A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

17 January 2012

My Theory #1: Depression

"Modern Times" (1936) with Charles Chaplin and Paulette Goddard...the final scene where he tells her to "smile"...this is also Charles Chaplin's last silent film.

I have been thinking and thinking about why I've been so blah and depressed and have no energy for what seems like years now. And other than the obvious reason -- long, pre-divorce situation, and my health...I've decided there are things I used to do in my past which made me happy...that I don't do anymore.

1) Cook. I used to always get Gourmet magazine and before that one, Cuisine magazine - ever since I was 16 years old. I haven't gotten any sent to me in a couple years...and now I have no desire to cook. Sure, I love Epicurious.com - but, the mouth-watering photos you see in a real, honest to goodness magazine...can't be found "paging" thru some website. So, I'm going to start up another subscription.

2) Read Vogue magazine. For years and years - probably ever since I was about 15...I had a subscription to Vogue...and I always put on make-up and was impeccably dressed. Sure, I live in crappy Alabama and it's not the same as NJ...which is next to NY...and that, being the fashion capital of the world...knew how to dress -- but, I don't put a face on anymore and I dress like a better-than-average sloburbinite...so I'm going to start up a subscription.

3) Watch funny sit-coms on television. I used to watch hilarious sit-coms...you know, back when they had this thing called "writers"...and they used to pay these things called "actors" to be funny and read the scripts. For instance, the shows "Soap", "Taxi", "Cheers", "Seinfeld" and "Frasier"...now it's just a sea of endless crap on -- and all I watch are documentaries and old films on Turner Classic Movies...which isn't bad at all...but, late at nite I find myself watching icky things like "Unsolved Nasty-ass Crimes Upon Humanity" where they go into detail of the brutal killing of innocent people - and show graphic things and display graphic warnings about the soon-to-be-shown graphic imagery. And then I read the "horror killing of the day" on the news...which always tells you about some mother or father murdering their child in a more horrible way than the one the day prior. So, all I do...is get spoon-fed misery. I want to laugh again. I find myself not even watching Letterman or Craig Ferguson...both of whom I laugh at. I just sit here and probably think horrific things in my subconscious...and get more and more depressed...because the news is constantly shelling out dismality (is that a word - if not, it should be)...and I don't laugh...and laughter, unlike Xanax, is probably really the best medicine after all.

I'll keep you up-to-date if it's working...at least it's cheaper than therapy.


  1. Research actually shows that not watching all that depressing television is better for your mental health. But we all know that you can find research to back up both sides of every debate. But wouldn't it be nice to turn on the TV and not have to hear horrific stories of missing children, and their devil parents? As for the make up. "Put on a little make up, make up. Make they get your good side, good side! :-)

  2. MY WIFE varies my viewing habits, but if on my own I watch almost nothing but old sitcoms on DVD. So much funnier than those out now (for the most part) and so much less crap on the screen to annoy me (I despise anything that 'pops up' on-screen during a show, and old sitcoms have absolutely none of that drek.)

    By all means, get dressed to the nines, cook a nice fillet with fingerling potatoes and asparagus with bernaise sauce, then watch a couple episodes of Sgt. Bilko. Even better, do all of those things with someone of the sex whose company you prefer.

  3. Hey, I love your blog! I gave you a Liebster Award! Check it out on facebook! Seriously, you can now add award-winning blogger to you list of titles.

  4. Antfan - I'm sure all of us are getting a little more depressed without even realizing it. The entire world seems like it's taking anti-depressants...there's got to be a big connection.

  5. Sully - So, what you're saying is that your wife "controls the remote" in your house, right? ;)

    I hate those pop-up things, too...and I hate the huge logo that has to stay on the bottom of the screen reminding of which channel I'm watching like I'm not intelligent enough to know without it.

  6. Tangela - Woohooo! Thanks! Now I'll try to figure it out. I've been awarded a couple other awards I was never able to figure out how to add as I'm not the most computer savvy person out there (nothing prestigious, mind you - just someone handing a "Hey, I like your blog" kinda thing...but those are sometimes much more important to a wannabe writer anyway). Hopefully this one has step-by-step idiot-friendly directions. :)

  7. The only sitcom that makes me laugh anymore is "Hot In Cleveland" with the remarkable Betty White. It's on TV Land Network on Wednesday nights. Give it a look. And kudos on going back to cooking and fashion magazines. Maybe I also suggest you get a Chihuahua? No, really. My Dixie makes me smile 1,000 times every day. And if all else fails, I'm a big believer in "better living through chemistry."

  8. Cooking & watching sitcoms = CURE for depression!

  9. and who's sex do you prefer?

  10. There are many ways on how to deal with depression. One way is to divert our attention to the things which can make us happy like playing games or watching television movies or sitcoms. The best way for me is to talk to family and friends, if I can't, I would play computer games.

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