Which Thanksgiving side dish are you?
You are stuffing. That's right, you are stuffing, not dressing. Dressing is what you pour on a salad and it has flavours like "Blue Cheese" and "Thousand Island". Have you ever eaten Thousand Island dressing inside a turkey? It's not good. It's hideous. That's why you probably won't find one recipe for it online, unless it was written by your drunk, gun-wielding uncle whose name was Bob. Everyone used to have a drunk uncle named Bob...until that commercial for erectile dysfunction came out and everyone laughed at "Smiling Bob" as he was doing things like getting "a new swing on life" with his golf-loving lady friends and had a smirk on his face that made Bruce Willis' look like he was sucking on a lemon...a lemon which used to be sucked on by Rene Zellweger (with her cute scrunchy visage) until she got her face all whack by "not having" plastic surgery.
Lemon, by the way, you can shove up a turkey's butt and is tasty, but Lemon Joy dishwashing detergent, not so much. Remember that time in the mid-1970s where you actually tasted that strawberry "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" shampoo? It was friggen awful! That's why you don't see Lemon Pledge commercials anymore as people were probably inadvertently huffing it and dying. Thanks a lot, Lemon Pledge, as now I have that song, "Lemon Pledge, very pretty, put the shine down lemon good..." stuck in my head. Face it...she was inhaling WAY too much of this product to be that happy whilst dusting.
And, if your friends give you any grief over calling it stuffing...well, tell them to shove it! Shove it where the sun don't shine because no one uses Lemon Pledge anymore!
