Day 7: Hint Hint

Today's challenge over at "We Work for Cheese" is "Hint Hint"...and, this is going to be a very short blog...in a way.

 

Some of you might have the same problem I have...and that's trying to draw readers over to your blog.  I get happy when people say they've read it...and incredibly ecstatic when someone takes the time to comment...and I've always told everyone, "I live for comments...good, bad, or anonymous.  Hint hint."

 

So...ummmm...hint hint.

 

I initially started writing a blog for The Montgomery Advertiser back in March 2006 - hoping they would notice my "brilliance" as a writer (or at least my "above mediocre" ability) and hire me.  It didn't work. The previous executive editor even called me in to talk to her for a whopping two hours...but that's all I have to say about that in public.  All the same, feel free to write them/him (as they have a new editor) and who knows, perhaps with the right nudging they might call me back in and give me that shot after all (and, yes, I'm serious).
 
Anyway, here's a sprinkling of some of my previous blogs, a "Top Ten List" if you will. Some are silly, some are sad, and some are just the early morning ramblings of a woman who takes her Ambien way too late and fancies herself a writer.

I don't ask that you read all of them...that would be ridiculous -- just pick whichever title strikes a chord...or choose your favourite number from 1-10...and go with that one. Oh...and leave me a comment. 

 

Again, hint hint.  :)

 

 

1. Viagra...vating

 

2. Esmerelda and the Area Known as 51

 

3. Driven to Tears

 

4.  Hollywood Lights

 

5.  Of Ripples of Butterfly Wings

 

6.  A Small Slimmer of Taupe

 

7.  Two Guys, a Girl and a Tube Tester

 

8.  Ancient Alien Conspiracy Regarding "The War of the Worlds"

 

9.  Potato Farmers - the New Vampires?

 

10.  Halloween is Different for Me This Year

 

 

(I apologize in advance for some of these not having the photo that I yanked off the Internet for insertion into my blog...apparently someone yanked them.  If I went in and redid my blog with a new photo, it would take me 40 minutes per blog to add all the HTML code to make the spacing correct as it always screws up the spacing and fonts when I edit...so I left them without images.  It even managed to mess up the link colours.  Why?  I don't know!  Blogger is indeed maddening. )

Viagra...vating

Okay, who else is really getting creeped out by the constant barrage of Viagra and Cialis commercials?

You know, back when I was a kid, there was nothing more annoying than the "Hey, Pam...what's in the bright blue box?" "It's Stayfree Maxipads!" And then "Perky Pam", who was bumped into - in the airport by her friend, who coincidentally spills the entire contents of her purse on the floor...who coincidentally is carrying a HUGE box of 40-count of them...who feels compelled to hold them up for everyone to see...proceeds to tout their remarkable absorbability.

They would play that commercial interspersed with the "horseback riding, tennis playing, white pants-wearing" woman who also carried a 40-pack of Tampax in her purse. Then to round it off, it would be "Hey, Mom...do you ever have that "not so fresh feeling?" - and true to form, all girls supposedly confront their moms about feminine hygiene smell-masking products...and all moms carry around a 4-pack of Massengil..."just in case" this confrontation finally happens.

I don't know about you - but growing up as a young teen...realizing that I ultimately will have to carry around a detergent-sized box of feminine products wherever I go...well, I was afraid to leave my house.

Well, for some reason those commercials got replaced by ED ones. You know ED...not unlike "Bob"...who has a new swing on life...ED is Bob's black-sheep brother - who is determined to get all the attention.

"ED", of course, is "Erectile Dysfunction", and apparently every single guy in America who is over the age of 45...will not be able to leave his house because of it.

Oh, wait...that came out wrong. Let me try again...

...these commercials are friggen creepy!

Not only are they creeping ME out - but they creep out my son and my daughter. Hell, I bet they creep my cats out, too.

And where do they find the most smarmy-seeming guys for these ads? Do they march them in...have a woman go "Ewwwwwww, I'd NEVER have sex with that guy...*shudder shudder*" and then the advertising execs say "Yep! You're hired! Because if guys see YOU getting lucky on television...well, they figure THEY'LL have a shot, too."

Don't believe me? Ask any woman if they'd toss out the magazines, TV remote and whatever else she tosses out on the lawn...just to have a "four-hour moment" alone with this guy. The only thing I'd be tossing...would be my cookies.

Then there's the guy who keeps looking at, and talking to, his reflection in the store windows in the Mayberry town he's strolling thru...only to have it say things back to him like "Heading to the doctor? So, are you going to ask him this time? Isn't it time for Viagra? Isn't it time for the dry heaves?"

Sorry, that last one was my comment...not the commercial.

Then the coup de grâce...the "dual claw-footed cast-iron bathtubs at the beach" advert.

You know, whenever *I* get into an amorous mood, there's nothing more appealing to me than heading to the shore with my surfboard and metal tub on top of my woody. Oh wait...that didn't come out right, either...

...you see - a "woody" was a type of car. Seriously, it was...see?

But, if you were over 45 you'd already know this...and you'd also know the "Viva Viagra" song is making Elvis spin in his grave.

Anyway...these 60-second spots (not to be confused with that "four hour" spot)...make me long...

...for those bygone days of my youth.

I'm sure even "Pam" would agree.