Death to Punxsutawny Phil -- Too Harsh a Sentence?

Squirrel Goes Nuts -- Vows to Eat One Baby Each Day People Continue to Complain About Punxsutawny Phil

A mother squirrel in the neighbouring town of Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania, has literally had it with all the bad press lately about Punxsutawny Phil that she has vowed to eat one baby per day until the "madness has stopped".

The Slippery Rock rodent resident has lived in the shadow of Phil for too long and is tired of all the hoopla which descends upon the quiet and serene area of western Pennsylvania every year.

While the mother could not be reached for comment...she does live way up in a tree after all...we did manage to get hold of the following statement:

"Each year, without fail, right smack dab in the middle of mating season...all these news vans set up camp just to get a photo op with some lazy rodent who couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground" the upset mother of six (make that five) stated yesterday. "I know it's some human tradition thing that's been going on for years, but it wreaks havoc with my biological clock and a squirrel can only wait so long before she has to decide which mate to pick. Last year I picked Ralph...this year, it was Eddie. Ralph was no prize, trust me -- Eddie's even worse. All my other suitors relocated to areas further away because radio frequencies apparently inhibit squirrel sperm count. Had I known how my kids were going to turn out because of Ralph's mutated nut-juice, I would eaten them then. Now they are too big and I can't...so this year, I'm planning to eat one of Eddie's kids each day I see another news truck come barrelling through here. I figure he can't hold that against me and, since it's a noble cause for all the other wildlife around here, it's a win-win situation for all."

And I, for one, cannot agree more. Come on people...it's a rodent. A shadow-producing (or not), weather-predicting rodent in 2013? And we're going to ask for his head on a plate because he predicted wrongly? (People are actually calling for his death.)  Yeah, back before meteorology and calendars like the Farmer's Almanac...I could see people getting mad enough. But 2013?? No wonder the Aztecs were hoping we'd bite it in 2012.

(Yes, I know...literally vs figuratively...but literally still sounds better to the ear.)

Walking in a Winter Wonderland...in Autumn

I went into Starbucks last Saturday and they already switched over to Christmas - or how they referred to them, "holiday", bags. It's like um - waaaay before Thanksgiving. No, I won't bore you with a tirade about how it was when I was a kid and they didn't stick Christmas stuff up until the day after Thanksgiving.

But, I'm thinking...isn't it about time to capitalize on the 21 Dec 12 thing? I mean, that comes before Christmas. Where's my "Doomsday"-themed Starbucks bag? How come I don't see any Doomsday decorations up -- but they put up Christmas ones? That's a bit presumptuous of them, isn't it?

 

My "holiday" bag from Starbucks.  The other side has a snowman.  I guess you could say these are "winter-themed" but I clearly heard the Starbucks person use the word "holiday".  I doubt they meant Thanksgiving - but it wouldn't be the first time I've been wrong.


 

Challenging the Gold

When I was younger, one of my dreams was to write a book...the other was to win a gold medal at the Olympics. So far, I'm pretty much 0 for 0...which isn't bad considering some people out there who won a gold medal in the Olympics didn't really win gold ones...and some...they probably just keep in the box on their mantle behind that commemorative plate of Charles and Diana. (Hey...it's being held in London...I thought I'd "Brit" it up a bit.)

Each Olympics they basically give someone the incredible honour of designing that year's Olympic medal...and when you think of gold medals, you usually (if you are old like me) have the image of Mark Spitz' gold-laden chest indelibly stamped into your brain.

Some Olympic medals...eh...not all that photogenic.

This got me thinking (when I was talking to a friend) that I remember one of the medals a few years back which basically was this chunk of crystal. Yeah, crystal might be nice in chandeliers and fancy wine glasses...but, me personally, would have been highly let down if I won a gold medal predominantly made of high end glass. "Cheers!" Sigh...it's not only made of glass...but it's ugly. I spent a dozen years of my life training to win something I might break if I drop it?? Great. Thanks Olympic medal picker people...thanks for shattering my dream and making it look like something the luge gouged out.

After talking about that...and finding out how difficult it is to find a pictorial history of Olympic medals while the Olympics are in progress...I managed to find all the medals given out since the onset of the Modern Games...dating back to 1896. Talking about a let down - they gave the winner a silver coin and a laurel branch. The runners-up...only got the branch.

While branches wither and die...unfortunately, these medals live on...

Designed by Lalique -- Albertville's 1992 Winter Olympics medal:

I didn't know that "crop circles" was a Winter Olympic event...I'd have guessed it was a Summer one -- Grenoble 1968:

Sapporo, if I remember correctly, was where those cute little snow monkeys liked sitting in the hot springs. Apparently, they also designed their wacky Winter Olympics medals as well:

You thought monkeys designing medals was a bad idea, right? No, you are wrong...having your two-year-old kid design one on their Magna-Doodle is worse. I present to you, Lillehammer's 1994 Ski Jumping medal...if you look at the jumper as if they are going in the other direction...it looks like a Zombie on skis. While I'm thinking that would have been a really awesome medal design...they had others...for each of the Winter events. This one is, by far, the best:

Hey, cool...I always did wonder what they did with all those old Korean coins...kind of odd they gave them out at the 2006 Turin games in Italy, tho:

You can't really tell - but these Vancouver 2010 medals were all misshapen and did not lie flat...they were also made with recycled electronic waste materials for their base. I guess that's one way to get rid of your country's toxic garbage:

Nothing screams Olympic games like "naked guy on a medal", as after all, the ancient games were played in the nude. London's 1908 and Stockholm's 1912 games both featured identical full metal porn:

Not to be outdone in the porn category, the medal in the 1924 Paris Summer games...well, I'm sorry -- I'm just hoping that they are only shaking hands:

There was a long stretch of time where the medals showed more tasteful depictions of winning...but then the 1972 Munich games came and went with much heartbreak. While they will also be remembered by stellar performances by American swimmer, Mark Spitz, and Soviet gymnast, Olga Korbut, they will, unfortunately, always be marred by human tragedy and not "naked aliens on a medal" only tragedy, like they rightfully should have been:

Thanks to "BBC News - London 2012: Olympic Medals Timeline" for all the Olympic medal-abilia.  Go and check out the link -- it's absolutely fascinating and fun!

 

(I have been wondering if the 2012 London games' medals are the largest in diameter [85 mm], as they certainly take up a lot of chest space...but they are not -- the 2009 Turin games takes the top spot with 107 mm medals.  Also, not to take any glory away from Michael Phelps...but in my mind, Mark Spitz will always be remembered first.)