A Bit About Me

My photo
Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

07 February 2012

What the Dickens?

When I was a young, whenever I got slightly out of hand, my mother would say, "Oh, you little Dickens, you!" Now, I still have no inkling where that phrase originated...I'd like to think it has something to do with the unruly children in Dickens' novels...but a search on Google will probably ruin it for me...so I'll remain none the wiser and keep the mystery going.

Another mystery to me, is why, on the 30th of January, I started posting up my versions of Dickensian Facebook update statuses. Certainly it had something to do with the fact I finally got around to watching "Great Expectations" (the 1946 version) a day or two earlier. But, truth be told, I did have this film recorded for about six months, so it wasn't like it was "Dickens Week" on the TCM channel or anything.

I must say, however, that I could not have timed it any better...because today just so happens to be the 200th birthday of Charles Dickens.

The premise for most of this is self-explanatory...but, in case it's not...I basically updated my Facebook status...but with a twist (pun intended): I "penned" them in the manner of what I envisioned Dickens' characters would say...if they were thrust into today's society...and doing their own Facebook updates. Hopefully you will find some of them mildly amusing...and if not...well, a solemn egad to you, sir!

It all started late the evening of January 30th...and into the early morning of the 31st...and yes, I try to be silly on purpose on Facebook. To me, everything on Facebook is just fodder for a writing gig for a future comedy show...the key is timing it right so someone sees it and is willing to hire me. Unfortunately, I haven't yet found that key. Anyway...I was in a silly mood and it started like this. (Be forewarned, these are only my comments...I removed everyone else's...to respect their "privacy". Oh, yeah, right...they are ON Facebook...there is NO SUCH THING as privacy anymore. By the way, I left typos in...it lends an air of authenticity that way.)

Wondering about the lost works of Dickens...like "A Christmas Bob", "A Christmas Ted", and "A Christmas Alice".

I was thinking that I should start doing Dickens type books. I mean it's about time someone does that again. I have to put dandy guys in it and foppish rogues. Is that okay to do or just too old a concept?

(Removed comments here.)

"Lines in my proposed new Dickensonian novel:

"I dare say, Mr. Slipwort, your buttocks peering out like a timid doormouse owing to the fact your trousers are lower than your waistcoat...is more than mildly arousing to a young man of my demeanour."

(More removed comments here.)

"ROFL Nothing actually. I watched "Great Expectations" last nite and thought how we really should talk more like that. It would really make people just stare."

(Yep...comments...yadda yadda...)

"You come to me, lad, with the countenance of someone much more refined than yourself and with some reservation, attempt to beg my forgiveness for indiscretions heretofore dispensed...and ask for more text minutes? A solemn egad to you, sir."

(This is where someone stated they were going to use "A solemn egad to you, sir" in their conversations the next day. I was, needless to say, honoured.)

(Then it kinda morphed from Dickens to Shakespeare.)

"It is with some foreboding that an item of particular interest was shown to me under the guise of a fictitious nom de plume...and interspersed among a certain morally corrupt group gathered in society known to assist in the dissemination of such correspondence with the words "I am soooo stealing this!" attached and then, with a click, dispatched thusly."

But...I'm still wondering why the whole thing surfaced in my head right before his 200th birthday. I'd like to think it's some type of a good sign...perhaps I'm actually channeling Dickens? (And not in the TCM kind of way.)

Okay, so maybe it's not up to par with the last thing he ever wrote...but he's been out of practice, so cut him a break.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Dickens...gone, but certainly never to be forgotten.


  1. "Christmas Bob, Christmas Ted, Christmas Alice . . . "

    Ba DUMP bump.


  2. Good Lord. I don't know why I haven't stopped by before this, but I know I'm sorry I hadn't. This was way funny. Really good stuff.

  3. Thank you, Sully. I'm fearing I've lost my writing ability so I don't write much anymore. My older (much older) stuff is better (I think).