A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

18 September 2006

Nobody's Fault But My Own

I don't know if anyone has ever noticed but I typically post these blogs quite late...as that's usually when I'm writing them. You can say I do my "best" work at night...or at least I think so. Well, I was indeed thinking so last night...but this might not necessarily be the case. Case in point:

What I usually do is think of some ideas I could use for blogs...then I sit on them as I think of something else to write instead. Just the other night I was sitting around and thinking..."ya know, I bet people don't even know there is a fault line nearly outside our door...and those people further north probably never think of the New Madrid Fault Line". I remember watching a program on television years ago which talked about how we here are "due for one". I thought of all this and sent the idea to my friend on the 5th of September...and then sat on it. Oh sure, I gathered up the geologic info on earthquakes and on fault lines and such...but I didn't do anything...blogwise. And then what happens? A 6.0 earthquake in the Gulf of Mexico on the 11th. How timely would that have been? Well...at least there is one person out there who believes me when I say this.

So, what does all this have to do with thinking I do my best work at night? Hang in there...I shall try to illuminate you.

I grew up in New Jersey as many of you are aware if you've read my blogs...and I also have trouble sleeping...a fact I've also mentioned. So, last night I take half an Ambien and then decide to forage thru some of my blog ideas I've sent myself and pull one out and work on it. One I've been meaning to do is about prescription drugs and how drug companies are supposedly trying to make them affordable to the elderly and lower income bracket people...especially those with children.

"What does all this have to do with New Jersey? And really...what does it have to do with you thinking you do your best work at night??" Those are the two questions that are probably still sticking out as unanswered to you at this point...but please don't give up yet...there's a method to my madness.

Growing up 45 minutes from Philadelphia meant we received the Philadelphia news channels, and one year one of them started doing this "experiment" which was really fun and enlightening to watch. With the aid of the local police department the news team would, one by one...and literally "one by one"...get behind the wheel of a car on a closed test track and go all around the little orange cones like you've seen done in those car commercials...darting in between them and on a curve...being careful, of course, not to smash into any or knock them down. "Pretty easy" you say, huh? Well...have a beer! And another and another! Each time they drank one down they would ask them how they were feeling and if they felt at all impaired. Then they would let them drive around the track. It was actually quite comical after a while...they honestly thought they were fine...that they could literally drive their "best" after a few. Then when they all sobered up...they played the tape back for them and boy were they surprised...cocky attitudes...cones all over the place...and not as many beers tossed back as they'd have imagined.

So...although not nearly as dangerous...but equally as comical I assure you - is my Ambien-taking and blogging, ironic as it may that my intended blog was about prescriptions drugs. As for my self-assuredness? Let's just say it's not very likely that I am ever going to produce the evidence to show you, even if it is, essentially, "on tape" as well.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Hey, you do realize I can call you up and spend three hours on the phone telling you all about my writing it and the spark that got me started, don't you?

    Yes, being able to talk for hours on end does have its perks. :)

  3. To anyone who may have read the comment I previously posted here (now removed): It was entirely tongue-in-cheek, and no part of it was intended to be taken remotely seriously. My apologies to anyone who may have interpreted it otherwise.