A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

25 December 2008

Fig Theory

300ml (½ pint) Milk
225g (8oz) Flour
175g (6oz) Dried Figs
150ml (¼ pint) Brandy
110g (4oz) Suet
110g (4oz) Prunes
85g (3oz) Raisins or Sultanas
50g (2oz) Dried Apricots
50g (2oz) Dates
25g (1oz) Dried Apples
1 tbsp Honey
¼ tsp Ginger
¼ tsp Cinnamon

Those are the ingredients for Figgy Pudding - as written by "The Foody" - a website from the UK and Ireland (the rest of the recipe can be found here:
http://thefoody.com/pudding/figgypudding.html . I figured if anyone knew how to make Figgy Pudding, they should know. I discounted all those Americanized versions of it and settled on a "traditional" one from across the pond.

But why am I even bothering listing a recipe for Figgy Pudding you might be asking yourself about now. I have to admit the song, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" got me to thinking that something MUST be in it for the people to be demanding it so.

According to what is out there in Internet-land, the song was written by an unknown person back in England in the 16th century. That is quite a while ago...and throws a slight curve into my theory as to why these people weren't going to leave until they had some Figgy Pudding.

You'd figure people back then would have been more polite than to demand someone dole out some dessert or they were going to basically hang around like the in-laws who came to stay. I mean, these were the same people who produced the likes of "Please, sir, can I have some more?" That's a far cry from "...and bring it right now!"

Something keeps making me think these people had a pretty bad case of the munchies...but what drug could have induced them? My first thought was perhaps there was a little bit more than figs fermenting in that pudding...perhaps they were drinking something to wash it down their throats. They did do a whole lot of "wassailing" back then. But would throwing back a cup of spiced hard cider be enough to get that demanding?

Nay...I think they needed something with a little more oomph. Perhaps they were all doped up on Laudanum? Sure, it didn't come into big fashion until the 1800s - but, I did a bit of research and it was indeed around in England in the 16th century.

Therefore my theory is that a bunch of hopped up on opium dopeheads were inciting all too much frivolity and being a tad demanding when it came to the sweetmeats.

So, the next time you are happily and blindly singing along lyrics to songs which have been around forever, most of which give credit to "Traditional" as their author, delve a little deeper into the lyrics and see if you can't develop a few theories of your own regarding their origin. You could even consider my newest Christmas song theory: "The Twelve Days of Christmas" aka One Person's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. See, isn't it fun? And we all know Christmas and family get-togethers bring out the best neuroses in everyone...and there certainly are lots of songs to go around.

And, lastly, chances are, if you want those pesky guests out of your house nowadays...serve them some Figgy Pudding. They'll probably opt to leave before they get some.

Merry Christmas to everyone! I wish only the best to each of you and your families...and may the joy the holidays bring remain with you throughout 2009.


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