leg, pieces were breaking off and lodging in his lungs and he was getting septic as well. Altho he pulled thru, it just seemed so overly terrifying. Every time my kids have a bruise from this point on, I will be going into hyper-panic mode. Another article was about how this woman nearly died on board some cruise ship (or should I say "off" board) because after she slipped and hurt her arm...the cruise line told her to seek treatment when they docked. The foreign doctors in some "much less than sanitary" medical facility where they were wanted her to sign some paperwork to allow them to amputate some limbs...she and her husband refused and this "hospital" wouldn't let them "check out" until they paid a $1900 (or some figure) bill. Another cruise line's shipboard doctor gave injection after injection of blood thinner to some man he figured was having a heart attack. The passenger and his wife kept saying he had problems "exactly like this" with indigestion before...but no...the doctor refused to buy into their "expertise", relied on his own...even deciding to defibrillate him as well, thereby damaging this poor man's perfectly normal heart. Turned out one of the EKG leads was disconnected and the doctor thought he flatlined because he passed out from all the blood thinner medicine. Then they had the audacity to tell this couple to disembark the ship permanently as his "newly acquired medical condition" was jeopardizing the enjoyment of the other passengers. So...now I guess I'll never take a cruise either. Not that I was planning to...you see, you need money to do that kinda thing...which brings me to my last observation...
I've been trying, unsuccessfully mind you, to find a job here in Montgomery...for oh, about a year now. I have a brain, I have SOME skills...at least I'd like to think so...but the facts are that I've been a stay-at-home Mom for nearly 20 years and I don't have a college degree...no one will even call me in to do an interview...bottom line is they assume I can't function...or perhaps I don't need to function as I've been "not functioning" for the past 20 years and doing just fine in their eyes. I look at the want ads all the time and the majority of people it seems don't make a whole heck of a lot of money in this town...I know I'd probably jump for joy if I made a "whopping" $7.50+ an hour. But the thing that amazes me is how many people are driving really nice cars...new cars...or relatively new cars...and they all can't be making $30+ an hour. Everyone I talk to doesn't even come close to that, so how can they all afford these car payments, cellphones (oh, you know each one driving is talking on one), houses or apartments, clothes, utilities AND food...and that's not even taking gas and car insurance into consideration. And I know for a fact not everyone is married pulling in double income dollars. I'd really like to know their secret...please, if you know it, let me know...until then I'll be writing my highly anticipated "feel good" article for Reader's Digest, "How Mariann Found a Job By Complaining About Not Having One In Her Blog".
Bullet statements: You'd figure by now they'd rename them something far less controversial, especially since students sometimes use them when they do their reports..."Sorry ma'am, couldn't do my term paper...that zero tolerance rule you know."
Flashlights vs batteries for said flashlights: I have a few flashlights...okay, I'll be honest, I have a whole slew of flashlights and wouldn't you know it, they all are dead or pretty much well on their way. So, I remembered to buy some batteries for them yesterday...C, D and those huge 6-volt-sized ones. As I was paying for them the cashier remarked to me that it would be cheaper to just buy new flashlights that come with the battery already. It's true. I bought a few on sale (batteries included) about two years ago, and they were indeed cheaper than just the batteries alone...and their cheap batteries last much longer than the primo ones. Next time I'm just buying new flashlights.
Why don't those "Good Housekeeping" and "Reader's Digest" magazines ever print any articles where the person doesn't come close to dying or some other equally life-altering dire situation? A nice "feel good" story for a change, like "I am Bob's Liver and Nothing's Wrong With Me At All Even Tho Between You and Me, the Man Drinks Like a Fish!"...something to make you go "Well, there ya go Martha...Bob drinks like a fish and his innards are fine...now go on and make me that 7th Scotch and Soda!". I was in the doctor's office the other day and read an entire "Good Housekeeping" magazine (yes, I waited that long)...one article was about a teenager who had been at football practice, hurt his knee, then two days later his parents were told by the doctors "if you have anything you want to tell him...you best do it now" because he had gotten a clot in his leg, pieces were breaking off and lodging in his lungs and he was getting septic as well. Altho he pulled thru, it just seemed so overly terrifying. Every time my kids have a bruise from this point on, I will be going into hyper-panic mode. Another article was about how this woman nearly died on board some cruise ship (or should I say "off" board) because after she slipped and hurt her arm...the cruise line told her to seek treatment when they docked. The foreign doctors in some "much less than sanitary" medical facility where they were wanted her to sign some paperwork to allow them to amputate some limbs...she and her husband refused and this "hospital" wouldn't let them "check out" until they paid a $1900 (or some figure) bill. Another cruise line's shipboard doctor gave injection after injection of blood thinner to some man he figured was having a heart attack. The passenger and his wife kept saying he had problems "exactly like this" with indigestion before...but no...the doctor refused to buy into their "expertise", relied on his own...even deciding to defibrillate him as well, thereby damaging this poor man's perfectly normal heart. Turned out one of the EKG leads was disconnected and the doctor thought he flatlined because he passed out from all the blood thinner medicine. Then they had the audacity to tell this couple to disembark the ship permanently as his "newly acquired medical condition" was jeopardizing the enjoyment of the other passengers. So...now I guess I'll never take a cruise either. Not that I was planning to...you see, you need money to do that kinda thing...which brings me to my last observation...
I've been trying, unsuccessfully mind you, to find a job here in Montgomery...for oh, about a year now. I have a brain, I have SOME skills...at least I'd like to think so...but the facts are that I've been a stay-at-home Mom for nearly 20 years and I don't have a college degree...no one will even call me in to do an interview...bottom line is they assume I can't function...or perhaps I don't need to function as I've been "not functioning" for the past 20 years and doing just fine in their eyes. I look at the want ads all the time and the majority of people it seems don't make a whole heck of a lot of money in this town...I know I'd probably jump for joy if I made a "whopping" $7.50+ an hour. But the thing that amazes me is how many people are driving really nice cars...new cars...or relatively new cars...and they all can't be making $30+ an hour. Everyone I talk to doesn't even come close to that, so how can they all afford these car payments, cellphones (oh, you know each one driving is talking on one), houses or apartments, clothes, utilities AND food...and that's not even taking gas and car insurance into consideration. And I know for a fact not everyone is married pulling in double income dollars. I'd really like to know their secret...please, if you know it, let me know...until then I'll be writing my highly anticipated "feel good" article for Reader's Digest, "How Mariann Found a Job By Complaining About Not Having One In Her Blog".
05 March 2007
Killer Tornadoes
Firstly, I would like to send my condolences and prayers out to all those affected by the tornadoes the other day...especially those whose families and friends lost a loved one. It is always so terrible to hear such sad, sad news...and my heart goes out to all of you.
Well, a few much less terrible things have happened as well since last I've done a blog - I will try to get some jotted down into a readable format here in a little bit.
Well, a few much less terrible things have happened as well since last I've done a blog - I will try to get some jotted down into a readable format here in a little bit.
23 February 2007
Show Me The Funny...
My online friend alerted me the other day that late nite talk show host (and my personal fav), Craig Ferguson, stated he wouldn't be doing any more jokes about Britney Spears as undoubtedly this woman has a problem...which, when it all boils down to it, isn't exactly funny...and less funny to poke fun of considering how much other celebrity fodder there is out there. I watched Craig that nite and sure enough he mentioned how this statement of his was getting around the Internet and how big and out of proportion it all was...he just isn't going to make fun of her for needing and trying to get some help. I, and my friend, wholeheartedly commend him for saying this.
When exactly do you draw the line on a celebrity and what you can and cannot make fun of about them? Some of you probably know that I have an interactive online comedy website, HumorMeOnline, and have made fun of Britney, Anna Nicole Smith, and Michael Jackson more times than I could count. But, call me a comedy killjoy...there are certain things I personally don't find funny: Child molestation, untimely death, and making fun of God. I just won't go there in most cases...oh, sure I've picked entries from people dealing with the whole Michael Jackson thing...BUT once it was pretty much a given that he probably did molest children in some way...I stopped. Priests and clergy molesting children? I don't see the funny...we are talking about innocent children here...how can anyone, when you seriously think about it...think it's funny?
When Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, the FIRST thing I thought of was "Leno's going to crack some joke about her"...my friend online at the time, whilst I was watching Letterman stated "Leno just did an Anna Nicole joke". How insensitive. How downright disgusting. At least to me...and from everyone I've spoken with...to them as well. Here is this woman, surely one of the greatest people to come along to pick on...a ditzy blonde built like most women wish they would look like...the closest thing we had since Jayne Mansfield to poke fun of (Mansfield purportedly had a 160 IQ). But, here is this woman, Anna Nicole, surely a caricature by her own design (she couldn't have been that stupid to get to where she was neither if you ask me) - and granted, she sure did some things to make fun of...and a lot of us took advantage of all of that.
I, unlike a lot of people, HAVE to keep abreast (no not an Anna Nicole joke...not any more) of things such as these...it's part of my "job"...I host my comedy website...without knowing which celebrity isn't wearing underwear today...leaves me at a deficit. I don't subscribe to People magazine, or watch Entertainment Tonite very often...I've never bought a National Enquirer and I don't intend to. This stuff is all over the Internet - why should I waste my hard-earned cash to know something that's already up there for free? So, when someone rattles off an entry containing the words "Suri", "the breakup video on YouTube", or "Chicken of the Sea isn't chicken?"...I know who or what they are speaking about. I don't necessarily care that topless photos of Jennifer Aniston were on Perez Hilton's website...but I know it...I HAVE to know it.
And that brings me back to Anna Nicole. I knew she had a son...I knew she loved him a lot. EVERY single photo or video I saw with her and him...she was glowing...she was doting...she just loved him so much. She couldn't have been faking all that...honestly, I saw her on her reality show...she wasn't that good an actress. This was genuine. I heard John Travolta talking about her the other day on some show saying how, when she was in a film with him, all she did was talk about him...nonstop - she just went on and on. This is not the actions of someone totally focused only on themselves...this was a woman who was also a mother. A caring mother who loved her son...who also loved her newborn daughter. But her son died in the hospital coming to visit her when she had her daughter - talk about traumatic. How can anyone get over something like that? How do you deal with that? How can you possibly deal with that under the microscope of all those cameras? And she had to lose weight I'm sure...being a spokesperson for TrimSpa...with a lawsuit slapped on the company, and I'm sure the company breathing down her neck...well...you try to lose weight right after you have a baby. Just because they are celebrities, they don't have magic pills...they have the other ones other people have used for years...but most people aren't scrutinized and expected to do things like a lot of celebrities have to.
I admit, when I first read that Anna Nicole died, I thought "Okay, not a funny joke...what type of publicity stunt is this now?"...but it wasn't. To me...it was sad. Quite sad. But the making fun of her and her infant daughter which ensued directly afterward and goes on still...isn't sad, it sickens me. I can't tell you how many entries I received at my site alone joking about just that...and these people have to know by now I don't even gravitate toward that type of humour...and I won't...but the people who come to my site don't see the "behind the scenes" things...but that doesn't mean we don't get them...and worse. Oh, much worse sometimes. Yes, once in a while I still get World Trade Center jokes submitted...and Holocaust ones. Talk about some hilarious topics, huh? They say comedy isn't pretty...let's get real here...sometimes it's downright ugly...and sometimes it's just not funny.
Which brings us back to Britney...maybe she's on a big publicity campaign, maybe she's always just been bonkers...but one thing is certain "normal" people don't act the way she's been lately, and if it is depression, drugs, a last-ditch effort to keep custody of her children...well I don't think we should all jump on the comedy bandwagon and make fun of her continually. When do you (or comedy shows/sites) draw the line and say "Wow, maybe she has some mental issues here? Maybe we should just give her a little time to get help and sort out whatever demons she has to deal with. Maybe we just need to back off and go chase Paris Hilton for a few weeks instead." And THE ugliest portrayal of something disguised as comedy I've seen so far...and by far? AOL's main screen page, showing a photo of a giant squid, the four-legged duck, and Britney smack in the middle with this lead-in line above: "Take a Peek At These Freaks" - how calculatingly callous can they be...and this is entertainment? This is a news service? More like disservice if you ask me. That was, at least to myself, exceedingly offensive. To be on the receiving end of it all...poor Britney, she's still a human being after all. Show SOME restraint people.
So, I, too, will show some restraint...and until that day I see her being her usual "wacky Britney-self" again, I will try my hardest to go and haunt some other celebrity...there's so many of them out there...plus I really haven't "officially" picked on Rosie and Trump - I'm sure they will be in the news here again any second now...any second...
When exactly do you draw the line on a celebrity and what you can and cannot make fun of about them? Some of you probably know that I have an interactive online comedy website, HumorMeOnline, and have made fun of Britney, Anna Nicole Smith, and Michael Jackson more times than I could count. But, call me a comedy killjoy...there are certain things I personally don't find funny: Child molestation, untimely death, and making fun of God. I just won't go there in most cases...oh, sure I've picked entries from people dealing with the whole Michael Jackson thing...BUT once it was pretty much a given that he probably did molest children in some way...I stopped. Priests and clergy molesting children? I don't see the funny...we are talking about innocent children here...how can anyone, when you seriously think about it...think it's funny?
When Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, the FIRST thing I thought of was "Leno's going to crack some joke about her"...my friend online at the time, whilst I was watching Letterman stated "Leno just did an Anna Nicole joke". How insensitive. How downright disgusting. At least to me...and from everyone I've spoken with...to them as well. Here is this woman, surely one of the greatest people to come along to pick on...a ditzy blonde built like most women wish they would look like...the closest thing we had since Jayne Mansfield to poke fun of (Mansfield purportedly had a 160 IQ). But, here is this woman, Anna Nicole, surely a caricature by her own design (she couldn't have been that stupid to get to where she was neither if you ask me) - and granted, she sure did some things to make fun of...and a lot of us took advantage of all of that.
I, unlike a lot of people, HAVE to keep abreast (no not an Anna Nicole joke...not any more) of things such as these...it's part of my "job"...I host my comedy website...without knowing which celebrity isn't wearing underwear today...leaves me at a deficit. I don't subscribe to People magazine, or watch Entertainment Tonite very often...I've never bought a National Enquirer and I don't intend to. This stuff is all over the Internet - why should I waste my hard-earned cash to know something that's already up there for free? So, when someone rattles off an entry containing the words "Suri", "the breakup video on YouTube", or "Chicken of the Sea isn't chicken?"...I know who or what they are speaking about. I don't necessarily care that topless photos of Jennifer Aniston were on Perez Hilton's website...but I know it...I HAVE to know it.
And that brings me back to Anna Nicole. I knew she had a son...I knew she loved him a lot. EVERY single photo or video I saw with her and him...she was glowing...she was doting...she just loved him so much. She couldn't have been faking all that...honestly, I saw her on her reality show...she wasn't that good an actress. This was genuine. I heard John Travolta talking about her the other day on some show saying how, when she was in a film with him, all she did was talk about him...nonstop - she just went on and on. This is not the actions of someone totally focused only on themselves...this was a woman who was also a mother. A caring mother who loved her son...who also loved her newborn daughter. But her son died in the hospital coming to visit her when she had her daughter - talk about traumatic. How can anyone get over something like that? How do you deal with that? How can you possibly deal with that under the microscope of all those cameras? And she had to lose weight I'm sure...being a spokesperson for TrimSpa...with a lawsuit slapped on the company, and I'm sure the company breathing down her neck...well...you try to lose weight right after you have a baby. Just because they are celebrities, they don't have magic pills...they have the other ones other people have used for years...but most people aren't scrutinized and expected to do things like a lot of celebrities have to.
I admit, when I first read that Anna Nicole died, I thought "Okay, not a funny joke...what type of publicity stunt is this now?"...but it wasn't. To me...it was sad. Quite sad. But the making fun of her and her infant daughter which ensued directly afterward and goes on still...isn't sad, it sickens me. I can't tell you how many entries I received at my site alone joking about just that...and these people have to know by now I don't even gravitate toward that type of humour...and I won't...but the people who come to my site don't see the "behind the scenes" things...but that doesn't mean we don't get them...and worse. Oh, much worse sometimes. Yes, once in a while I still get World Trade Center jokes submitted...and Holocaust ones. Talk about some hilarious topics, huh? They say comedy isn't pretty...let's get real here...sometimes it's downright ugly...and sometimes it's just not funny.
Which brings us back to Britney...maybe she's on a big publicity campaign, maybe she's always just been bonkers...but one thing is certain "normal" people don't act the way she's been lately, and if it is depression, drugs, a last-ditch effort to keep custody of her children...well I don't think we should all jump on the comedy bandwagon and make fun of her continually. When do you (or comedy shows/sites) draw the line and say "Wow, maybe she has some mental issues here? Maybe we should just give her a little time to get help and sort out whatever demons she has to deal with. Maybe we just need to back off and go chase Paris Hilton for a few weeks instead." And THE ugliest portrayal of something disguised as comedy I've seen so far...and by far? AOL's main screen page, showing a photo of a giant squid, the four-legged duck, and Britney smack in the middle with this lead-in line above: "Take a Peek At These Freaks" - how calculatingly callous can they be...and this is entertainment? This is a news service? More like disservice if you ask me. That was, at least to myself, exceedingly offensive. To be on the receiving end of it all...poor Britney, she's still a human being after all. Show SOME restraint people.
So, I, too, will show some restraint...and until that day I see her being her usual "wacky Britney-self" again, I will try my hardest to go and haunt some other celebrity...there's so many of them out there...plus I really haven't "officially" picked on Rosie and Trump - I'm sure they will be in the news here again any second now...any second...
15 February 2007
What Price Romance?
Well, I've been remiss in doing a blog here it seems. I've had a couple people write to tell me that they've missed them and wondered when I was going to write another. That, of course, made me feel good...as not everyone out there who reads these things comments on them. I know a few bloggers here have mentioned the lack of comments on their own blogs and I just wanted to assure them here that this alone is not necessarily any indicator that theirs aren't being read and thoroughly enjoyed. Now with that said, I will try my utmost to remember this myself and get a few churned out each week.
I know, I know...I said I would do the "gun blog" as a few of you have pointed out...and I will...and I also know you are perched on the edge of your seats with bated breath just anticipating when that day may indeed come. Yes, that was tongue in cheek there...but since some of you did ask, I only wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten. I just thought a "romance-themed" one was more timely as it was indeed Valentine's Day yesterday (oh, don't tell me you forgot)...so here goes...
Valentine's Day...just what is it? A day to remember your sweetheart...a day the stores made up to get rid of all those items you returned at Christmas...a day to show off to your friends in the office that you had a bouquet of roses, a teddy bear and balloons sent to you...and nobody else did? Well...I think it might be a combination of those. Yes, I'm cynical and bitter because, well...I come from Jersey and it's a birthright...BUT I am also a diehard romantic at heart.
No...seriously, I am.
I was watching Craig Ferguson last nite...love Craig Ferguson by the way...but he pointed out about the "romance" factor as well...as I'm sure every late show host did last nite. One question he asked was, in essence, "Why do women think that a horse-drawn carriage ride around Central Park is romantic?" I'll tell ya why, Craig...because 99.7% of us haven't EXPERIENCED one yet. And therein lies the crux of the matter in a nutshell.
Men...let me give you a little advice...well, only those of you who need advice...and there's only about .3% of you who don't need it...so I'd listen up. Trust me...I'm female. We all yearn to be that woman in the office who gets the roses...we all want to trip her when she goes out to her car with the roses, precariously balancing her teddy bear and cellphone in one hand and her purse and flower/balloon dealie with the other...we want to see them hurtle to the ground and fall in a puddle as she tries to retrieve her car keys...that's how badly we want to be that person. It's not because we so badly want a dozen roses that go for triple their market price one day a year...we don't want any stupid teddy bears...and we certainly don't want any mylar balloons (well, okay...maybe the balloon...but only if it's really nice)...what we DO want is some recognition that we indeed are admired. Admiration is a good thing...when that admiration comes from Marge in the office who didn't get any flowers sent to her, it's nice...when it comes from a man who would take the time to send those flowers...or bring them in himself, well, it's even nicer.
And...it doesn't stop there. No, it doesn't. You don't get off that easily...and you won't be...if you catch my drift...because one day a year should not cut it. Tossing some candy down on the table with a card on your way into the house as nonchalantly as you would your car keys and coat is not romantic. Now, I won't say it here...but we all know what guys want in return for that candy and card...and if your woman has any sense, she'll take about as long at it as you spent picking out that lame card. You reap what you sow...so put some time and thought into it...and do it more than one day a year. I bet if you left some "silly little romantic notes" around the house for your lady throughout the year...you'd find out she'd be a lot more accommodating. Carriage rides? Oh, yes, they might be corny...but I've never been on one...and you can bet if I had been whisked off to a surprise romantic dinner (not too surprised...we want to look good, you know) once in a while, had some romantic notes placed around where I could find them, and given flowers without "expecting" anything in return...well...you do the math.
It's all in the presentation...you've got to have feelings involved...you just can't go thru the motions and then complain when we "go thru the motions" without having any emotion behind it. Why can't you prepare a nice candlelit dinner for your lady once in a while...and on no special occasion...just "because you appreciate her" should be occasion enough. Don't wait for some obligatory holiday to roll around once a year to force you to be one of a pack of lemmings: "Stand in line...buy card...stand in line...buy flowers...stand in line...buy candy." Romance isn't all about that stuff...it's about being made to feel special...and you don't need a Donald Trump income (or at least you shouldn't - if you do, you're with some unappreciative lady) in order to romance someone. Take time to see what you both like...because it really should work both ways. If she likes planting things in her garden...get up early one day and pull some weeds out for her...or hide a homemade card for her where she'll find it. Trust me...homemade cards, where you write your own sentiments...worth more than any Hallmark store's complete inventory. If he likes to watch football...go online and Google "football terms", learn some and toss some out randomly just to see his reaction. Take the time to KNOW what's important to each other...and that doesn't cost a thing. You see? Silly, no?
No...I don't think so.
I know, I know...I said I would do the "gun blog" as a few of you have pointed out...and I will...and I also know you are perched on the edge of your seats with bated breath just anticipating when that day may indeed come. Yes, that was tongue in cheek there...but since some of you did ask, I only wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten. I just thought a "romance-themed" one was more timely as it was indeed Valentine's Day yesterday (oh, don't tell me you forgot)...so here goes...
Valentine's Day...just what is it? A day to remember your sweetheart...a day the stores made up to get rid of all those items you returned at Christmas...a day to show off to your friends in the office that you had a bouquet of roses, a teddy bear and balloons sent to you...and nobody else did? Well...I think it might be a combination of those. Yes, I'm cynical and bitter because, well...I come from Jersey and it's a birthright...BUT I am also a diehard romantic at heart.
No...seriously, I am.
I was watching Craig Ferguson last nite...love Craig Ferguson by the way...but he pointed out about the "romance" factor as well...as I'm sure every late show host did last nite. One question he asked was, in essence, "Why do women think that a horse-drawn carriage ride around Central Park is romantic?" I'll tell ya why, Craig...because 99.7% of us haven't EXPERIENCED one yet. And therein lies the crux of the matter in a nutshell.
Men...let me give you a little advice...well, only those of you who need advice...and there's only about .3% of you who don't need it...so I'd listen up. Trust me...I'm female. We all yearn to be that woman in the office who gets the roses...we all want to trip her when she goes out to her car with the roses, precariously balancing her teddy bear and cellphone in one hand and her purse and flower/balloon dealie with the other...we want to see them hurtle to the ground and fall in a puddle as she tries to retrieve her car keys...that's how badly we want to be that person. It's not because we so badly want a dozen roses that go for triple their market price one day a year...we don't want any stupid teddy bears...and we certainly don't want any mylar balloons (well, okay...maybe the balloon...but only if it's really nice)...what we DO want is some recognition that we indeed are admired. Admiration is a good thing...when that admiration comes from Marge in the office who didn't get any flowers sent to her, it's nice...when it comes from a man who would take the time to send those flowers...or bring them in himself, well, it's even nicer.
And...it doesn't stop there. No, it doesn't. You don't get off that easily...and you won't be...if you catch my drift...because one day a year should not cut it. Tossing some candy down on the table with a card on your way into the house as nonchalantly as you would your car keys and coat is not romantic. Now, I won't say it here...but we all know what guys want in return for that candy and card...and if your woman has any sense, she'll take about as long at it as you spent picking out that lame card. You reap what you sow...so put some time and thought into it...and do it more than one day a year. I bet if you left some "silly little romantic notes" around the house for your lady throughout the year...you'd find out she'd be a lot more accommodating. Carriage rides? Oh, yes, they might be corny...but I've never been on one...and you can bet if I had been whisked off to a surprise romantic dinner (not too surprised...we want to look good, you know) once in a while, had some romantic notes placed around where I could find them, and given flowers without "expecting" anything in return...well...you do the math.
It's all in the presentation...you've got to have feelings involved...you just can't go thru the motions and then complain when we "go thru the motions" without having any emotion behind it. Why can't you prepare a nice candlelit dinner for your lady once in a while...and on no special occasion...just "because you appreciate her" should be occasion enough. Don't wait for some obligatory holiday to roll around once a year to force you to be one of a pack of lemmings: "Stand in line...buy card...stand in line...buy flowers...stand in line...buy candy." Romance isn't all about that stuff...it's about being made to feel special...and you don't need a Donald Trump income (or at least you shouldn't - if you do, you're with some unappreciative lady) in order to romance someone. Take time to see what you both like...because it really should work both ways. If she likes planting things in her garden...get up early one day and pull some weeds out for her...or hide a homemade card for her where she'll find it. Trust me...homemade cards, where you write your own sentiments...worth more than any Hallmark store's complete inventory. If he likes to watch football...go online and Google "football terms", learn some and toss some out randomly just to see his reaction. Take the time to KNOW what's important to each other...and that doesn't cost a thing. You see? Silly, no?
No...I don't think so.
07 February 2007
Houston, we have a problem...
I'm sure by now all of you have probably read or heard about the NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, who, by the way, holds a master's degree in aeronautical engineering, went rather "out of orbit" yesterday brandishing a wig, pepper spray, a BB-gun, and various other incriminating implements (rubber tubing, a mallet, a 4-inch bladed knife, and large garbage bags) most people just don't carry around with them on most given days...and undoubtedly attempted to get inside the vehicle of Coleen Shipman, a woman whom Nowak believed to be her romantic rival getting in the way of her endeavours to woo fellow astronaut, William Oefelein. Whew! With me so far?
These are the things soap operas are made of...or they will be by next week. Anyway...the alleged story goes that Nowak had something "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship" with Oefelein.
Here's my take on it all...and purely my take: In female terms, in a nutshell (no pun intended): Nowak wanted him to feel the same about her and return her affections and so far it just hadn't worked. So...what to do...what to do? With the breakdown of her 19-year marriage, which may or may not have been hurried along because of her unrequited feelings for Oefelein, who is unmarried, by the way...she probably felt she was at an impasse and HAD to do something or she would lose her man...whom she didn't have yet. But, by golly, evidenced by her reactions yesterday, she sure wanted him badly enough to not only scrap a job most people could only dream of...but also ruined any chance to remain a mother (she will, of course, remain their mother...but probably from a jail cell for a long while) to her twin 5-year-old girls and also her 14 or 15-year-old son. Now, I have two children...and I tell you...it would be a cold day in Hell before I put myself first...especially in this type of context...over my responsibility to be there for them as a mother. Ain't gonna happen.
But back to the story...Nowak is now released on bond, tethered to a monitoring device. Personally, I'd think she was pretty unstable and needed to go thru some mandatory court-ordered psychological work-up before sending her on her merry way. This woman is definitely NOT thinking correctly...I'm sure her lawyers and psychologists will come up with some fancy terminology to explain it all...let's see...hmmm...how about "Space Dementia"? "Yes, my client has been in space too long and the lack of oxygen has undoubtedly affected her brain. She never would have had these delusional thoughts otherwise." Can't you just see them force-feeding this line to a jury of her peers...which, seriously...how are they going to find a jury of her peers anyway? Shut down NASA for the duration of the trial? Anyway...this line of mental reasoning (mine by the way...purely mine...nothing verified) got me thinking: Doesn't NASA routinely kinda "screen" their workers, especially astronauts, for mental stability? Face it, they don't exactly want someone to go all wackadoo upon reentry or docking to some 200 billion dollar space doohickey. And NASA should have known about the commotion at her house leading up to the demise of her marriage, and I quote from the AP article written by Mike Schneider: "In November, a neighbor reported hearing the sounds of dishes being thrown inside Nowak's Houston-area home, and the police came. And weeks ago, Nowak and her husband separated after 19 years." Granted a neighbour just spouting off at the mouth to the press saying "Oh my yes...they were always yelling in there...I told my husband something was bound to happen...didn't I say that more than once, Harold? Harold? Harold, didn't I???" is quite different from the police being sent over and having it all nicely documented on some police blotter downtown. Shouldn't someone in some NASA capacity have said, "Ya know, let's maybe see if she is okay...maybe this whole divorce thing is really getting to her...let's get her in to see one of our psychologists...you know, just in case."
This is starting to make the movie, "Armageddon", seem a LITTLE bit more believable with each subsequent article I read...and that is sad.
I, as well, feel sad...very sad...not only for the woman, Shipman, whom Nowak is now charged with attempting to murder (in the first degree if I'm not mistaken...she did have those "things" in the car, after all...she went there all prepared)...because, no one should be stalked and then subsequently "done away with" because someone else thinks so...and thank goodness it didn't go that far...but also for Nowak's children. Losing a mother when the "inevitable time" comes is hard enough to take..."losing" one because of circumstances such as these, which were unquestionably preventable somehow (I don't claim to have all the answers here...I'm just saying someone should have gotten help for her, herself included) must be sheer torture. One minute your mom's on some space shuttle mission setting a role-model for all the little would-be female aeronautical engineers and astronauts out there, the next she's in jail for trying to off some woman...all for the love of some man...who, as far as we know, never professed any love for her. And, I feel sad for Nowak...a brilliant, challenging, and probably greatly rewarding career...gone. What I wouldn't give to have the brains to hold a NASA job...any of them (well, not janitor) - and she did. But with all that intelligence she didn't have sense enough to realize that no man was worth all this...and one thing shines clearer than any view from any window out in space: She definitely won't get him now.
These are the things soap operas are made of...or they will be by next week. Anyway...the alleged story goes that Nowak had something "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship" with Oefelein.
Here's my take on it all...and purely my take: In female terms, in a nutshell (no pun intended): Nowak wanted him to feel the same about her and return her affections and so far it just hadn't worked. So...what to do...what to do? With the breakdown of her 19-year marriage, which may or may not have been hurried along because of her unrequited feelings for Oefelein, who is unmarried, by the way...she probably felt she was at an impasse and HAD to do something or she would lose her man...whom she didn't have yet. But, by golly, evidenced by her reactions yesterday, she sure wanted him badly enough to not only scrap a job most people could only dream of...but also ruined any chance to remain a mother (she will, of course, remain their mother...but probably from a jail cell for a long while) to her twin 5-year-old girls and also her 14 or 15-year-old son. Now, I have two children...and I tell you...it would be a cold day in Hell before I put myself first...especially in this type of context...over my responsibility to be there for them as a mother. Ain't gonna happen.
But back to the story...Nowak is now released on bond, tethered to a monitoring device. Personally, I'd think she was pretty unstable and needed to go thru some mandatory court-ordered psychological work-up before sending her on her merry way. This woman is definitely NOT thinking correctly...I'm sure her lawyers and psychologists will come up with some fancy terminology to explain it all...let's see...hmmm...how about "Space Dementia"? "Yes, my client has been in space too long and the lack of oxygen has undoubtedly affected her brain. She never would have had these delusional thoughts otherwise." Can't you just see them force-feeding this line to a jury of her peers...which, seriously...how are they going to find a jury of her peers anyway? Shut down NASA for the duration of the trial? Anyway...this line of mental reasoning (mine by the way...purely mine...nothing verified) got me thinking: Doesn't NASA routinely kinda "screen" their workers, especially astronauts, for mental stability? Face it, they don't exactly want someone to go all wackadoo upon reentry or docking to some 200 billion dollar space doohickey. And NASA should have known about the commotion at her house leading up to the demise of her marriage, and I quote from the AP article written by Mike Schneider: "In November, a neighbor reported hearing the sounds of dishes being thrown inside Nowak's Houston-area home, and the police came. And weeks ago, Nowak and her husband separated after 19 years." Granted a neighbour just spouting off at the mouth to the press saying "Oh my yes...they were always yelling in there...I told my husband something was bound to happen...didn't I say that more than once, Harold? Harold? Harold, didn't I???" is quite different from the police being sent over and having it all nicely documented on some police blotter downtown. Shouldn't someone in some NASA capacity have said, "Ya know, let's maybe see if she is okay...maybe this whole divorce thing is really getting to her...let's get her in to see one of our psychologists...you know, just in case."
This is starting to make the movie, "Armageddon", seem a LITTLE bit more believable with each subsequent article I read...and that is sad.
I, as well, feel sad...very sad...not only for the woman, Shipman, whom Nowak is now charged with attempting to murder (in the first degree if I'm not mistaken...she did have those "things" in the car, after all...she went there all prepared)...because, no one should be stalked and then subsequently "done away with" because someone else thinks so...and thank goodness it didn't go that far...but also for Nowak's children. Losing a mother when the "inevitable time" comes is hard enough to take..."losing" one because of circumstances such as these, which were unquestionably preventable somehow (I don't claim to have all the answers here...I'm just saying someone should have gotten help for her, herself included) must be sheer torture. One minute your mom's on some space shuttle mission setting a role-model for all the little would-be female aeronautical engineers and astronauts out there, the next she's in jail for trying to off some woman...all for the love of some man...who, as far as we know, never professed any love for her. And, I feel sad for Nowak...a brilliant, challenging, and probably greatly rewarding career...gone. What I wouldn't give to have the brains to hold a NASA job...any of them (well, not janitor) - and she did. But with all that intelligence she didn't have sense enough to realize that no man was worth all this...and one thing shines clearer than any view from any window out in space: She definitely won't get him now.
01 February 2007
In Sickness and In Health
Well, my daughter has been out of school all week...she went to the doctor and they said (or so she thinks they said...I wasn't there so I'll ask my husband tomorrow) she has bronchitis...she is now taking antibiotics for whatever it is she has. So far we've all (my son and I) been spared getting anything this year - I have been getting flu shots since I've had my two, count them two, pleurodesis (or is that pleurodesi...or, as I like to make it when I pluralize it: pleurodesiseseses) lung operations (for my bizarre catamenial pneumothorax thingy)...and so far, they seem to have worked for me. Of course, since I've now mentioned it, I'll get sick.
Anyway, I've been a little lax on the blog lately and I wanted to let you know why - but I will try to type off my "gun blog" tomorrow - one that I did a little research about the other day and I'd like to finish it...so, regardless of how you stand on gun issues, you might want to give it a read.
Anyway, I've been a little lax on the blog lately and I wanted to let you know why - but I will try to type off my "gun blog" tomorrow - one that I did a little research about the other day and I'd like to finish it...so, regardless of how you stand on gun issues, you might want to give it a read.
24 January 2007
How Too Sweet It Is...For Me
The British are coming! The British are coming! Well, not really...but the first Dunkin' Donuts shop was indeed set up in Quincy, Massachusetts, which is literally a very short 'midnight ride' away from Boston...and they...not the British, but Dunkin' Donuts...has plans to 'invade' the South. And I, for one, am exceedingly glad.
Now I am well aware that Krispy Kreme Donuts has a stronghold here in the South...and incredibly sweet snacks seem to be the stuff that everyone runs on in this part of the USA. So, if you like your pecan pies saccharinely sweet and go 'ga-ga' over Little Debbie snack cakes, which have got to contain more sugar, parts per million, than pure cane sugar itself (personally, they make me go 'gag-gag')...well, then...who am I to judge? But, if you are like me and didn't grow up with that proverbial 'sugar-water IV drip' in your arm, you just don't know what it's like not to like your sweets...well, "overly sweet"...especially when you KNEW what it was like.
I'll be perfectly honest with you...a pint of ice-cream can and has been known to sit in my freezer for months - I didn't grow up with mandatory desserts after dinner...so I am really not in the habit of eating sweets. In fact it was very rare indeed for us to have cookies or ice-cream in the house...and pies were only consumed during Thanksgiving and Christmas when we visited my brother and his family. I remember drives to the beach a couple times a year where we'd stop at those soft-serve custard stands on the side of the road...what a treat! If you've never had real honest-to-goodness soft-serve custard you are definitely missing out and I haven't been able to find anything that even comes close, and not for lack of trying. But, as a child, I think everything is heightened in the memory of your senses...if you perceived it was bad, it was horrid...and if it was good...it was great! Dunkin' Donuts was no exception. Once in a while we would drive past one and then double back to get a dozen...and at ten-years-old, they were indeed the closest thing to fine French pastry I'd have ever tasted.
I don't know if you even had the commercials here...the "Time to make the donuts" guy, a Dunkin' Donuts baker who would have to get out of bed at the wee hours of the morning to start making those delicious delicacies...in fact, I believe Dunkin's deal was they made them fresh several times a day. And we're not talking just two kinds of doughnuts...we're talking 'kid in a candy store' here...and back when I was a kid (and even now)...choosing just 12 out of that vast array to go into the pack was akin to pure torture...no one human being should really be able to dole out that type of 'punishment' upon another.
So, when I read an article online at USA Today a few months ago stating Dunkin' Donuts was going to take those reins and head down south and possibly into my neck of the woods, I was in sheer bliss. Getting a doughnut that isn't sickeningly sweet in this town? One with taste...well, you know...besides 'sugar-flavoured'? One that, if you don't eat it within minutes out of the oven, doesn't turn into a sugar-glazed wad of cardboard? Oh, please tell me it might happen...please tell me it WILL happen. Please tell me that people here in the Montgomery area will give them a chance like they've done with Starbucks and Panera Bread...and, unfortunately, for us non-sweetophiles, the all too obvious, Krispy Kreme.
Now I am well aware that Krispy Kreme Donuts has a stronghold here in the South...and incredibly sweet snacks seem to be the stuff that everyone runs on in this part of the USA. So, if you like your pecan pies saccharinely sweet and go 'ga-ga' over Little Debbie snack cakes, which have got to contain more sugar, parts per million, than pure cane sugar itself (personally, they make me go 'gag-gag')...well, then...who am I to judge? But, if you are like me and didn't grow up with that proverbial 'sugar-water IV drip' in your arm, you just don't know what it's like not to like your sweets...well, "overly sweet"...especially when you KNEW what it was like.
I'll be perfectly honest with you...a pint of ice-cream can and has been known to sit in my freezer for months - I didn't grow up with mandatory desserts after dinner...so I am really not in the habit of eating sweets. In fact it was very rare indeed for us to have cookies or ice-cream in the house...and pies were only consumed during Thanksgiving and Christmas when we visited my brother and his family. I remember drives to the beach a couple times a year where we'd stop at those soft-serve custard stands on the side of the road...what a treat! If you've never had real honest-to-goodness soft-serve custard you are definitely missing out and I haven't been able to find anything that even comes close, and not for lack of trying. But, as a child, I think everything is heightened in the memory of your senses...if you perceived it was bad, it was horrid...and if it was good...it was great! Dunkin' Donuts was no exception. Once in a while we would drive past one and then double back to get a dozen...and at ten-years-old, they were indeed the closest thing to fine French pastry I'd have ever tasted.
I don't know if you even had the commercials here...the "Time to make the donuts" guy, a Dunkin' Donuts baker who would have to get out of bed at the wee hours of the morning to start making those delicious delicacies...in fact, I believe Dunkin's deal was they made them fresh several times a day. And we're not talking just two kinds of doughnuts...we're talking 'kid in a candy store' here...and back when I was a kid (and even now)...choosing just 12 out of that vast array to go into the pack was akin to pure torture...no one human being should really be able to dole out that type of 'punishment' upon another.
So, when I read an article online at USA Today a few months ago stating Dunkin' Donuts was going to take those reins and head down south and possibly into my neck of the woods, I was in sheer bliss. Getting a doughnut that isn't sickeningly sweet in this town? One with taste...well, you know...besides 'sugar-flavoured'? One that, if you don't eat it within minutes out of the oven, doesn't turn into a sugar-glazed wad of cardboard? Oh, please tell me it might happen...please tell me it WILL happen. Please tell me that people here in the Montgomery area will give them a chance like they've done with Starbucks and Panera Bread...and, unfortunately, for us non-sweetophiles, the all too obvious, Krispy Kreme.
20 January 2007
The Last of the Comet
Well, the comet has come and gone and I didn't get to see anything due to it being hidden beneath days and nights of cloud cover...not that I would have stood out there braving 40 degree temperatures mind you...yes, we displaced New Jerseyites are the worst. Forty degrees in January in Jersey means we put on a long-sleeved shirt and take the coat off...get out our etiquette manuals (hey, New Jersey has ONE...we share it) and see when we can wear white again. But I've lived here for 17 years...now forty degrees means I am NOT going outside unless it's worth my while...and since it only snows in Los Angeles and not in Wetumpka this time of year...I have nothing to go outside to see...especially since the comet won that game of hide-and-seek with me...unfortunately.
And for those of you who were wondering: This now concludes our "comet trilogy"...we shall return to our regularly scheduled blogtalk any day now.
And for those of you who were wondering: This now concludes our "comet trilogy"...we shall return to our regularly scheduled blogtalk any day now.
13 January 2007
Waiting For McNaught
I can't believe my ears...or eyes. I haven't heard or read word one about Comet McNaught here yet...and it's going to be gone in a flash. I even checked out the W.A. Gayle Planetarium site...and other than needing to be updated (c'mon, there has to be a bunch of amateur astronomers in the Montgomery area who can contribute some dialogue to this waning site)...there's only one photo displaying the comet (hiding under "Picture of the Day")...and just a tiny tidbit talking about it.
Well, I've been talking about it for some time...in fact, that's one of the reasons I bought my children the telescope...because of this...and, of course, to see all the other interesting night sky stuff. So, I have my "find it in the sky" program that is very nifty indeed...in fact we sped it up to the year 3000 today just for the fun of it. Anyway, it shows you where things are in your area...and I asked a neighbour if I could camp out on his lawn as they have a magnificent panoramic view of the evening sky. The comet is supposed to show up right near where the sun sets...only, as luck would have it, it was obscured by clouds tonight...or so I'm hoping. I'd much rather cloud-cover be the case than the alternative: Simply cannot been seen in our night sky. I admit we didn't try with the telescope...I was hoping it would be as bright as Comet Hale-Bopp was in 1997...that one was utterly amazing to me...and the first and only one I've seen. I'm hoping to see another.
So, I will steadfastly try again tomorrow and attempt to see it...perhaps we will bring the telescope on over to his overlook...after all, even if it's all for McNaught (bad pun intended)...there's still a whole lot of other celestial viewing material to pick from.
So, get out there before it's gone...and see it, too...and tell a friend or two...the astronomers are saying it's the best comet to come along in 30 years...don't let it pass you by.
Well, I've been talking about it for some time...in fact, that's one of the reasons I bought my children the telescope...because of this...and, of course, to see all the other interesting night sky stuff. So, I have my "find it in the sky" program that is very nifty indeed...in fact we sped it up to the year 3000 today just for the fun of it. Anyway, it shows you where things are in your area...and I asked a neighbour if I could camp out on his lawn as they have a magnificent panoramic view of the evening sky. The comet is supposed to show up right near where the sun sets...only, as luck would have it, it was obscured by clouds tonight...or so I'm hoping. I'd much rather cloud-cover be the case than the alternative: Simply cannot been seen in our night sky. I admit we didn't try with the telescope...I was hoping it would be as bright as Comet Hale-Bopp was in 1997...that one was utterly amazing to me...and the first and only one I've seen. I'm hoping to see another.
So, I will steadfastly try again tomorrow and attempt to see it...perhaps we will bring the telescope on over to his overlook...after all, even if it's all for McNaught (bad pun intended)...there's still a whole lot of other celestial viewing material to pick from.
So, get out there before it's gone...and see it, too...and tell a friend or two...the astronomers are saying it's the best comet to come along in 30 years...don't let it pass you by.
07 January 2007
Tele...scoping Out the Skies
Be it ever so Hubble...there's no place like home. Okay, so it's not the Hubble...but we did get a huge telescope the other day...a late Christmas present for my kids. Okay..I confess...it was for me as well...I've always been fond of space things. Space things, Greek myths and dinosaurs to be exact...but I digress once again.
Now I've seen enough space documentaries to know that there are certain things I just couldn't wait to see "in person"...and I'd been waiting in anticipation to see Saturn for some time. And time is what it took for me to locate it...even with skymaps and a stargazing CD program at my disposal. But what a literal high it was to see...in all its resplendent glory...rings and all...just like, well, just like in those documentaries. Altho I have to admit it did look fake...it looked like a drawing...one of those "NASA animation" things you've probably seen on television. And I had to sit and wonder just how incredible it must have been for the first person to find that thing...there amongst the multitude of white dots on the sky like so many polka dots on a sundress...each one looking exactly like the other...and then to realize it wasn't.
So I've deduced a couple things: Spying into the night sky and locating a pinpoint object, even with an 8" scope isn't as easy as it sounds...and darnit, even when you do hone in on it, thirty seconds later it's out of view and you have to find it all over again. It's rather odd to realize that we actually zoom thru the sky that quickly. Oh, sure, I could have gotten the "go to" telescope where you hit a few buttons and it will automatically go and "fetch" what you tell it to, but first off I thought that was "cheating", secondly, it rather costs a bunch more.
Altho I do fear that my ability to find a nifty nebula or a glistening galaxy is akin to looking for a needle in the proverbial cosmic debris haystack, I also believe the more I stick to it and learn what's out there and where, the easier it will become. I'm kinda banking on that, so please, please don't tell me this is totally futile...yes, you can snicker at me from afar, like so many of those twinkling spots of light out there. But for now I will be content to lug my 50 pound black tube outside of my home and scour the night sky like a celestial detective hoping to capture the elusive culprit...and to get some dirt on them...even if that dirt happens to reside literally light years away from me.
Now I've seen enough space documentaries to know that there are certain things I just couldn't wait to see "in person"...and I'd been waiting in anticipation to see Saturn for some time. And time is what it took for me to locate it...even with skymaps and a stargazing CD program at my disposal. But what a literal high it was to see...in all its resplendent glory...rings and all...just like, well, just like in those documentaries. Altho I have to admit it did look fake...it looked like a drawing...one of those "NASA animation" things you've probably seen on television. And I had to sit and wonder just how incredible it must have been for the first person to find that thing...there amongst the multitude of white dots on the sky like so many polka dots on a sundress...each one looking exactly like the other...and then to realize it wasn't.
So I've deduced a couple things: Spying into the night sky and locating a pinpoint object, even with an 8" scope isn't as easy as it sounds...and darnit, even when you do hone in on it, thirty seconds later it's out of view and you have to find it all over again. It's rather odd to realize that we actually zoom thru the sky that quickly. Oh, sure, I could have gotten the "go to" telescope where you hit a few buttons and it will automatically go and "fetch" what you tell it to, but first off I thought that was "cheating", secondly, it rather costs a bunch more.
Altho I do fear that my ability to find a nifty nebula or a glistening galaxy is akin to looking for a needle in the proverbial cosmic debris haystack, I also believe the more I stick to it and learn what's out there and where, the easier it will become. I'm kinda banking on that, so please, please don't tell me this is totally futile...yes, you can snicker at me from afar, like so many of those twinkling spots of light out there. But for now I will be content to lug my 50 pound black tube outside of my home and scour the night sky like a celestial detective hoping to capture the elusive culprit...and to get some dirt on them...even if that dirt happens to reside literally light years away from me.
29 December 2006
Out With The Old...In With The New
I was going to label this blog "Top Ten Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die"...but as I own/run an online comedy website...here comes my "shameless plug" for my site, www.HumorMeOnline.com, as Kyra Phillips (of CNN "microphone left on talking about Bush and her sister-in-law whilst in the bathroom" fame) once called it when she interviewed me after I won the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in 2003...I would only attempt to make them "funny" and "somewhat amusing" for your benefit. (Talk about being able to shamelessly plug so much in so little space.) So...I won't do that blog...well...just yet. But I will elaborate about one of the items that would be on that list somewhere: I would LOVE to go to a gala-terrific-type New Year's Eve party.
Oh, I'm not talking about a few friends over to the house or vice-versa...I'm talking one of those types of shindigs that could have cameras panning in on uber-rich Paris Hilton-dressed "girl-women" as they gyrate around the dance floor with silly grins on their faces after having way too much champagne poured down their Harry Winston-adorned throats. That kinda party. A full-blown "could have has-been singers like David Lee Roth and The Captain and Tennille singing there" celebration. Okay...the more I think about that scenario...the more I'd opt for some unknown cover band instead. I do want to drink, after all...but I'd rather not get sick.
Why? Why would I want to go out and get all dressed up and festive-like and hang with people I'll never talk to again in my entire life? Because I haven't done it. That...and the fact I'm an extremely social person. I'd have parties and host dinners every weekend at my house if I could afford it...I could single-handedly keep the conversation going if I had to and I can cook remarkably fantastic if I do say so myself (and I am). Here's where I could say a bunch of stuff about my eventually to be ex-husband being just the opposite of me...but I won't. I'll just casually mention that the next time (if I ever get remarried)...well, I'm going to get all gussied up and taken to a New Year's Eve party...and ya know what?
Maybe, just maybe...I'll despise it! ;)
Oh, I'm not talking about a few friends over to the house or vice-versa...I'm talking one of those types of shindigs that could have cameras panning in on uber-rich Paris Hilton-dressed "girl-women" as they gyrate around the dance floor with silly grins on their faces after having way too much champagne poured down their Harry Winston-adorned throats. That kinda party. A full-blown "could have has-been singers like David Lee Roth and The Captain and Tennille singing there" celebration. Okay...the more I think about that scenario...the more I'd opt for some unknown cover band instead. I do want to drink, after all...but I'd rather not get sick.
Why? Why would I want to go out and get all dressed up and festive-like and hang with people I'll never talk to again in my entire life? Because I haven't done it. That...and the fact I'm an extremely social person. I'd have parties and host dinners every weekend at my house if I could afford it...I could single-handedly keep the conversation going if I had to and I can cook remarkably fantastic if I do say so myself (and I am). Here's where I could say a bunch of stuff about my eventually to be ex-husband being just the opposite of me...but I won't. I'll just casually mention that the next time (if I ever get remarried)...well, I'm going to get all gussied up and taken to a New Year's Eve party...and ya know what?
Maybe, just maybe...I'll despise it! ;)
25 December 2006
Holiday Wishes
I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish each of you out there who take the time to read this blog, "Merry Christmas" (and a belated "Happy Hanukkah"). I hope each of you are enjoying this day with your family and are having a wonderful time...but I know that this is not always the case...we don't live in an "Ozzie and Harriet" world and bad things happen and depression sometimes prevails during the holidays. To those people, especially, I would like to wish them serenity and guidance...and honestly hope they find a gladness to replace their sadness.
Happy Holidays...and happiness to everyone!
Mariann
Happy Holidays...and happiness to everyone!
Mariann
20 December 2006
The Way Too Many Gifts of Christmas
Gone are the days when I knew what to buy everyone for Christmas. Christmas isn't special to me anymore...at least the gift-giving part, and it seems that everyone I run across shares my same feelings. Let me elucidate...
I was speaking to a man who works in the vegetable/fruit section of a grocery store I frequent (for the purpose of not getting anyone into trouble...I'm not naming which) the other day...and for the sake of this story he shall be named "Pete". "Pete" pointed out that a little package of what appeared to once be mushrooms, had fallen underneath this draining table they use to collect the water into when the ice melts. He picked up the package and commented that it had been there a couple days...but he was interested in seeing if anyone else would attend to it. They didn't...so he reluctantly got on with the job himself...commenting that people, and especially kids, aren't usually interested in going out of their way to do little things like that without being told...really just a lack of motivation...yet they expect so much to be given in return. I went to the deli counter and bought some prosciutto...and I apologized beforehand for her to drag the whole leg out just to give me a taste (sometimes it's very salty and not so great tasting...sometimes it's fabulous). She gave me my taste and I opted for 1/4 pound of it...sliced very, very thinly...I didn't have the heart to make her stand there for 30 minutes cranking out 47 little slices each separated by a sheet of plastic so you can "unstick" them readily later on...and I told her this. I told her I wouldn't eat all of it as I was the only one in the family who eats it and the other 1/4 pound would undoubtedly go to the cats eventually. Lucky cats...that stuff's 'tres expensive'. The other deli lady who was there overheard our conversation and remarked about having to cut two pounds the other day for some woman...but super-incredibly thinly sliced...and didn't even get so much as a "thank you" out of the deal. What IS wrong with people?? I believe they think they alone count. Someone else will pick up that nasty mushroom package...you are just a deli worker...you work for the store...that's your job...I don't need to be pleasant with you...you are here to serve ME. Well, my friends...that mentality sucks...and I see more and more of it...oh, yes, I'm a great observer of humankind.
I think this "selfish motivation" might indirectly have its origins in Christmas and for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas...these same "me-tovated" acts still manage to find ways to manifest themselves. Now, I'm not saying everyone is this way...not at all...please don't send me hate mail...but the trend toward Christmas just being a day of obligation...and irrational expectation, is prevalent...in fact it's rampant.
Segue back to "Pete"...our conversation started about that leftover yucky, waterlogged pack but then mushroomed into one of ungrateful people in general and Christmas when we were kids vs Christmas today. I told him that I remember never getting any presents throughout the year...that Christmas was a real special event to look forward to as a kid...but my parents hardly went overboard...the gift I remember the most was a purple Schwinn bicycle with a silver glitter banana seat and those sparkly tassel things in silver and purple that would hang from the hole in the handlebar grips. Oh...that was some Christmas that year. He recollected a similar tale...his best Christmas was also a bike...and a bike he had for many, many years...there was no new bike for next Christmas...when we received bikes...they were there for the long ride. People today seem to give their kids "things" all year long. I know I'm guilty of it...perhaps it came from my never getting things thru the year...perhaps my kids are better at persuading me...perhaps it seems like I am obligated to as it's "the norm". When my kids open their gifts at Christmas they aren't overjoyed...it's just another day of "getting something"...only this time it has some paper and a bow on it. It's just not magical...it's just not special...and most times they know exactly what's inside. They have to...toys being as expensive as they are...you have to know ahead of time which colour Gameboy to buy...which colour controller they need for their machine...which games they want...because at $50 a pop...you can't afford to have one NOT played with. Pete nodded his head in agreement and spoke his like comments about it all as if it were dialogue we were reading...all scripted...Pete is a watcher of humankind, too.
We both can't tell you how many times we've actually heard this one..."My kid got 10 presents last year...he asked how many he was getting THIS year."...or "I got my kid $500, $1000, $2000+ worth of stuff last year...I don't know how I'm going to swing it beating that figure this Christmas". Now, what is wrong with your child being satisfied with what you give him? Why do you feel you have to one-upmanship yourself the following year? How are you going to manage it all as your child is only 5-years-old...what happens when he's 15?! I don't know exactly what will happen, but I'll tell you what MIGHT happen...he just might turn into that kid who won't pick up the icky mushroom pack because someone else can do it...or that lady who thinks that everyone is less deserving than herself...her possessions prove it.
I'll share a little story about my online friend who goes to college in Georgia. We've known each other for ages and talk pretty much every day even tho, as you guessed it, my age is a hair under twice his. He is a Wii-fanatic...he's been waiting for that thing to come out more days it seems than the company did. The links I had to endure over these months...I tell you! (Yes, I inserted that line strictly for his "enjoyment".) ;) He had a birthday not too long ago and was, as you can well imagine, disappointed that he didn't get one. Oh...it was a done deal...it's just that there are only so many and so many more people in line ahead of you. Well, he hit pay-dirt the other day and after waiting in line for about eight hours...managed to walk out triumphantly with a Wii in hand...even being accosted by someone in the parking lot offering him twice the going price if he'd part with it. Trust me...I know this guy...I don't think he would have parted with it for ten times the amount. Well...I don't know for certain...I'd have to ask, but I know I would have...even IF it would have been for my kids.
So...remember those of you who try to "buy off people" in 'Best Buy' parking lots, and push people aside at the sales the day after Thanksgiving, and show absolutely no good will toward men when you're trampling over people to get that last item...there's always AFTER Christmas, and after all...it's just another day...only with the paper and bows...even if it really shouldn't be. "Maybe Christmas", as the Grinch even came to realize..."doesn't come from a store. "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
I was speaking to a man who works in the vegetable/fruit section of a grocery store I frequent (for the purpose of not getting anyone into trouble...I'm not naming which) the other day...and for the sake of this story he shall be named "Pete". "Pete" pointed out that a little package of what appeared to once be mushrooms, had fallen underneath this draining table they use to collect the water into when the ice melts. He picked up the package and commented that it had been there a couple days...but he was interested in seeing if anyone else would attend to it. They didn't...so he reluctantly got on with the job himself...commenting that people, and especially kids, aren't usually interested in going out of their way to do little things like that without being told...really just a lack of motivation...yet they expect so much to be given in return. I went to the deli counter and bought some prosciutto...and I apologized beforehand for her to drag the whole leg out just to give me a taste (sometimes it's very salty and not so great tasting...sometimes it's fabulous). She gave me my taste and I opted for 1/4 pound of it...sliced very, very thinly...I didn't have the heart to make her stand there for 30 minutes cranking out 47 little slices each separated by a sheet of plastic so you can "unstick" them readily later on...and I told her this. I told her I wouldn't eat all of it as I was the only one in the family who eats it and the other 1/4 pound would undoubtedly go to the cats eventually. Lucky cats...that stuff's 'tres expensive'. The other deli lady who was there overheard our conversation and remarked about having to cut two pounds the other day for some woman...but super-incredibly thinly sliced...and didn't even get so much as a "thank you" out of the deal. What IS wrong with people?? I believe they think they alone count. Someone else will pick up that nasty mushroom package...you are just a deli worker...you work for the store...that's your job...I don't need to be pleasant with you...you are here to serve ME. Well, my friends...that mentality sucks...and I see more and more of it...oh, yes, I'm a great observer of humankind.
I think this "selfish motivation" might indirectly have its origins in Christmas and for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas...these same "me-tovated" acts still manage to find ways to manifest themselves. Now, I'm not saying everyone is this way...not at all...please don't send me hate mail...but the trend toward Christmas just being a day of obligation...and irrational expectation, is prevalent...in fact it's rampant.
Segue back to "Pete"...our conversation started about that leftover yucky, waterlogged pack but then mushroomed into one of ungrateful people in general and Christmas when we were kids vs Christmas today. I told him that I remember never getting any presents throughout the year...that Christmas was a real special event to look forward to as a kid...but my parents hardly went overboard...the gift I remember the most was a purple Schwinn bicycle with a silver glitter banana seat and those sparkly tassel things in silver and purple that would hang from the hole in the handlebar grips. Oh...that was some Christmas that year. He recollected a similar tale...his best Christmas was also a bike...and a bike he had for many, many years...there was no new bike for next Christmas...when we received bikes...they were there for the long ride. People today seem to give their kids "things" all year long. I know I'm guilty of it...perhaps it came from my never getting things thru the year...perhaps my kids are better at persuading me...perhaps it seems like I am obligated to as it's "the norm". When my kids open their gifts at Christmas they aren't overjoyed...it's just another day of "getting something"...only this time it has some paper and a bow on it. It's just not magical...it's just not special...and most times they know exactly what's inside. They have to...toys being as expensive as they are...you have to know ahead of time which colour Gameboy to buy...which colour controller they need for their machine...which games they want...because at $50 a pop...you can't afford to have one NOT played with. Pete nodded his head in agreement and spoke his like comments about it all as if it were dialogue we were reading...all scripted...Pete is a watcher of humankind, too.
We both can't tell you how many times we've actually heard this one..."My kid got 10 presents last year...he asked how many he was getting THIS year."...or "I got my kid $500, $1000, $2000+ worth of stuff last year...I don't know how I'm going to swing it beating that figure this Christmas". Now, what is wrong with your child being satisfied with what you give him? Why do you feel you have to one-upmanship yourself the following year? How are you going to manage it all as your child is only 5-years-old...what happens when he's 15?! I don't know exactly what will happen, but I'll tell you what MIGHT happen...he just might turn into that kid who won't pick up the icky mushroom pack because someone else can do it...or that lady who thinks that everyone is less deserving than herself...her possessions prove it.
I'll share a little story about my online friend who goes to college in Georgia. We've known each other for ages and talk pretty much every day even tho, as you guessed it, my age is a hair under twice his. He is a Wii-fanatic...he's been waiting for that thing to come out more days it seems than the company did. The links I had to endure over these months...I tell you! (Yes, I inserted that line strictly for his "enjoyment".) ;) He had a birthday not too long ago and was, as you can well imagine, disappointed that he didn't get one. Oh...it was a done deal...it's just that there are only so many and so many more people in line ahead of you. Well, he hit pay-dirt the other day and after waiting in line for about eight hours...managed to walk out triumphantly with a Wii in hand...even being accosted by someone in the parking lot offering him twice the going price if he'd part with it. Trust me...I know this guy...I don't think he would have parted with it for ten times the amount. Well...I don't know for certain...I'd have to ask, but I know I would have...even IF it would have been for my kids.
So...remember those of you who try to "buy off people" in 'Best Buy' parking lots, and push people aside at the sales the day after Thanksgiving, and show absolutely no good will toward men when you're trampling over people to get that last item...there's always AFTER Christmas, and after all...it's just another day...only with the paper and bows...even if it really shouldn't be. "Maybe Christmas", as the Grinch even came to realize..."doesn't come from a store. "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
15 December 2006
Happy Birthday to Me!
Well, it's my birthday today...so I'm going to sit back with my birthday Grey Goose Martini and try to make the most of the remains of the day.
I'll write a whiney little blog tomorrow...I have several in my head that aren't whiney...but I think I'll just do it and be done with it and then I can move on. Everyone likes to read stories about people who are more miserable than themselves anyway...if they didn't, soap operas never would have caught on...so I'd be doing nearly everyone a service. ;)
Until then...cheers!
I'll write a whiney little blog tomorrow...I have several in my head that aren't whiney...but I think I'll just do it and be done with it and then I can move on. Everyone likes to read stories about people who are more miserable than themselves anyway...if they didn't, soap operas never would have caught on...so I'd be doing nearly everyone a service. ;)
Until then...cheers!
09 December 2006
Bubblefest 2006
Saint Bede's science lab "blew up" yesterday and everyone was happy about it. No, it wasn't a science experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong -- just the opposite in fact. Members of the school's award winning 4-6th grade Science Olympiad Team showcased their bubble engineering skills to the younger students in Saint Bede's third annual "Bubblefest".
Employing such everyday objects as straws, strings and a hula hoop, they dazzled and delighted the preschool through first grade children and their teachers alike. From blowing a bubble inside another bubble to being encased inside one themselves, the children were both entertained and educated at each of the seven event stations.
One by one the succession of classes filed in, and with each advancing age group, their interest and interaction changed. From the quiet reluctance of the preschoolers to "step into the bubble pool" to the hands-on exuberance of the first grade classes witnessing "frozen" bubbles, one could discern a building fascination and comprehension of what was being shown them. But one thing typically remained the same -- I posed a question to many of the students, "How often do you get to make bubbles on your table at home?" Six-year-old Annie Bach replied, "Ummm...never." That general sentiment was shared over and over.
Since it's inception, sixth-grade teacher Nicholas Bourke noticed something that has stayed constant as well...how excited everyone always get when a "Bubblefest" date is finally chosen, and how for weeks they anxiously look forward to the presentation. He further stated, "The 4-6th graders take such pride in what they are teaching the younger children who, in the end, take away how much fun it all was. If they don't realize how much fun science is at this age, they probably won't go into science-related fields in the future."
So, while most of the students came away today never knowing that dry ice is frozen carbon dioxide or that the nifty "cube within a cube" bubble they made was technically a tesseract hypercube, they did leave with a renewed outlook on bubbles and perhaps learning in general. I believe sixth grade Science Olympiad Team member, Conner Preston, summed up it up best when asked what he enjoyed most from this experience, "The best thing of all of this were the smiles of the kids."
Employing such everyday objects as straws, strings and a hula hoop, they dazzled and delighted the preschool through first grade children and their teachers alike. From blowing a bubble inside another bubble to being encased inside one themselves, the children were both entertained and educated at each of the seven event stations.
One by one the succession of classes filed in, and with each advancing age group, their interest and interaction changed. From the quiet reluctance of the preschoolers to "step into the bubble pool" to the hands-on exuberance of the first grade classes witnessing "frozen" bubbles, one could discern a building fascination and comprehension of what was being shown them. But one thing typically remained the same -- I posed a question to many of the students, "How often do you get to make bubbles on your table at home?" Six-year-old Annie Bach replied, "Ummm...never." That general sentiment was shared over and over.
Since it's inception, sixth-grade teacher Nicholas Bourke noticed something that has stayed constant as well...how excited everyone always get when a "Bubblefest" date is finally chosen, and how for weeks they anxiously look forward to the presentation. He further stated, "The 4-6th graders take such pride in what they are teaching the younger children who, in the end, take away how much fun it all was. If they don't realize how much fun science is at this age, they probably won't go into science-related fields in the future."
So, while most of the students came away today never knowing that dry ice is frozen carbon dioxide or that the nifty "cube within a cube" bubble they made was technically a tesseract hypercube, they did leave with a renewed outlook on bubbles and perhaps learning in general. I believe sixth grade Science Olympiad Team member, Conner Preston, summed up it up best when asked what he enjoyed most from this experience, "The best thing of all of this were the smiles of the kids."
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