A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

06 March 2007

Consider if you will...

Here are some things that I've pondered the last few days...aka "filler as I haven't done a few blogs I've wanted to do, but this stuff was in my head already and I wanted to say it before it popped back out"...

Bullet statements: You'd figure by now they'd rename them something far less controversial, especially since students sometimes use them when they do their reports..."Sorry ma'am, couldn't do my term paper...that zero tolerance rule you know."

Flashlights vs batteries for said flashlights: I have a few flashlights...okay, I'll be honest, I have a whole slew of flashlights and wouldn't you know it, they all are dead or pretty much well on their way. So, I remembered to buy some batteries for them yesterday...C, D and those huge 6-volt-sized ones. As I was paying for them the cashier remarked to me that it would be cheaper to just buy new flashlights that come with the battery already. It's true. I bought a few on sale (batteries included) about two years ago, and they were indeed cheaper than just the batteries alone...and their cheap batteries last much longer than the primo ones. Next time I'm just buying new flashlights.

Why don't those "Good Housekeeping" and "Reader's Digest" magazines ever print any articles where the person doesn't come close to dying or some other equally life-altering dire situation? A nice "feel good" story for a change, like "I am Bob's Liver and Nothing's Wrong With Me At All Even Tho Between You and Me, the Man Drinks Like a Fish!"...something to make you go "Well, there ya go Martha...Bob drinks like a fish and his innards are fine...now go on and make me that 7th Scotch and Soda!". I was in the doctor's office the other day and read an entire "Good Housekeeping" magazine (yes, I waited that long)...one article was about a teenager who had been at football practice, hurt his knee, then two days later his parents were told by the doctors "if you have anything you want to tell him...you best do it now" because he had gotten a clot in his leg, pieces were breaking off and lodging in his lungs and he was getting septic as well. Altho he pulled thru, it just seemed so overly terrifying. Every time my kids have a bruise from this point on, I will be going into hyper-panic mode. Another article was about how this woman nearly died on board some cruise ship (or should I say "off" board) because after she slipped and hurt her arm...the cruise line told her to seek treatment when they docked. The foreign doctors in some "much less than sanitary" medical facility where they were wanted her to sign some paperwork to allow them to amputate some limbs...she and her husband refused and this "hospital" wouldn't let them "check out" until they paid a $1900 (or some figure) bill. Another cruise line's shipboard doctor gave injection after injection of blood thinner to some man he figured was having a heart attack. The passenger and his wife kept saying he had problems "exactly like this" with indigestion before...but no...the doctor refused to buy into their "expertise", relied on his own...even deciding to defibrillate him as well, thereby damaging this poor man's perfectly normal heart. Turned out one of the EKG leads was disconnected and the doctor thought he flatlined because he passed out from all the blood thinner medicine. Then they had the audacity to tell this couple to disembark the ship permanently as his "newly acquired medical condition" was jeopardizing the enjoyment of the other passengers. So...now I guess I'll never take a cruise either. Not that I was planning to...you see, you need money to do that kinda thing...which brings me to my last observation...

I've been trying, unsuccessfully mind you, to find a job here in Montgomery...for oh, about a year now. I have a brain, I have SOME skills...at least I'd like to think so...but the facts are that I've been a stay-at-home Mom for nearly 20 years and I don't have a college degree...no one will even call me in to do an interview...bottom line is they assume I can't function...or perhaps I don't need to function as I've been "not functioning" for the past 20 years and doing just fine in their eyes. I look at the want ads all the time and the majority of people it seems don't make a whole heck of a lot of money in this town...I know I'd probably jump for joy if I made a "whopping" $7.50+ an hour. But the thing that amazes me is how many people are driving really nice cars...new cars...or relatively new cars...and they all can't be making $30+ an hour. Everyone I talk to doesn't even come close to that, so how can they all afford these car payments, cellphones (oh, you know each one driving is talking on one), houses or apartments, clothes, utilities AND food...and that's not even taking gas and car insurance into consideration. And I know for a fact not everyone is married pulling in double income dollars. I'd really like to know their secret...please, if you know it, let me know...until then I'll be writing my highly anticipated "feel good" article for Reader's Digest, "How Mariann Found a Job By Complaining About Not Having One In Her Blog".


  1. Good luck with the job hunt. I have been a mostly stay at home mom with stints as a social worker and a county human services worker in other states, and like you, it's been hard to get a job here even with a college degree. If you could get something, even a less desirable job, maybe you could make it into more once the employer sees your talents and skills.

  2. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Sheila...I honestly appreciate your well wishes and "job hunting" suggestion.

    Yes, I have been applying to those (less than "dream job") places as well...but, unfortunately, I believe they won't give me a shot based on the fact that I've been out of the job market for so long. IF I were able to talk to them face-to-face, I'm sure many of them would change their minds...but getting IN to be interviewed hasn't even panned out yet. And without some type of contact/introduction I fear it will be a long haul...and I'm not getting any younger. Sigh...

    Perhaps I should start up a "network" system for women who were stay-at-home moms for years who are experiencing the same things we have...I've met others with similiar situations as well, so I believe it would have a niche and we have a definite NEED for it in today's society. I should look into that...seriously.