A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

28 April 2007


I am not too sure I want to fly on an airline that is selling tickets for $10 each way. It's not the fact that they are cheap that I'm worried about, it's the fact Skybus is banking on recouping some of their losses by selling the sides of their planes for advertising space..."flying billboards" if you will.

Now, I don't know about you, but apart from taxiing down the runway, the only other place I want to get that close to read the outside of some plane is when I'm stepping in or out of it. Logically, it would have made more sense to me to hand out flyers when you boarded the plane rather than to expect people to spy a flying billboard at cruising altitude...or at least I hope so.

What real purpose does this serve? Who is going to think this is a great idea? Just HOW do they expect to get someone to plunk down thousands of dollars just to have a big logo painted on a plane? Let's take a look, shall we?

GoldenPalace.com: If they shelled out $10,000 to have some poor woman, who clearly wasn't thinking straight at the moment, to have the words "GoldenPalace.com" tattooed on her forehead, they surely will jump at the chance to emblazon a plane with the same words only much larger. Let's hope they're much larger.

Sonic: Their commercials CAN'T get any worse...doing this would actually be a step UP from the usual feelings they evoke in me. Oh you know...wanting to gouge my eyes out, smacking myself in the forehead repeatedly whilst murmuring something along the lines of, "They didn't actually PAY someone to come up with THIS TRIPE, did they?" At least at 30,000 feet high, I won't be able to watch it...and there is a good in that, that even I cannot now begin to contemplate nor fully appreciate.

Snakes On A Plane: Don't they still have to do about $150 million dollars in DVD sales to begin to break even from this debacle? I figure somehow they work out a deal with Skybus...paint some snakes ON their plane and then every person who pays their $10 gets a free DVD. Sure, they won't be making any money on the deal, but the warehouse fees alone to store these things has GOT to be astronomical.

Lastly, and I sure hope as a joke, they can toss in a modified "If you can read this Skybus ad you're too close" bumper sticker...or better yet they can charge you $50 for the privilege of buying one. Hey, it's all about the overall experience...just remember that. Just don't forget, if Hooters Air can go bust... Well, poor choice of words there...but, just because there's a gimmick...doesn't mean it's gonna fly.

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