A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

15 February 2014

Day 15: My ears are ringing

"My ears are ringing" is the prompt for "Day 15" over at "We Work for Cheese" -- please click on the link and check out the other bloggers who are diligently trying to master a blog a day for the month of February.



 
For the life of me...I don't know why my temperature is always 97.something.  Sometimes it's even 96.something which causes me to think I'm probably dead...because only dead people have temperatures below 97.0.
 
But, that's not why I posted a picture of that thing.  It's a digital thermometer by ReliOn...and runs for about ten bucks.  The LED numbers, as you can see, are clearly shown and in a mere nine seconds...or until it beeps...you'll have your readout. 
 
Pretty nifty, huh?
 
Yeah...until you get old like me and the frequency range of things like stealth-like high frequency cell phones and mosquitoes start to go out.  And, apparently, the exact frequency that this thermometer emits.
 
It's very quiet...like 3 decibels at the most...and that's a good thing...because heaven knows you don't want to wake your kid up by the thing beeping as loudly as a garbage truck going backwards...when you shove this thing in their bottom.
 
The bad part is...no one my age can hear it.  Plus, let's pretend I could hear it...I can't hear it because I have tinnitus.  Tinnitus, for those who don't know, is an aggravating thing.  My ears are ringing.  Constantly.  It never stops.  Along with the high-pitched tea kettle sounds...are a lower frequency drone.  Sure, it's nice sometimes, as it drowns out the neighbourhood dogs barking at nite...but, it gets awfully annoying the rest of the time.
 
After a while you get used to it...but sometimes it changes pitch in my head and I pay attention to it again...and I have to constantly ask people to repeat themselves and I sometimes have to put the closed captioning thingy on the television.  I hate that because I end up watching the words and not the picture...plus they have to put it right smack on the screen...not low-like...and most times that channel logo will partially cover the words.  Plus the font is THE ugliest font in human history...and if two people are talking at once you'll get garbled nonsense with numbers in it.  I have to admit, I do find it fun when it says "EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING" or it tells me who is singing the song, like "ROLLING STONES' SINGING SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" - and I sit here and think...if I'm deaf...how the hell am I going to know what that song sounds like?
 
Anyway...it's time I get back to watching the Olympics -- altho I took a break from cross country skiing to watch Mae West in "She Done Him Wrong".  I'm just about to Google Cary Grant's teeth...because they must have been replaced early on in his career as they didn't look like this later on.
 

Ugh...I seriously need to get a life as I haven't yet gone to bed.  And, if that wasn't bad enough, the birds are now chirping outside...and in a range I can actually hear.



(Speaking of birds...for what it's worth, I blame my hearing loss/tinnitus on my attending a concert at JFK Stadium in Philadelphia where "A Flock of Seagulls" played.  There were a ton of bands...so don't mock me just yet.  But they came out and played a super loud noise for what seemed like ten minutes straight...whereupon everyone started holding their hands over their ears and yelling for them to stop.  I have actually Google'd this -- and some people online actually have implicated them as well...same concert.  I really think they screwed up a lot of peoples' hearing that day...and I will always believe that.)




16 comments:

  1. I used to drive my wife nuts with the TV volume cranked way up. Then I got hearing aids and now she's so happy we can turn the volume down. The funny thing is she still yells when she talks to me and I had to tell her to use her "inside voice".

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    1. Dufus - I've always read hearing aids couldn't help with tinnitus. I just reGoogle'd and, sure enough, they say there's some newish kind out now which actually do help. It would be great to be able to hear background noises now instead of the whistling and the hisses. Unfortunately, our medical (and it's great medical - retired military - seriously great coverage) will not pay for hearing aids except for members who are active duty. Now, I ask you...who typically needs a hearing aid? Active duty or retired military? Probably retired. And they say for a "good" one - the prices are upwards of $2,000.00 - and that's only for a "good" one! Ugh. I'll never get one in this lifetime. I guess I'll just have to pretend someone is thinking about me all the time (the old wives tale - ears are ringing - someone's thinking about you).

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    2. Ha! Inside voice? Do you know how many times a day I have to request that? Sad thing is, I can't hear a thing they're saying when they actually talk to me. *sigh*

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  2. Ugh on the tinnitus. What a royal pain in the....nevermind.

    I had to look up ears ringing because I thought it was the one where someone is talking about you but that's ears burning. But, whatever. It's probably just whatever you grew up with or is popular in your locale.

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  3. That STINKS. Sorry you have to deal with that. I hear the pitch when I have sinus issues, but nothing I am really aware of until I listen for it. I can't imagine having that all the time... no fair!

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  4. My hearing isn't great, and I have a slight amount of ringing, but if I take Asprin it's like the Huntchback of Notre Dame is playing The Nine Taylors in my head.

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  5. I remember a few years ago there was a big deal about a cell phone ring tone pitched so that nobody over 30 could hear it. Supposedly it sounded like a mosquito.

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    1. I remember that too. They actually used it in a device to deter teens from loitering. Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mosquito

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  6. I don't know if it was the one concert, Mariann. I played in bands from about age 17 to 24, standing right next to amplifiers, and especially in small rehearsal spaces we rented. I had pretty much constant tinnitus whenever I was in a band - hazard of the trade - but I don't have it now (haven't had it since I stopped trying to be a rock star.) It's certainly possible that the one really bad experience would cause it, but it may be some medications you're taking or have taken. For instance, some people have a problem with aspirin usage causing tinnitus. Have you checked into the 'warnings' associated with any meds?

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    1. Yes, I have, Jim...the thing is, I only went to a handful of concerts. "A Flock of Seagulls" played a sustained note at an incredible decibel. I had never seen people at concerts covering their ears and yelling at them to stop. It was really, really hurting.
      They knew everyone was telling them to stop and they just did it longer. I still feel they had something to do with it.

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  7. Looking at your fine print, in my experience I could easily blame The Black Crowes. Boston, 1992. The first 4 songs were so loud, it was just pure white noise.

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  8. I always took earplugs to concerts. It was the only way I could survive - otherwise it would have been too painful.

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  9. Oddly enough, the only reason I know what "tinnitus" means is because I've heard it mentioned in DVD commentaries whenever a character is distracted, and is unaware of what is being said.

    I have also had many nights during which I stayed up way past my bedtime, and I heard the birds outside chirping away. That kind of living will kill you if you keep it up too long.

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