A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

07 July 2006

Girls' Night Out

Well, I was going to write about how my computer died the other day...and how self-reliant we are on computers as a population...but you probably already are aware of this, as if you are reading this now, chances are you have dealt with your share of computer mishaps and inept "help".

What I'm going to ramble on about instead is sleepovers. The right of passage for every young girl...do guys even have an equivalent? I remember with extreme fondness, as a child, the anticipation of a "sleepover". I lived far removed from friends, and people in general, up until the age of 11...when we moved to a much more "inhabited" locale. Suddenly I went from total isolation, to having a friend directly across the street from me...Robyn H, if you are out there...you were that friend. Robyn was a whole year younger than me...or was it two. When you are 11...one year is a lot...two years is astronomical...now it's not so much an issue, but I would still love to be two years younger than I am...contrary to what "The Stones" say, time is not on our side.

But back to Robyn...Robyn had a sister named Patty...whom I "re-met" years after she did a stint in the Army and had "matured" quite a lot...she was actually a very nice person...but as she was a little older than me...and Robyn's sister, she was our nemesis when we were young...she was quite gullible. I think Patty came from a long line of gullible people...and Robyn and I used that to our advantage...I won't go into detail...but my, we had fun. I was never an "evil" child per se...but when a person is asking for it, and you are raised in New Jersey...well, you kinda oblige them.

I had no problem making friends, unlike poor Patty...I was quite outgoing...and as such had many sleepovers. I look back at it now, my childhood, and realize just how trusting adults were. I used to baby sit at the very slight age of 11...my daughter is 11 and altho I trust her, I wouldn't entrust the lives of my 3 and 5-year olds to ANY 11-year-old. I was quite mature for my age...my daughter is the same...but still...11??? That IS rather young. My first sleepover happened before then...so did my first cigarette...they both happened simultaneously. Trusting adults...and children who want to get over on them...do not mix. A word to the wise: parents who go to bed before their children when they have friends over...if you think nothing is going on...wake up...no one is that naive...let alone your children.

Again, I reiterate...I was a good child...BUT if I wanted to do stuff that was much less than on the "up-and-up"...I could have succeeded...I had so many opportunities...I remember sneaking out with my friends more times than I had friends...and because I remember being able to do it, no one is going to be able to do it on my watch.

So, as I realize my daughter is a product of genes...and my genes tend to stay up all night...I've done all I can to pound this knowledge into her friends' parents without sounding totally condescending. Okay, I did sound condescending...but I meant well...I am never going to be one of those parents who never did "anything" wrong. You know the type...the "when I was your age...I NEVER did blah blah"...oh, you did, too...we ALL did...don't go there. I KNOW what I did, therefore I know what you are capable of, as I was capable of it at your age...only I had better judgement than to do it...I had a mother who cared enough to listen to me...who was once a child herself, in an era where no one ever did anything...only she had the belief in me to be truthful. No man is an island...no woman is either.

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