Day 28: And then my brain exploded

Well, it is the last day of this month-long blog-fest over at "We Work for Cheese" and I've managed to plunk out all but two days' worth of them...so go on over there and see what we've each accomplished. 

 

Just a little (more like a lot) about myself regarding this month-long thing.  We were all given the same "prompts" - a word or words which we would incorporate somehow or another into our daily blogs.  I know it might seem incomprehensible, but I managed not to peek at the "word-of-the-day" until just before writing each day's blog...which, I would write at about 4:00-7:00 in the morning, mostly whilst watching the Olympics (hence the strong Olympic overtone in many of them).

 

I, like those Olympians, loved the challenge -- I liked to see what I could come up with in roughly 30 minutes to an hour.  Most times I would look at the word(s) and then an idea would spring to mind and I'd start typing...usually it went in a completely different direction than my original thought.  I like that things like that can happen inside my very own head. 

Coming up with that first word is supposedly the hardest, and I've known people to get some serious writer's block doing so. I used to be that way when I was younger, altho from an early age I knew I wanted to be a writer.  I loved short stories and, in my opinion, Ray Bradbury was the best at doing them. 

 

I had an English teacher once, oh, geez...maybe in 5th or 6th grade, whose name escapes me now -- but he gave me the highest compliment you can bestow upon a would-be writer of 12 or 13-years old.  

He asked me: "Where did you copy this from?"

 

Now, that might seem like a silly thing to ask -- considering in this day and age, you'd just pop online and copy/paste some portion of the text and find out if someone copied it.  Back then, it wasn't so easy.  Teachers couldn't know everything...and I certainly could have gotten something out of some obscure book and written it down and turned it in with my name on it.

 

So, when I was asked that question...I replied that I didn't copy it.  The teacher looked at me in utter amazement and asked, "Really?" I'm sure he had his fair share of liars over the years saying they didn't, but, I didn't...and I stood my ground.  He then said to me, and I'll never forget his words (even if I did manage to forget his name):  "Wow, you should be a writer...this is really good."

 

I was happy as a little clam and, in the following years, I would forgo taking study halls and lunches and gleefully filled up my classes with more English classes.  Not those English classes where you have to know what the "past present pluragative of a subjugated non-plussed noun" was, but actual "writing" courses.

 

I was all set to whisk off one of my stories to Omni Magazine...because back then they'd actually solicit submissions -- when the worst possible thing that could happen, happened. 

They published a Ray Bradbury story...and then one from another well-known sci-fi writer -- and then yet another.  My dreams were dashed, they'd never use some silly 15-year-old girl from New Jersey's stuff now...not when they had the likes of this stuff to choose from.  I pushed my pen aside after high school and that was it. 

 

Then, one day, many years later, I was sitting around making small talk to a little kid while his brother and my daughter were at a Science Olympiad (there's that word again) competition. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, you know, the quintessential question every grown-up asks a kid...and he shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't know.  He seemed a bit embarrassed by the fact that a child of his "advanced" age, which was probably about twelve, had absolutely no clue yet. I remarked about how silly it was to ask children what they wanted to be when they grew up anyway...because pretty much no one really knows what they want to be when they're that young.  I told him that I did, however, know one kid who was always saying he wanted to be a "political speech writer" when he grew up...and we'd kinda look at him and go "Uh, okay, Eddie."  I then continued and said, "You know, when I was little, I wanted to be a writer, too." 

 

Then I went silent.

 

It dawned on me, that my tiny young self...knew what I wanted to do -- but, my grown-up self never did.  And, when everything was all said and done...I still wanted to be a writer.  Why I hadn't realized until then was anyone's guess.

 

It wasn't the greatest revelation; I mean it wasn't like I could tell you, "And then my brain exploded!" -- altho, being that I was at a science competition, it would have been the right place for it...and it probably would have been awesome, you know...for the other people to witness...kinda like one of those volcanoes everyone makes with the lava spurting out on top...but it wasn't even that type of science competition anyway, so it's probably for the best that it never happened.

 

But, it still amuses me sometimes when I sit here and think, because I do think about it a lot...and I will never know what would have happened had I just slipped one of my stories inside an envelope, slapped some stamps on it, and sent it off to Omni.  I'll never know if they would have bit.  It only would have taken one bite, too - and my whole world would have turned out differently.

 

Yep, I'll never know what would have happened, but you could be damned sure if they HAD published one of my stories...you wouldn't be reading this crap right now! 

As for Eddie...you know...that silly kid I told you about who wanted to be a political speech writer when he was like in 6th grade...and 7th...and 8th...and so on?  Well, I think this about sums it up: 

 

As for "writer's block" -- I actually have no problem whatsoever coming up with the first word to start it all...it's the ones after that which are the hardest for me.  I really need to stop talking about being a writer one day -- and be one.

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Thanks again to Nicky at her lovely blog, "We Work for Cheese", for giving me the opportunity all this month to enjoy a little bit of self-publicity, which, if you know me -- you know that I love nothing better. Well, okay, maybe I would love a chance to write a movie script...or a book...or...okay, I'm doing it again, aren't I?  Sorry.  

I managed to sneak in today's prompt, which was "And then my brain exploded" and the two I missed earlier on this month, which were "One bite" and "Liars".  I feel so utterly complete now.  

Lastly, I would like to take the opportunity to say to Ed Gillespie (who probably doesn't remember me at all): "Good luck with your Senate bid. I hope I didn't embarrass you too much by mentioning your name here. I know everyone (myself included) from your home town of Browns Mills, New Jersey, are so incredibly proud of you.  Here's wishing you only the best to you and your family...and, if you ever need a political joke writer...well, I'm here."  

  

Day 25: Social Media

(Tara Lipinksi and Johnny Weir - 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Figure Skating Commentators)

 

The whole time I'm watching the Olympics...and it was a LONG time I watched it (on two different channels - nite and day)...I'm thinking "Sochi Olympics" + "Social Media" = "Sochial Media" - but they never once said it.

 

They said their little Twitters were trending...going on and on about what Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were wearing when they gave their Figure Skating reports...but not ONE time did I hear them utter "Sochial Media".

 

Seriously...what the hell was wrong with them? 

 

Anyway...the Olympics are over and damn...damn...they put on a great Closing Ceremony show...and they even poked fun of themselves with the last Olympic ring not opening (technical issue at the Opening Ceremony...the fifth ring never "blossomed" into a ring like the others).  I loved it!  The giant life-like Teddy-Ruxpinesque bear was...it was...I don't know.  How did they make it move like that?  I swear it was like they had a giant guy in a bear costume.  I'm bowled over.  I don't know who thinks of these spectacular sets and choreography and whatnot...but I do know one thing...

 

...they didn't think of "Sochial Media"!

 

Grumble grumble...

 

...but I have to admit - Tara and Johnny...you guys rocked! (I'm sure they are reading this blog right now...that's why I addressed them here.)  Loved his clothes.  Loved...loved...loved every single outfit. And they were both soooooo fun together...such natural chemistry. I hope they ditch Scott Hamilton and whoever that other guy was - next time around.  In fact, I hope they pair them up in every single Olympics...everything...everything. I don't care if it's diving or gymnastics...curling or bobsled...Summer or Winter games.  Get rid of everyone else and hire these two for every single thing!  They were great!  Plus they shut up when the skaters danced.  They knew better.  My ears are still ringing from Scott Hamilton's banshee-like screeches -- with his yelling at the top of his lungs over the music...and I have tinnitus!  He makes Sam Kinison's voice sound melodic in comparison.  Make it stop!  Make it stop! Please God, please...make it stop!  (Yes, God is reading my blog, too.)

 

Whew!  I am done now with my little rant.

Now...go on over to "We Work for Cheese" and see what everyone else came up with for today's "Social Media" prompt.

Day 14: It has to be aliens

I apologize profusely ahead of time to all Russians, Serbians, Latvians, Asians, and Belgians.  I started out writing something totally different and then the second paragraph it changed...so I had to go with it.  That's how my little mind works...and the dialect might be way off, but in my head it worked. The prompt for today is "It has to be aliens" - which can be found at "We Work for Cheese".  We are halfway through the "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" exercise in all things futile and nerve bending...but I enjoy the hell out of it!

Here's a Valentine's Day story for everyone:

Alexei Petrokova was convalescing in a hospital in Lower Manhattan when his sweetheart of 25 years ago learned of his condition.

"I turned on the radio and there was the Sting's song, 'Englishman in New York' -- when I heard the words 'I'm an alien - I'm a legal alien.  I'm an Englishman in New York.' I thought of my beloved and wondered where on this Earth he might be." said Romaramaria Slokovenkstya on Tuesday.  And I felt the strong urge, is how you say it?  I went online and there he was...my Alexei."

"We were once inseparable...but the war came to our little village and cleaved us in two.  He went off to join his comrades to fight and I was left with but a remembrance.  I remember when we first met...this song, this hauntingly beautiful song...it came on the radio, and I did not understand the language except for the words "New York" and "alien".  We fell in love that same minute when it came on the radio in our little home town of Bisnyark.  I remember Alexei singing "I'm an Enkrishmank in Bishnyark" and we laughed and laughed over our very strong drink. For three days we were lovers...in spirit alone...and we vowed with our first kiss that it would not be our last."

"Alas, that was the last I saw of him...I moved far away with an arranged marriage to help my family soon after.  I never saw him again until I chanced happening on the...what do you call it...the Facebook?  My friend, she send me this photograph and I cried out, 'Constantine, come look...come look!'  I could not believe my eyes.  My eyes welled with the tears as my eyes met his in the photo.  It was like when we first met...I can not start to tell you of the joy it brings in my heart." Slokovenkstya continued.

"My Constantine...he, he was not so happy.  It is hard to be happy when the song on the radio when we first met was "My Bologna" by the Strange Yaknovic or something. But as he is probably a fellow Bisnyarkian, I know not for certain, but he or his singing group...it has to be aliens, too, no?"

"So, I plan to go to New York to be reunited with 'My Enkrishmank', my first love.  I just hope the eyes of his heart feel the same for mine."

Day 11: Succubus

"I tell ya, she comes in the night and steals my breath."

"No, she doesn't, honey...you just didn't use your CPAP machine again."

Okay...that's my entry for Day 11 on We Work for Cheese's "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" thingy -- the prompt being "Succubus".

(Kelsey Grammer and Bebe Neuwirth as Frasier and Lilith in "Frasier") 

As a side note:  Whenever I think of the word "succubus" (and I think of it more times than you'd imagine) I think of Lilith (the name of Frasier's ex-wife played by Bebe Neuwirth), and then I think of "Frasier" and then I get very, very sad because (in my opinion) it was THE best comedy show ever written and the creator/writer, and driving force behind the show, David Angell, was senselessly killed when the plane he was aboard struck the first Twin Tower in the 9/11 tragedy.  Such a waste...such a complete and utter waste of so many lives that day.
 

So, I will stop thinking of that and return to watching "Men's Curling" going on right now in Sochi, Russia, at the Winter Olympics.

Did I mention that I love the Olympics?

 

Day 8: Damn

To everyone who is using the Olympics as an agenda to gripe about something...

 

...shut your damn mouths!

 

These athletes have worked years to get this opportunity - and most of them...this will be their ONLY opportunity to be in an Olympic event.  They have no say whatsoever about where the event is held...nor how the host country's government works.  Their job is to come there and put their best effort on display...and hope it's good enough.  They seriously do not need to read all the mean comments online talking about "...if the athletes had any compassion, they would refuse to participate...blah blah...refuse..."  How about YOU have the compassion to realize they had nothing to do with the political issues...nor the dog issues...nor whatever other issues there are.  If you feel so strongly about an issue with certain things regarding these Olympics, write to the people who are in charge of it...don't make the athletes feel like they are lower than scum for participating.  That's so wrong...and, turn around and look at yourself in a mirror...guess what?  YOU are being a bully.

 

So, shut your damn mouths! 

 

I know every little girl is supposed to dream about being a princess...I always dreamt of winning an Olympic gold medal.

 

God, I love the Olympics.

 

And the Opening Ceremony was beautiful.  The most outstanding use of glow sticks I have ever seen in my entire life...and probably ever will see.  It was just so gorgeous.

 

Those of you complaining about the one snowflake not opening into a ring? 

 

Shut your damn mouths!

 

You try to pull off one of these "Opening Ceremony" things without something going wrong.  Seriously.  In fact, I bet some of you couldn't program your VCR clock to make it stop flashing "12:00" the entire time you owned it...yet you feel compelled to whine about the snowflake. Ugh.

 

And, lastly...to CNN sending me "Breaking News" emails without putting "Olympic Results" in the subject line...and to AOL's main screen telling me who just won a medal...and to any other news media sources who don't have the brains enough to realize they haven't aired the competition on television yet...so we might not want to know who won ahead of time...

 

...SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS!

 

 

Okay...I'm done now.  :

 

Happy Olympic viewing everyone!  :)

 

(This was my entry for today's "Damn" prompt. The rest of the participating writers can be found by clicking the "We Work For Cheese" link.  Enjoy!)  

Challenging the Gold

When I was younger, one of my dreams was to write a book...the other was to win a gold medal at the Olympics. So far, I'm pretty much 0 for 0...which isn't bad considering some people out there who won a gold medal in the Olympics didn't really win gold ones...and some...they probably just keep in the box on their mantle behind that commemorative plate of Charles and Diana. (Hey...it's being held in London...I thought I'd "Brit" it up a bit.)

Each Olympics they basically give someone the incredible honour of designing that year's Olympic medal...and when you think of gold medals, you usually (if you are old like me) have the image of Mark Spitz' gold-laden chest indelibly stamped into your brain.

Some Olympic medals...eh...not all that photogenic.

This got me thinking (when I was talking to a friend) that I remember one of the medals a few years back which basically was this chunk of crystal. Yeah, crystal might be nice in chandeliers and fancy wine glasses...but, me personally, would have been highly let down if I won a gold medal predominantly made of high end glass. "Cheers!" Sigh...it's not only made of glass...but it's ugly. I spent a dozen years of my life training to win something I might break if I drop it?? Great. Thanks Olympic medal picker people...thanks for shattering my dream and making it look like something the luge gouged out.

After talking about that...and finding out how difficult it is to find a pictorial history of Olympic medals while the Olympics are in progress...I managed to find all the medals given out since the onset of the Modern Games...dating back to 1896. Talking about a let down - they gave the winner a silver coin and a laurel branch. The runners-up...only got the branch.

While branches wither and die...unfortunately, these medals live on...

Designed by Lalique -- Albertville's 1992 Winter Olympics medal:

I didn't know that "crop circles" was a Winter Olympic event...I'd have guessed it was a Summer one -- Grenoble 1968:

Sapporo, if I remember correctly, was where those cute little snow monkeys liked sitting in the hot springs. Apparently, they also designed their wacky Winter Olympics medals as well:

You thought monkeys designing medals was a bad idea, right? No, you are wrong...having your two-year-old kid design one on their Magna-Doodle is worse. I present to you, Lillehammer's 1994 Ski Jumping medal...if you look at the jumper as if they are going in the other direction...it looks like a Zombie on skis. While I'm thinking that would have been a really awesome medal design...they had others...for each of the Winter events. This one is, by far, the best:

Hey, cool...I always did wonder what they did with all those old Korean coins...kind of odd they gave them out at the 2006 Turin games in Italy, tho:

You can't really tell - but these Vancouver 2010 medals were all misshapen and did not lie flat...they were also made with recycled electronic waste materials for their base. I guess that's one way to get rid of your country's toxic garbage:

Nothing screams Olympic games like "naked guy on a medal", as after all, the ancient games were played in the nude. London's 1908 and Stockholm's 1912 games both featured identical full metal porn:

Not to be outdone in the porn category, the medal in the 1924 Paris Summer games...well, I'm sorry -- I'm just hoping that they are only shaking hands:

There was a long stretch of time where the medals showed more tasteful depictions of winning...but then the 1972 Munich games came and went with much heartbreak. While they will also be remembered by stellar performances by American swimmer, Mark Spitz, and Soviet gymnast, Olga Korbut, they will, unfortunately, always be marred by human tragedy and not "naked aliens on a medal" only tragedy, like they rightfully should have been:

Thanks to "BBC News - London 2012: Olympic Medals Timeline" for all the Olympic medal-abilia.  Go and check out the link -- it's absolutely fascinating and fun!

 

(I have been wondering if the 2012 London games' medals are the largest in diameter [85 mm], as they certainly take up a lot of chest space...but they are not -- the 2009 Turin games takes the top spot with 107 mm medals.  Also, not to take any glory away from Michael Phelps...but in my mind, Mark Spitz will always be remembered first.)

Foreign Thoughts

Okay - first off, I am not a racist, nor someone who jumps to any type of conclusions about what you eat, what you watch, which church you go to, who you sleep with, what politician you like, how attractive you are, what your weight is, etc. Basically if you are nice to me - I'll be nice back and I don't care if you are pink, purple, beige, blue, brown, yellow, or orange. I really don't mind. I never have.

But tonite, after stopping at Starbucks to get my daughter a mochachocolatte, there were two men outside the building conversing with a foreign accent...speaking a foreign language. One was younger...the other about 20 years older. I don't know what language they were speaking - coulda been Arabic, coulda been Serbian...didn't sound Swedish and it certainly wasn't French or Spanish.

The bad thing is - I got into my car and mentioned to my daughter something about "Hope they're not terrorists." It wasn't exactly that - but it was along those lines. Then I stopped myself and told her how incredibly bad it was that I was thinking that...just based on the fact they were two men of a nationality which undoubtedly gets a lot of suspicious glances nowadays, i.e., they didn't look like the blonde guys who sang that "Take On Me" song.

Ordinarily I wouldn't have thought this - I grew up in Jersey - and many people were of Polish, Italian, and whatnot descent. I just kinda disgusted myself and wanted to share. How terrible it is to automatically think terrible thoughts because I've been conditioned by the media to fear someone who looks a certain way. Granted, terrorists did some heinous crimes and I don't discount those...but, to think that of these two guys outside a Starbucks just because they are "different" from me...just annoys me.

I grew up in a time (I was born in 1960) where the 1970s saw its share of plane hijackings, bombings in airports and the horrible massacre of Olympic athletes during the 1972 Munich games. I can never remove the image (or the name) of ABC news reporter, Bill Stewart, forced to kneel on the ground after being pulled from a van and then shot in the head. Why I have that one etched into my memory is beyond me. I guess it was because it was shown over and over on television at the time...and the shock of seeing a life one second and a death the next...has stayed with me. Just like images of people jumping out of the World Trade Center buildings...it's not something you can just erase.

And now I can't erase this impulse thinking I have in my head...and what was probably a pleasant conversation outside a coffee shop makes me anxious and I hope and pray nothing bad was actually going on.

That...to me...is sad.

And to those two men -- I apologize.

A Different Type of Olympics

On the way home today I jokingly said to my daughter, "Well, you and Apolo Ohno have something in common." She replied, "What?" and I said, "Well, you both really screwed up in the Olympics."

It's no secret I adore Ohno...and, altho he did touch the one guy...eh, maybe a gentle nudge...but the Canadian guy did the same and he medalled - Apolo should have as well. Or, at the very least, they both should have been disqualified.

But I digress.

Today (Saturday) my daughter also was in an Olympiad competition: the Alabama Science Olympiad. If you don't know what that is, no problem...I'll enlighten you.

Kids from various schools study their butts off to take tests and build contraptions on their "off time" and trudge on up to venues in the wee hours of the morning; this time at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, and compete for gold, silver and bronze...and the added glory of having their school place 1st, 2nd or 3rd overall.

All in all, it's an epic event and any child who participates, regardless of whether they win a medal or not...should be very, very proud indeed.

Oh, did I mention that their teachers expend countless hours of their own time and so do coaches? And parents quizzing their kids and helping their kids in between homework and regular tests and quizzes? Well, that, too.

The determination and the stamina of these kids really should be applauded. I went to the sprawling campus and watched as children (mostly of the high school variety) ran clear across campus in order to make it to the next event. Cell phones were employed to shuttle alternates to buildings which housed competitions which shut their doors to competitors who showed up after the designated hour. Scurrying around to get the proper paperwork (you can't get in to participate without your form) from students who were still shut in - in a prior event...because it was running late...knowing they were, in essence, forfeiting their own chance of medalling...all in the aspiration of teamwork and the overall good of their school.

No one wants to go home empty-handed...but everyone can't win. Even with 20-plus events, and three medals each...there's many more participants than places on the podium.

And I have to think back to the "real" Olympics. There are literally dozens upon dozens...I have no clue how many...countries which participate...and most walk away...empty-handed; but that doesn't stop them. I don't think I've seen anyone from Syria ever win anything (not saying they haven't)...or Vietnam...or Portugal. The top medal count always seems to have USA and Russia in it...but then again, they send like 200 athletes each - poor little Trinidad & Tobago probably have three.

Just like at the competition today...some schools had dozens and some had a couple...but that didn't deter their spirit. The cheers were just as loud...the glory just as great...and the defeat just as heart-breaking - and the perseverance just as prevalent.

And, no, in case you were wondering...my daughter didn't medal in her two events (she has, in the past, walked away with at least one in all the previous years she'd competed) - but I'm just as proud of her.

Sure, I would have been beaming from ear-to-ear had she whooped Montgomery's LAMP School Team 1 and Team 2 (geez...those kids were awesome...seriously awesome) - but, you know what...she shone, in my eyes, just as bright as any gold medal would have.

All the students did.

Apolo's got nothing on these kids. Ohno...yep...I said it. ;)

The Beauty of the Olympics

Okay, is it just me - or are a lot of these women in the Winter Olympics this year just drop dead gorgeous?

I've watched Olympics for years, and sure, there was the occasional pretty woman...like ice skating's Katarina Witt from Germany...but this year...wow!

USA's skiier, Lindsey Vonn, is just stunning:

Torah Bright looks more like Elle MacPherson's younger sister than an Australian snowboarder:



And Pre-Raphaelite beauty, Lindsey Jacobellis, also a snowboarder (from the USA)...is downright captivating:

I tell you, these women are SO hot...I don't know how the snow doesn't melt beneath their feet.

I'll be on the lookout for more "ice princesses" in the days and events to come. It's just too bad there's no real eye candy for the girls -- except for Apolo Ohno (who is still darned cute as a button) and Russian silver medalist ice skater, Evgeni Plushenko. Yeah...I've always been partial to Russian gymnasts and skaters in the Olympics...I don't know what that is about...but oooh - they could melt my little cold heart any day. ;)

All I'm saying is - if there isn't already a 2010 "Winter Olympics Women's Calendar"...there sure should have been. And, if I were a guy...I'd be buying me a snowboard right about now.

Olympic Musings III...aka "The Winter Games"

I am not sure how many people have been keeping up with my blogs...but for the sake of those who haven't -- I love the Olympics.

I always have and I probably always will.

I've been watching these things as far back as I can remember clearly - and that would be the 1968 Olympics (yes, I know I am old). And, as the games are on right now, I'm watching them as I write.

But there's a few things I have to mention regarding them before I go insane:

It's pronounced Biathlon...it's THREE syllables - not FOUR. See? http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/audio.pl?biathl02=biathlon There's no second "a" in it to make it Biathalon...even though, I must say, it sounds better that way. But, if you MUST say it, oh, like in a newscast...um Montgomery newscasters...please, for the love of all things sacred AND the English language...at least go look it up first.

And while I pick on Montgomery (as I've heard them say it wrong each time) they're not the only guilty ones, as some commentators AT the Olympics have been saying it wrong as well. But then again, they've hired people like Pat O'Brien, who, even if you don't count his smarmy sex-scandal fiasco, was about as annoying as they come. Sometimes I wonder if the average IQ of their commentators is a 5.8...you know, if you throw out the low score (typically anyone talking during the ice dancing competition) and throw out the high score (Bob Costas).

In fact, if it wasn't for Bob Costas single-handedly saving the show with his immeasurable talent and genial appeal alone, we'd be left to such riveting commentary as:

"Ooooh, that's gonna hurt them." Said anytime anyone falls in any sport. Really? So, "screwing up" isn't yet an Olympic sport??

"You really don't want to do that in an Olympic competition." As if, sub-par performances are totally acceptable during the nationals...or the world championships.

And my personal favourite...

"Well, Jim, he really wants to win it this time." As opposed to NOT wanting to win all the other times he's competed. Ugh.

And, seriously, how much money does Morgan Freeman need? And is Visa really the only card accepted at any Olympic game? So, there are actually Lithuanian and Slovenian Visa cards? I always wondered about this.

Oh, I'll wonder about that later and Google it. But for now I must get back to watching the games and the athletes...which, by the way, is only a two-syllable word. ;)

More Olympic Musings aka Olympic Musings II

Some more Olympic meanderings...

It seems to me that it isn't the safest job in the world to be the guy who stands out in the field while they throw the discus, hammer or javelin. The shot put doesn't seem to be that terrible - but that discus seems it could go anywhere...even hitting one of the people running by who are doing the other events. All that guy has to do is get some vertigo or trip up while he's spinning around to toss it and it ends up walloping someone in the head. No thanks...I'll stick to being the gymnastics "bar spotter" (oh go read my first part).

Then I present to you - two multi-part Olympic events and my thoughts regarding them...

Triathlon: A competition comprised of three events. The events and official distance for them is thus: 1.5 km swim (almost a mile), a 40 km (almost 25 miles) cycle and a 10 km (over 6 miles) run. (Yes, I added the feet in because I just can't fathom what the distance is without feet, yards and miles involved...I am metric impaired.)

Decathlon: A competition of ten events - broken out below.

Day 1:

100 meters (328 feet)
Long Jump
Shot Put
High Jump
400 meters (1312 feet)

Day 2:

110 meter hurdles
Discus
Pole Vault
Javelin
1500 meters (almost a mile)

So, the way I figure it - the Decathlete has it way easier. When you add up all those distances - they don't even jump, run or throw anywhere near the distance the Triathelete does - yet they get all the glory - PLUS they do it in two days instead of back-to-back-to-back like the Triatheletes. Where is the justice? How many Triatheletes have you ever seen on a Wheaties box? How many can you name? There...my point is now made. :) Now just for fun, a bonus question: How many Heptathlon winners can you name? Again...my point exactly.

More random stuff that popped out of my head...

The Steeplechase: Typically this seems like a race a horse should be doing...you go over the same type of obstacles - the gates don't flop over like hurdles do - so you can actually vault off them with your foot if you really wanted instead of clearing them totally...plus there's also a water jump...like the horses do. Seems either the horse event or the human even should be retitled...or at the very least make the human competitors carry a small monkey on their backs or something. I'm betting it would get a lot more NBC coverage if they added the monkeys.

Sports vs Competitions: There are a lot of events at the Olympics which seem to get peoples' ire up over the single fact they don't consider them a "sport" per se. Now...one can contest this until the cows come home, which, incidentally, is not any event IN the Olympics that I know of. Some people have been telling me that Women's Rhythmic Gymnastics - you know the one with the ball, ribbon or hula hoop type things...is not a sport. I counter with "well, Beach Volleyball isn't a sport either" - my justification volley (yeah, that was meant as a pun) goes something like this: "How can that be an Olympic sport? I mean...[possible] time outs for "desanding", wearing hats backwards and playing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" between volleys? That last one alone should disqualify it."

My friend and I were talking about clarification of what exactly constitutes the events that are in the Olympics and are some actually not sports? I told him I thought it might be like that Wide World of Sports voiceover would always say "The human drama of athletic competition..." Merriam-Webster Online defines "sport" as: 1 a: a source of diversion : recreation b: sexual play c (1): physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in. Even watching Olympics late nite...I've never seen anything they televised remotely coming close to that "b" one (at least not on NBC). So, while some things are clearly sports...using teams and balls...some are clear winner one-against-one...such as races and archery and such...and some are scored against others you are still competing against even though you aren't competing against them at the same time...such as gymnastics, diving and ice skating. So that got me trying to find out exactly what the Olympic's basis for allowing a sport/event - and while I didn't find any real 'cut and dried' criteria, I did find this if you are interested: Lots of rules regarding the Olympics. No word yet on Olympic dart throwing and NASCAR.

And while we were talking on the phone, the marathon was run and diving resumed...and I mentioned how great Greg Louganis was and how remiss I was for leaving him out of my "all-time favourites" list in my last blogumn. Ironically, as soon as I mentioned him, Visa featured him in a commercial. That man could dive and I got to see him in the 1988 Seoul, Korea Olympics...in fact I have photos of him in the preliminaries (I didn't get to see him in the finals) and I was there when he hit his head on the diving board...and he STILL managed to win gold in the end. Best diver ever. Ever.

And is it just me but does the "Bird's Nest" stadium remind anyone else of one of those giant rubber band balls? At some angles it also looks like it's Duck (duct) Tape...which would be apropos because...well, a duck IS a bird.

Maybe more later...

Olympic Musings

First off - an excuse...I've been dealing with a stabbing ice-pick headache for the last few days...so if this makes no sense and I find out later and you find out before me...I apologize. But considering this idea's been sitting in the back burner of my mind since the second day of the Olympics and the time is waning...I'm going to jump while the iron in that burner's still hot.


I LOVE the Olympics (Summer and Winter)...I have since the 1968 games. When they grace my screen, I stay glued to it watching everything and anything they throw at me...from those "gotta see" events like gymnastics, swimming (how about that Phelps!) and ice skating to the ones that make you go "hmmmm" - like Men's Synchronized Diving and Women's Synchronized Swimming...to the "Ski a Bit...Shoot a Bit" competition I only have a vague idea of the name (Biathlon - "thank you", Google)...to Curling, which has GOT to be the oddest of all Olympic "sports" out there. Somehow I think boredom and booze were involved coming up with that one. But, last Winter Olympics - I watched Curling...and it seemed to get its 15 minutes of fame and glory - at least everyone was talking about it...due to the actual airing of the event. That "leftover 'Whatizit' element" - probably artfully tied in somehow during their commentary when they did their backstories. Eh...probably not. Let's move on...

And for my money (not that I'm buying anything NBC's advertising)...other than the late great Jim McKay, you just can't beat Bob Costas as a host. He's informative, intelligent, silly enough to seem like's actually being genuine while being silly, and darnit, he's still pleasant on the eyes (even with the darker hair). But first and foremost the show and his sporadic interviews with various athletes is not about him - it's about them and he is an unpretentious sort and not an opportunistic attention grabber like that irritating weasel, Pat O'Brien was when he covered the Olympics. I cringed each time he showed up because it was going to be HIS interview - no matter the subject matter...it always segued into "the show about him".

But there are some things which always stay the same...and things that always make me go "hmmmm" - so since I am now watching platform diving...I thought I'd take the platform myself and share some of my own personal Olympic meanderings and musings...

First off, the sideline comments:

There are rule books the judges use, the officials use, the participants use...but there should be one the reporters and commentators also use. One that deals with cliches and just plain dumb verbiage. In other words - sporting vernacular they always fall back on which makes everyone else cringe or go "NO...REALLY?? It also begs the question, "Do they even bother to know how silly it's going to sound before they say it?"

Oh, I'm not saying I could do any better...altho I think I'd jot down some "pre-event" comments before I went on the air and then tried to work them in instead of the others. You'd think a big network would say..."Could you possibly refrain from using the following utterances? (Hands list to them.) Please?"

Keep in mind these are things which highly paid people say during the Olympic broadcast (and have for years) and, just because it's my blogumn, some of my comments after...

"Oooh, that's gonna cost him."

"I don't think he meant to do that."

"He really didn't want to do that during this competition."

"What's going through their mind right now?" (Before, during, and after winning or losing any event.)

"She hasn't been able to do this all week..." Promptly followed by either "...but she managed to do it this time" or "...and she still didn't". It's witty banter like this which secures their place in the annals of broadcasting history, right up there with the "oh the humanity" guy.

And I don't know about you, but if I hear one more reporter say "He really wants to win this thing"... Noooooo, really?? I thought he was trying for fifth, ya moron. And then there's the "geez, ya think??" factor for the ever popular "Oooooh, he's going to regret doing that the rest of his life".

And now...some random Olympic thoughts:

The guy who lifts the guy up at the high bar in men's gymnastics...just what does he shout to the guy who's doing the routine? "Yes...that's it - now swing around again...and again...okay, that's good...don't forget to grab the bar...now go around again...now get ready to let go...but only when I tell ya." I mean, you'd figure the gymnast already knows his routine...and it's not like he's relaying key information like "Hurry up...the guy swimming next to you is catching up!" or anything. I'm kinda curious as to what they say.

And why don't they have balance beam spotters? Do you only get a spotter when there's a bar involved? The men's high bar has one and the women's uneven bars does...why not a rings spotter? And doesn't this "back seat driver of the bar" get on the gymnast's nerves? Each time they do any move - the "bar guy" inches up a foot and then retreats...inches up again...flinches...puts his arms up...down again...then steps back. You'd think it would be like the guy yelling just when the golfer's going to make his putt. Plus I've never seen them stop anyone from falling. When the gymnast misses...they end up splatting on the ground...not really like the "bar guys" are that much help if you ask me.

Can they call a time out in order to get the sand out of their bottoms during Beach Volleyball? And if so...just what does the hand signal for that look like? (Oh...trust me, I made one up...it's pretty good.)

Shouldn't there be Olympic "do-overs"? When someone trips you from another team...say, hypothetically...when you are Great Britain and Jamaica comes into your lane and bumps into you when they're passing their baton. That really isn't good. By that adage...they could possibly team up like in NASCAR. Get two teams in the finals - have one smash into the one who poses the biggest threat...so you can run off with the gold. Seems plausible. Not that I'm saying they do it - but I have seen missteps in quite a few Olympics...from the Zola Budd/Mary Decker incident...to, well, this one tonight. It's never fair - and I think they should have "do-overs". At least let the "wronged" people do it over...I'm not saying everyone has to start over - but sheesh...let them have their shot.

If some athletes like to take banned drugs and swipe the glory away from the true-deserving competitors (sometimes years after the fact) - why don't they just have a "Steroid Olympics"? Heck, I'd watch that for sure. Just think of the arms being pulled off during weightlifting and the records being broken and how itty bitty the men's Speedos could be with all the ...oh, c'mon you DO know the side effects of taking steroids, right?

And can we please only compete in the country in which you were raised for the majority of your life? Not "oh I didn't qualify for Berlique...so I'll go to Upper Slobovia...they have no one...I'll be a shoe-in to make the cut."

Yeah...I know - that last one probably already got me some hate mail...but can we just give the games back to the people who didn't turn pro yet? I mean a cereal box here and again to fund the house your parents mortgaged three years ago so you could afford moving to a place where an Olympic coach trains - is one thing. But when you've been pro for X years and you can now (technically) represent your country in the games just to win a medal that you (ultimately) take away from someone else who isn't pro who'd also like the possibility of a medal...well, that's still unfair and unsporting if you ask me. Yeah...medals are nice - but opportunities are, too. Give the opportunity to a non-pro athlete - there are probably plenty of them out there who'd love to represent their country and could do a darn fine job in the process.

Lastly, since I'm getting hate mail from the last two...might as well go for three. Mark Spitz still ruled and always will in my book. Yes, I know, Michael Phelps is phenomenal. I agree. I really do. But Spitz was magical back in my day...and like one of the commentators said after Phelps won...(and I'm paraphrasing) "Spitz was from 'our generation'" referring to us older viewers who lament Spitz' record being broken. His "our generation" is also MY generation and it is the one of my glory days of my youth - and that youth comprised of Olga Korbut, Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Dorothy Hamill, Franz Klammer (anyone else remember him?) and the incredibly great Toller Cranston (who got cheated out of a gold if you ask me). It always will. It's a bittersweet moment to see it...I knew Phelps was capable...but, secretly I'll admit - I wanted him to tie it. I knew he wouldn't - but to see Spitz "dethroned" considering he didn't swim eight races...seemed - wrong. (And some people were just so incredibly disrespectful if you ask me about the whole ordeal.) Yes, I know...Spitz only swam two strokes and Phelps swam four...but a part of me...again, a part of my youth I wanted so desperately to hang on to...was relinquished. I'm just glad it was by someone who wasn't an arrogant twit. Phelps is so very nice...and no one (in their wrong or right mind) can possibly argue he can't out-swim anyone and everyone...but...I'm still a tad curious just how much slower he might have been had he donned a Speedo and a moustache. ;)