A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

20 April 2006

Jersey Girl

As many of you have read in my previous blogs, I am originally from New Jersey...I lived in Jersey for 26 years. You can take the girl out of Jersey...but trust me, you can NOT take Jersey out of this girl...even tho I've lived here for 16 years. Oh...I know...everyone from New York and most places make fun of Jersey...even Craig Ferguson has made fun of Jersey on numerous occasions...and he's from Scotland. What are the chances New Jersey is made fun of IN Scotland? Okay, okay...I'd say pretty good.

So we are a comedic wasteland in Jersey, not unlike well...um...um...the toxic waste dumps we have so many of. We aren't New York, we're New York "Lite"...so altho we have the attitude there...THEY get all the glory for it. Oh...there's glory in having a New York attitude, but a Jersey one? Hey...we got Tony Soprano...and we recently had a contest to give Jersey a whole new slogan...you can probably guess how many sent in had the words "Tony Soprano" in it. I'd guess 1/3 of the 11,000 sent in. In the end, Jeffrey Antman of Passaic won with "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself". It was probably shortened from "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself Where the Bodies are Buried"...but you know...it wouldn't fit on the license plate.

Have you ever noticed we are the only two-word state that can go by its "last name"? Jersey. You don't ever hear anyone say they are from Dakota, York, Carolina, etc., it just doesn't happen. But you CAN be from Jersey...and no, it's not "Joisey"...I never in my 26 years of living there and subsequent visiting EVER heard anyone pronounce it "Joisey". I think we made that up to mess with people...oh we'd do that, we would. Oh, we mess with people in other ways, too...but if I told ya, I'd hafta kill ya. Hey, that's a joke...no, seriously...it is...don't let that slogan sway you.

I think we also have the uncanny ability to spot one of "us"...it's like some strange secret thing going on...kinda like the Freemasons...only we admit we have secrets. C'mon, someone knows where Hoffa is, after all...and you can bet they're from Jersey. But it's true...whenever I see someone on a talk show...my ears prick up and I watch for a little while...my little Jersey radar goes off and I'll go to the Internet Movie Database to see where they are from...and sure enough...Jersey! It has NOT failed yet. I even can spot them in a restaurant like the time I'm eating at City Grill (haven't been there yet...you should)...and I hear this guy talking...I home in on it right away...he's GOT to be from Jersey! I am not in the least shy, so after they get their check I saunter on over and confront him about it...sure enough...yep...and we start talking Jersey for a while.

And when someone who lives in Alabama from Jersey talks to another person from Jersey the subject of how you just can't get a decent hoagie or cheesesteak (yeah, I know they are FROM Philly...but we can do 'em, too) WILL come up . Why no one here has made a killing setting up an authentic Jersey hoagie (or for you Alabamians..."sub") shop is beyond me...unless, like Hoffa, it's a deeply buried secret.


  1. I appreciate your sentiments. I am a Jersey Girl, too. From a little town near New Brunswick. Have you seen the weirdnj.com website? It is truly amazing!

  2. Yes...I have seen that website, years ago. Hope it's still run by the same people, as it was very interesting.

    Thanks for commenting! :)