A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

09 February 2014

Day 9: Dylan

Okay, I promised I wouldn't - but I totally forgot about this post until now...and, if I haven't said it by now, here goes:  I LOVE the Olympics!
 
I mean, I love them.  I so incredibly love them. 
 
And, one of the things you see all the time...when waiting for the scores to go up is "body language" -- the difference between one score and the next are so incredibly slim sometimes, and watching the thrill of victory bestowed upon one and the agony of defeat thrown on to another, is sometimes quite difficult to watch. And, what it all boils down to is getting a medal. 
 
And medals made me think of this post I did back on 4 August 2012, which I hope you enjoy.
 
 

 

Challenging the Gold

When I was younger, one of my dreams was to write a book...the other was to win a gold medal at the Olympics. So far, I'm pretty much 0 for 0...which isn't bad considering some people out there who won a gold medal in the Olympics didn't really win gold ones...and some...they probably just keep in the box on their mantle behind that commemorative plate of Charles and Diana. (Hey...it's being held in London...I thought I'd "Brit" it up a bit.)


Each Olympics they basically give someone the incredible honour of designing that year's Olympic medal...and when you think of gold medals, you usually (if you are old like me) have the image of Mark Spitz' gold-laden chest indelibly stamped into your brain.





Some Olympic medals...eh...not all that photogenic.


This got me thinking (when I was talking to a friend) that I remember one of the medals a few years back which basically was this chunk of crystal. Yeah, crystal might be nice in chandeliers and fancy wine glasses...but, me personally, would have been highly let down if I won a gold medal predominantly made of high end glass. "Cheers!" Sigh...it's not only made of glass...but it's ugly. I spent a dozen years of my life training to win something I might break if I drop it?? Great. Thanks Olympic medal picker people...thanks for shattering my dream and making it look like something the luge gouged out.


After talking about that...and finding out how difficult it is to find a pictorial history of Olympic medals while the Olympics are in progress...I managed to find all the medals given out since the onset of the Modern Games...dating back to 1896. Talking about a let down - they gave the winner a silver coin and a laurel branch. The runners-up...only got the branch.


While branches wither and die...unfortunately, these medals live on...


Designed by Lalique -- Albertville's 1992 Winter Olympics medal:





I didn't know that "crop circles" was a Winter Olympic event...I'd have guessed it was a Summer one -- Grenoble 1968:





Sapporo, if I remember correctly, was where those cute little snow monkeys liked sitting in the hot springs. Apparently, they also designed their wacky Winter Olympics medals as well:






You thought monkeys designing medals was a bad idea, right? No, you are wrong...having your two-year-old kid design one on their Magna-Doodle is worse. I present to you, Lillehammer's 1994 Ski Jumping medal...if you look at the jumper as if they are going in the other direction...it looks like a Zombie on skis. While I'm thinking that would have been a really awesome medal design...they had others...for each of the Winter events. This one is, by far, the best:





Hey, cool...I always did wonder what they did with all those old Korean coins...kind of odd they gave them out at the 2006 Turin games in Italy, tho:





You can't really tell - but these Vancouver 2010 medals were all misshapen and did not lie flat...they were also made with recycled electronic waste materials for their base. I guess that's one way to get rid of your country's toxic garbage:






Nothing screams Olympic games like "naked guy on a medal", as after all, the ancient games were played in the nude. London's 1908 and Stockholm's 1912 games both featured identical full metal porn:





Not to be outdone in the porn category, the medal in the 1924 Paris Summer games...well, I'm sorry -- I'm just hoping that they are only shaking hands:





There was a long stretch of time where the medals showed more tasteful depictions of winning...but then the 1972 Munich games came and went with much heartbreak. While they will also be remembered by stellar performances by American swimmer, Mark Spitz, and Soviet gymnast, Olga Korbut, they will, unfortunately, always be marred by human tragedy and not "naked aliens on a medal" only tragedy, like they rightfully should have been:



Thanks to "BBC News - London 2012: Olympic Medals Timeline" for all the Olympic medal-abilia.  Go and check out the link -- it's absolutely fascinating and fun!



 

(I have been wondering if the 2012 London games' medals are the largest in diameter [85 mm], as they certainly take up a lot of chest space...but they are not -- the 2009 Turin games takes the top spot with 107 mm medals.  Also, not to take any glory away from Michael Phelps...but in my mind, Mark Spitz will always be remembered first.)
 
 
Now, go on over to "We Work for Cheese" to see all the other entries for today's prompt, which is "Dylan" -- I think I cleverly worked it in up there if you managed to catch it.  If not, read the third paragraph again.

 

11 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing - your descriptions are hilarious, but I also enjoyed seeing the different medals!

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  2. The Korean medals look like pineapple rings.

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  3. Okay, I'm stumped. I can't find the reference.

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    1. If you can't find it, nobody can, Dufus! (Well, maybe MikeWJ should take a look.)

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  4. Okay - 3rd paragraph...within the quotes...that's as close as I can come without telling you it. :)

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  5. Nothing screams Olympic games like "naked guy on a medal".... hahaha! Love the porn category medals!

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  6. I love the Olympics,too. I'm watching them now.

    Those were some strange-looking medals.

    Hee Hee. That reference was truly evil.

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  7. HOW COOL!!! The 92 ones look like panty liners are stuck on them. And the naked aliens... how HYSTERICAL! This is fascinating... I never even thought about medals being different every year. Some are nice... others though????

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    1. OMG...you're right! They do look like panty liners...I wish I would have thought of that as you would have read it here. ROFL

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  8. Okay - for you who didn't find the "Dylan" thing....I bolded the letters (maybe it didn't show up so great, I don't know) but I combined the ending of one word and the beginning of another) dy lan - from "body language" - hey, no one said I couldn't be creative like that. ;)

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  9. It really is cool to see some of these designs. I always would have loved to have been in the Olympics, too. Way too late for me!

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