A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

14 May 2011

Three Time's a Charm?

After watching yet another episode of Chef Gordon Ramsay get flustered and cuss his way into acceptance on some "Kitchen Nightmares" show filmed in Philadelphia, it dawned on me how nearly everyone seems to be incorporating some British slang words into their boring American lexicon thereby seeming to be extremely interesting.

In fact, some news sources speculated there were more people in the USA watching Prince William and Kate Middleton get married a couple weeks ago than there were watchers in the UK. While wedding guests in Royal attendance queued up to get inside Westminster Abbey...donning outrageous hats and dowdy clothing...Facebook was abuzz with comments. But, some posters, who fly a different red, white and blue flag, flaired it up a bit with Brit.

Oh, we've all been guilty of doing it from time to time. Don't pretend you don't. Even "BBC America" is running an ad about Brit words and what they mean and how posh it is to use them.

Like that.

"Posh." C'mon, no one even used the word before that silly "Spice Girl" (you know the one who looks like a lollipop -- big head, stick body, married to Mr. Spice aka David Beckham) came about...unless you count Michael Caine.

It seems, nowadays, everyone uses words like "wonky" and "numpty"; it's only a matter of time before we use words like "brill" and "pressies".

I also love to make up words. I always have and I always will. I've written about my penchant for coining words...and I've done at least one blog about British words. Go "here" and "here" if you don't believe me. Below are a couple I made up years and years ago and pretty much use them on a daily basis...so much so that I'm almost convinced they're real.

Scubby: (adj.) Unkempt looking. "Will you please shave...you're looking really scubby."

Slurb: (noun; verb) When a cat smooshes their face up against you and leaves that kinda wet scent they mark their territory with. (Said to my cats:) "Ewwww...stop putting your slurb on me!" "Stop getting me all slurby."

Scrolly Guide: (noun) The thing on your television which you view to see what is on television. "Let me look on the scrolly guide to see what's coming on at 8:00."

Why most of my words start with an "S" is anyone's guess.

So just for the heck of it I attempted to make up my own British-sounding words...and, it seems some actually might exist in some capacity. Case in point: Apparently adding "tw" to any word makes it instantly "Twitter-worthy" but since I don't "Tweet" I didn't know this...and I believe 99% of everything Tweeted is pretty much complete "twarbage" anyway.

This made me wonder if there are really any words out there which haven't been tried in some form already. I honestly believe there are people out there randomly syllablizing every single sound, combining it with another, and then popping it online to get some type of notoriety. So, I decided to jump on the proverbial bandwagon as well before it's too late.

And might I add..."'BBC America'...are you listening??"

Jilly-nubber: (noun) A female pleasuring device similar to a French Tickler only derisively British. "At her Hen Party, Kate Middleton received not one...but four Jilly-nubbers - two from her sister, Pippa!"

Twollocks: (noun) Insert gratuitous "bollocks" comment here...only do it twice.

Harrodsment: (noun) When the staff of a posh store constantly harass someone by following them around condescendingly asking if they need any help finding "something". "Each time we go into any bleedin' posh boutique just to have a look around, the Harrodsment always starts up."

I'm half-thinking of starting up a "British Word of the Day" blog. The gist of it would be that I watch "BBC America" and then blog about a word I haven't a clue about (existence and/or usage)...and then attempt to use it incessantly in a senseless blog.

After all, I am pretty much half-thinking senselessly most of the time anyway.

My blog was going to end with that sentence above...but, here's an update:

In fact I was so inspired by my newest endeavour that I created a THIRD blog! It is called "Brit Word of the Day"...and is found if you click that highlighted link right above.

Join and comment. Have fun. That's all I ask. Let me know what you think of the layout, the colour scheme, the positioning of things and so forth - and please comment there about it so I know where all the comments are. If you don't like something let me know...it's the only way I'll know something. I'm not the greatest technical person in the world - but I can figure out some things. But if you don't voice your likes and dislikes, I'll never know. :)


  1. That was most enjoyable! A bloody hoot!

  2. a new blog? YIPPEE

    jolly well done

  3. BBC America need to pay a visit to England cos i have never heard of any of those words LOL
    and Twolloks = twat and bolloks said together
    Love the blog :)

  4. See, now being Canadian, I didn't realize wonky was considered British. We use it all the time here.

    Off to check out the new blog...!

  5. Ok, visited, liked it, the only suggestion I have is that maybe you could add the Name/URL option to the commenting process. It might just be me, but I'm not a fan of signing into an account to leave a comment. :-)

  6. Top Gear - another BBC classic - is influencing my lingo. Bonnet, boot, brake horsepower... but the boys at the garage think I'm gay now.

    I read Headrambles.com and don't understand most of what he writes! But it's fun. :-)

  7. Vanessa - Well the six words I "defined" in this blog are my own which I invented. Not sure if you were talking about those or the others...as if they were mine, that's probably why you haven't heard them yet. :)

  8. Thnk you Cheryl and Nanners! :) Always happy whenever anyone reads my blog - happier still if they like it. :)

  9. Nicky - I guess I'm not sure what you're asking as when I make a coment to my own blog - I'm already logged in and it doesn't cause a problem for me. And, if you know how I can make it do what you are wanting, could you let me know? I am rather "technically challenged" when it comes to these things and it seems the new blogger format is much different from the old that I used to set this one up on.

  10. GoingLikeSixty - I watch Top Gear as well, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I can't do them all in a day. :)

  11. Love it! I invented a word myself...

    Durble: An act that is not impossible, but can only be accomplished accidentally. Examples: Knocking a tin can off a table and having it land upright. Changing lanes at 75MPH without hitting the reflector bumps. Or my favorite, when pitcher Randy Johnson threw a 95MPH fastball and it hit a bird, midflight.

  12. Biting is like kissing, but there's a winner.

  13. Thanks Chris. I always wondered what you call those things you mentioned. Now I have a word for it. :)

    Anonymous - Yes, yes, biting has a winner. Haven't you learned anything from all those vampire films? ;)

  14. Oh, I just love British Words!

  15. Your new words are magnificent, and apt. My favorite Britishism of late is "chuffed", as in "I was so chuffed when I was picked to be the Blog Of The Week" or whatever. It means "pleased to a large degree", though I'm sure you knew that already.

  16. Sully - First off, glad to see you blogging again. :)

    I've never used "chuffed" - but it sure is a great one...that's for sure. When someone on BBC America says it, I'll be sure to do that one up. It sounds like it would be the opposite to me, tho. Like you were pissed. But, of course, if you were pissed in Britain...it's a whole other thing than it is here. ;) I plan to be a bit "pissed" in a bit myself.

    Thanks for stopping by. :)

  17. Just don't go asking a Brit if they have seen your "fanny" pack. This is a fun post, m'dear. Now you will get more comments if you give more comments, Mariann. Terrible drudge, I know, but it must be done. Nicky is always really fun. Go comment on her post.