I was going to label this blog "Top Ten Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die"...but as I own/run an online comedy website...here comes my "shameless plug" for my site, www.HumorMeOnline.com, as Kyra Phillips (of CNN "microphone left on talking about Bush and her sister-in-law whilst in the bathroom" fame) once called it when she interviewed me after I won the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in 2003...I would only attempt to make them "funny" and "somewhat amusing" for your benefit. (Talk about being able to shamelessly plug so much in so little space.) So...I won't do that blog...well...just yet. But I will elaborate about one of the items that would be on that list somewhere: I would LOVE to go to a gala-terrific-type New Year's Eve party.
Oh, I'm not talking about a few friends over to the house or vice-versa...I'm talking one of those types of shindigs that could have cameras panning in on uber-rich Paris Hilton-dressed "girl-women" as they gyrate around the dance floor with silly grins on their faces after having way too much champagne poured down their Harry Winston-adorned throats. That kinda party. A full-blown "could have has-been singers like David Lee Roth and The Captain and Tennille singing there" celebration. Okay...the more I think about that scenario...the more I'd opt for some unknown cover band instead. I do want to drink, after all...but I'd rather not get sick.
Why? Why would I want to go out and get all dressed up and festive-like and hang with people I'll never talk to again in my entire life? Because I haven't done it. That...and the fact I'm an extremely social person. I'd have parties and host dinners every weekend at my house if I could afford it...I could single-handedly keep the conversation going if I had to and I can cook remarkably fantastic if I do say so myself (and I am). Here's where I could say a bunch of stuff about my eventually to be ex-husband being just the opposite of me...but I won't. I'll just casually mention that the next time (if I ever get remarried)...well, I'm going to get all gussied up and taken to a New Year's Eve party...and ya know what?
Maybe, just maybe...I'll despise it! ;)
A Bit About Me
- Mariann Simms
- Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".