A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

27 April 2012

Day 27: Nude

Well, I know everyone has been waiting for "Nude" Day...and it's finally here. I, too, have been waiting for "Nude" Day - but much longer than anyone else. More after the introductions of my fellow non-contestants...and don't forget to thank Ziva for coming up with this idea...


MikeWJ, Nicky and Mike, Mo, Meleah, John, aka nonamedufus, Bryan, aka Unfinished Person, Malisa, Nora, LaughingMom, Tanya, Elizabeth A., 00dozo, Cheryl, Kristen, Katherine, and, last -- but definitely not least, Ziva.


Day 27 -- Nude:



Back in August of 2009 the powers that be which reside on the Alabama Alcohol Committee got their panties in a wad...over the lack of panties. A French bicycle ad from the 1800s was a tad too racy to slap on a product which is only sold to people over 21. And the thing is, as you can plainly see...it's not in a suggestive, full-on, horny-porny pose. It's just a drawing of a naked nymph...but, Alabama stated that children would see these wine bottles in stores (so, keep your kid away when you buy your alcohol) and their little brains could not handle a side-view of a stylized art depiction of a nude lady. What you are seeing here is a tiny button of a nipple and a somewhat Rubenesque tushie. Yeah...too much for the people at the Legislature and Alabama's Board of Alcohol Commission to wrap its dirty little heads around - so they banned it so we wouldn't be able to wrap our dirty little hands around any bottle in the state of Alabama...ever.

But...as you see...I have one! I bought it in Atlanta - and it's probably illegal for me to own it in my state...but that's just the rebel...or actually, the yankee...that I am. I am keeping my nude nymph'd bottle and giggle like a displaced New Jersian schoolgirl each time I look at it and think back about how this controversy was blown completely out of proportion and more than a tad too insane in this day and age. After all, heaven forbid someone drink a bottle of wine without a naked chick on the label and they end up butt naked; at least with this bottle -- there was truth in advertising, right?  "If you drink this wine you might get as naked as this labelled lady...don't say we didn't warn you!"
 

But I guess it's easier to walk around with your eyes totally open but your mind totally shut when you make the rules in this state.


Cheers!

13 comments:

  1. Maybe it's because it's on a bottle of wine. If it was on a bottle of beer, then I don't think they'd be opposed. I think they're elitist. :)

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  2. I think her picture should be on all bottles of wine, I'd definitely buy more wine if there were gorgeous women on every bottle.

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  3. I love everything about that label. I think you need to get a good painter to reproduce it and send it to your legislators as a gift for their chambers.

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    1. If I was going to pay someone to reproduce it - I'd get them to paint it here!

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  4. That is a beautiful illustration. It makes you wonder how the powers that be decide just what IS important.

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  5. I remember hearing about that legislation and thought it was a joke at first. Well, it is a joke - did they ban Picasso as well, or just children from going to art museums?

    Lovely nude, and nice take on the theme.

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  6. And I thought it was only our government that had brain damage.

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  7. Well, there's a wine called "Fat Bastard" -- and that wasn't banned. As long as Alabama keeps coming in 49th and 50th in education by state...they need never change that one.

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  8. I cannot believe that we live in a country that would find this artwork objectionable. This isn't 1750, for God's sake. It's not even 1250. I'm moving to France. The French are way more sophisticated about things than we are, and they make the best fries, too.

    Good post, Mariann.

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  9. It's a fabulous image, and considering the vibrant and constant TV adverts we are exposed to for lager, featuring smiling girls in scantily-clad attire, it's actually quite a modest and original label...did you drink it already or is it preserved for tonight?

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    1. No - I drank it a while back. That's why it has wine stains on the label. Speaking of stains - there are no stains on that pillow in back of it - I guess the light played tricks on the fabric and it made it look like it does. I just wanted to point that out - because I'm like that.

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  10. HA HA HA! CLEARLY this is obscene PORN! How funny... people have too much time on their hands! It is beautiful artwork!

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