What happens when you combine Julia Child with Bill Nye? No...not a science experiment gone horribly wrong...you basically, and very basically at that, get the premise of a show on the Food Network called "Good Eats" hosted by Alton Brown...and we wouldn't miss it. Yes, it is that good. He is that good. Would THIS happen if he weren't?
You don't cook? Can't stand Rachael Ray? Well, maybe that last one is just me...but chances are if you give this guy a watch or two...you will indeed watch again. In fact I've watched enough times to know that Alton lives in Marietta, Georgia...and annoyed his professors when he attended the New England Culinary Institute by continually asking "why" certain foods did what they did in recipes. Okay, I'll fess up...he didn't per se TELL us this...I kinda Google'd him after seeing a few "Whole Foods Market - Atlanta, GA" credits flashed at the bottom of the screen when he'd venture out of his kitchen to show us whatever it was he was showing us in that episode. Oh, yes...his show's not just a cooking show...he cleverly blends science and culinary know-how in between...so you actually come away not only knowing what an emulsifier is, but that eggs are one...what a mother is and why some vinegars have them and others don't, which rotisseries on grills work best...and just a whole bunch of other stuff...whipped up with an off-beat, quirky sense of humour. Even his episode titles reflect that this won't be your typical boring, run of the mill bland diet of pabulum that cooking shows of the past...or present for that matter...have fed us for ages. Sure, Emeril says "Bam!" a lot...but he couldn't keep my whole family entertained for 30 minutes (and he's got an hour-long show). On the contrary, Alton does...my 11-year-old likes him as much as my 18-year-old son...and nothing short of a role-playing action game on the computer holds his attention for long.
Now I've only tuned in to "Good Eats" for a relatively short time...the first episode I caught showed him grilling a potato (or was it an eggplant?)...with a Mr. Potato Head-type of face...and saying totally inappropriate things to it whilst it cooked. He was funny...and I was hooked. Due to that show I now know to spot the difference between male and female eggplants...and I've actually used that knowledge to pick out my very own eggplants...oh, okay...first and foremost to unsuspectingly walk up to people in the store in order to share my bit of vegetative trivia...which, by the way, eggplant is actually a berry. Nothing impresses people more than inane trivial knowledge about the sex of vegetables...unless it's sex WITH vegetables...and to the best of my knowledge, he's never done that show.
I've also deduced (no, I'm not really a stalker) that Alton likes to use the words "thusly" and "permutations", refers to items in the kitchen that perform only one job as "uni-taskers" and that he and I share a fondness of Martinis. And I know this might sound a bit odd, but each time he opens his fridge...I get a little happy, albeit maybe a little too happy, when I see the same item that I have in mine. "Ooooh...he buys the same organic cream as I do! Look...the same drinks!" But, he's just so 'gosh darned' (as he'd probably put it) entertaining, ...that it's actually fun to spy the same thing or to say why or what something is or does before he does...or to even imagine running into him in Buckhead one day. And maybe, just maybe...we could even reminisce about his "Raising the Bar" and "Olive Me" episodes while having a Martini...or two.
A Bit About Me
- Mariann Simms
- Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".