A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

25 January 2014

Jailed Man's YouTube Video Reaches One Million "Self-Hits" in Two Months

(Photo of Paul Bremis inside Police Cruiser)

A man in prison posts a YouTube video - and it gets a million hits.  Most of them his.
Yes, believe it or not a man in a Chicago prison uploaded a video of himself watching a video of himself and it went viral - but not in the way you'd think.
Paul Bremis, who is serving a six-month sentence for a traffic violation in which he not only failed to yield to merging traffic but also did not have a valid license, decided he should make the most of his incarceration, stated,  "I figured I'm in jail, I have a lot of time on my hands, why not do something fun?"
The video which Bremis, 24, uploaded to YouTube, shows himself being pulled over by police and subsequently led away.  But, Bremis decided to give the video a bit of spin by changing the dialogue and then showing himself watching the video ranting and raving that everything he said on the police dashcam was altered.
Confused yet?  Hold on, there's more.
Bremis then set out to get the video to go viral but all his attempts at directing traffic to it (no pun intended) via Facebook, Reddit, and Twitter failed to yield (again no pun intended) the desired hits.
"I thought it was a funny video.  I see a lot of stuff on Facebook and other social media sites that really suck and they go viral.  I figured if mine goes viral, maybe can get a bunch of sympathetic stupid people giving me money and I'd be able to buy a new car or something." Bremis said yesterday.  "Seems like people will give other people money over the dumbest things they do wrong, and I figured I might as well jump at my chance.  Hell, for all I know this might be the only time in my life I'll ever get arrested."
But, Bremis' plan backfired, when, after a week the video only had 12 hits...10 of them his own. 
"That's when I got an idea." Bremis said.  "I figured if I can keep clicking on the video, I can keep getting hits registered and then when it gets enough hits, it will go viral and I'll end up on 'Good Morning America' where the big money is.  I wasn't going anywhere all day and night anyway, so I got nothing to lose."
After two months of constant clicking his video finally reached he one million mark.  "I thought it was going to take a lot longer." Bremis stated, "I'm no math whiz, but I thought I wouldn't be able to pull it off.  They always told us things in school like it would take you 2000 years to count all the interest a million dollars makes, you know, if you started counting it right now.  And, as a kid, you believe that stuff.  But this totally proves them wrong.  I mean, here it is, two months later and I have over a million hits, most of them mine."
And the Chicago City Jail collaborates those figures.  "I wouldn't have believed it myself." Chief Warden Anthony Bruglia stated.  "Bremis is right about the math they teach you in school.  It has to be wrong.  I never would have guessed he could click that many times just sitting here in jail.  It kinda gives everyone else here hope in a way, I think.  You know, that they can achieve something no one ever imagined."
As far as that money for a new car?  Donations to Bremis' PayPal account are already totaling in excess of $54,000. 


  1. They let criminals have internet access in jail? No wonder our country is going to hell in a handbasket.

  2. In the exclusive DVD commentary of Mr Bremis talking about watching the video of himself watching the video of himself, he did state that 2% of all proceeds from his DVD sales would go toward installing state-of-the-art multi-media systems in all jail cells, and making sure prisons are equipped with broadband, they may be felons but dial-up internet is cruel and unusual punishment.

  3. I'm skeptical. What inmate has access to a computer and the internet while sitting in jail? Also, how does one click a video that many number of times? The math isn't there to support the claim.

  4. Math lies. I think this is a job for Mythbusters...or Mathbusters - or both.

  5. Math reveals facts. People lie.

  6. It's not physically possible, true, to click that often by hand, but some of the computer language programs and password cracking classes they offer us inmates have been put to some really inventive uses, such as the macros program written by a team of guys from death row and a few of the guards. We are making some great strides and should well be able to continue our nefarious endeavors even after we have been served here our last meal.
    thanks for your concern
    inmate #PJX99796956

  7. I always thought those YouTube hits were grossly exaggerated anyway. I mean, when I had a website, I could configure it where it started at 100,000 hits - or that each hit would register X amount. I think that's what a lot of those viral videos do. Some are so stupid that I find it difficult to believe they amass that many hits so quickly.

  8. Don't underestimate the dexterity and adeptness toward new technology of the modern day prison inmate. The days of the chain gang are over, gone are the long days of breaking rocks in the hot sun. Things changed for us prisoners when the system decided it would treat us more humanely. The average inmate these days spends four hours playing chain gang video games on the xbox, where rock breaking is achieved by quick repeating taps on the controller. Many prisoners are begging for the Red Cross or some international group to come in and document the rampant outbreaks of carpal tunnel syndrome, repetitive stress disorder, tennis elbow and nintendo wrist in the prison communities, these afflictions are spreading creating a pandemic, but remaining ignored by officials. The ACLU is pushing currently to get all prison video games systems to switch over to Wii which is thought to be less dangerous and detrimental to the users health.
    gotta go, i'm up next in mortal kombat...

  9. I cant believe that in jail the have access to social media and the means to film themselves. And i thought the British justice system was bad

  10. some social networks were born in the prisons, Facemug is a popular networking site build by and available only to inmates. Since the emergence of the for-profit prison, many penitentiaries are looking to cash in anyway they can. Some wardens have been signing on with the reality television crowd, with the Discovery Channel premiering a show about the Amish in American jails, and the History channel is working on a show where prisoners speak and hypothesize about alien invasions past, present and future.
    INMATE ID# THN98226453 'As Seen on TV!'

  11. I just think it's insane that this poor guy was jailed for six months for basically not having a license. People do less time for killing other people.

  12. Paul Bremis is a fucking moron. The end.

  13. All I can say is...wow.
    It amazes me just how easily led the media is. Is it that they/we are starved for anything deemed as ridiculous or is there just not enough productive things to spend ones time on?