The Write Stuff

I am writing a book.

Yeah, yeah...I know what you're thinking, "What??? She can READ??" Hey, Leno could really use you...talents like that are a "rarity" in the comedic realm...

...but, yes...yes, I can read...to answer your above question...and if Sarah Palin can write *cough cough* a book, well, darmit, so can I.

What I originally thought you were going to think was "but it says in her profile that she's been writing a book...you'd figure she woulda had it done by now"...but, little things like...oh, depression...and my pathetic health issues...and lack of a job...and a marriage that didn't turn out like I envisioned, and no money...and...no real friends (other than online ones)...and the fact that no one beat down my door after I won the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest back in 2003 -- altho they do a reality show now about anything and everything...so I totally missed the boat on that one...and okay, what was my point again?

My book.

I started a book once...when I was about 13. Then I put it down and never really picked it back up again. Then I graduated, got a job, got married, had a couple kids, and one day while on a trip to a Science Olympiad competition my daughter was attending about four years ago - I ended up talking to a fellow parent's child regarding what they might want to do after they graduate (like any kid of 12 or 13-year-old really knows what they want to do with the rest of their life). They just did what I expected...shrugged and said, "Uhhh...I dunno". And I said, "Yep...I know what you mean...when I was your age I had no clue what I wanted to do...in fact, there were only two people I went to school with who did. One wanted to be a dentist...and he went on to be a dentist...and the other was Eddie Gillespie, who wanted to be a political speech writer."

Odd, huh? I mean, c'mon...who the heck's ambition in life in 8th and 9th grade centers around writing speeches for politicians...especially in Browns Mills, New Jersey? Well, for those of you who are curious...here's what he ended up doing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gillespie

Anyway...as I was having this conversation I relayed how I always "wanted to be a writer"...and then it dawned on me, not unlike a ton of bricks, that geez...I just wasted like 30 years wondering what I wanted to do with my life (other than the role of being a mother...which I always wanted to be)...only to find out I KNEW when I was just a kid.

Imagine my initial shock and subsequent "Eureka moment" after the realization of time wasted consisting primarily of sitting on my butt lamenting my great law career...(I always figured I could find a loophole in anything and thus would be an extreme asset to any corporate entity) only to find out that, like Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz"...I didn't need to go searching anywhere...my "no place like home" was my childhood dream of writing.

What tipped the scales, not of justice...but of determination that I possibly COULD do this, was after I watched a program on A&E's "Biography" - quite some time ago...you know, when A&E actually showed "quality programming". They profiled well-known horror author, Stephen King...whom I never did hold in any high esteem...until after I watched the show...and what he said "literally" changed my mind. He stated that he was determined to write and that he had a game plan: to sit at his typewriter every single night and peck away...for three hours, regardless of what came out. What came out ended up being a "stupid teen angst story" (his words...or something to the effect of) later to be known as "Carrie"...and if it weren't for his wife salvaging it from the trash bin and encouraging him to finish it...well, no one really knows now, do they?

So, I've gotten back in the saddle again...and instead of relying on someone to "co-author" with me (like I did once before), I'm going to sit back and try to go this one alone. I figure if I peck away each night and churn out three pages, I'd have something to edit and re-edit...and further re-edit in about four months.

And, as King had his wife...I have my kids. I told my son the other day of my idea - consisting of the general outline of the book...and...he thought it was GOOD! That might not mean anything to you, but...my son never thinks anything I write is good. It's always "lame", "it's emo", "it's pathetic"...and a few other choice words and phrases I won't go into detail about here. I don't think I've ever written a blog to elicit any other response out of him...so when I told him of the plot I wasn't expecting anything other than the usual. But, he said it was good! He even read what I'd written so far - and praised it...he even went so far as to give me some ideas.

My daughter is helping as well - playing my conscience...always trying to light the fire under my butt..."You REALLY need to start writing your book again before someone else comes up with your idea." And she's right. I've got to hunker down and "Stephen King" it. Well, not "It" it...but just plain "it"...oh, you know what I mean.

Biden My Time...or Palin Comparison?

Well, I am not politically-minded. I can't wait until this election is over so I can stop seeing all the political stuff...especially all the blogs just saying the same stuff over and over - or worse yet, just copying the same stuff over and over and popping it in a blog.

Yeah...thank goodness Joseph McCarthy isn't alive as I'd just have put my name in the top of that Communist witch-hunt list with that last comment.

But, I am a curious sort. I haven't watched any Saturday Night Live/Tina Fey impersonation of Sarah Palin. Not because I didn't want to get my opinion swayed...but because I haven't watched SNL in years...yes, can we please put THAT up to a vote? I know one person who watches SNL...and he does so only BECAUSE of Tina Fey. Everyone else says that it's well passed the time we just "stick a fork in it...it's done". But, that's neither here nor there. I'm not debating whether or not I think SNL should be cancelled...at this point the debate on that would be "when SHOULD it have been cancelled?"...but I digress once again...

...I DID watch the debate tonite because I wanted to see...as one reporter said, in essence, "the train wreck we were all waiting for" And what I'm debating is...after the fact, due to a 30 minute TiVo delay, is: sitting here watching the first of the press-scrutinies - on which one won. They haven't gotten this many women reporters out of the woodwork since...well...I don't know when. I'm watching the NBC coverage of it, by the way...so I can't speak for what the other networks are doing...but the only one I haven't seen yet is Cokie Roberts...and probably because she's on another network.

But it seems these women watched a whole other debate than I did. Oh, it's not that I don't like this woman...I don't really know her...so I have no real preconceived perception of her...but what I've seen OF her...well, let's just say it's "Bush-esque". To me, no pun intended, but she "skirted the issues"...and she kept saying the same thing over and over again...if nothing else, I do come away knowing that "John McCain IS a maverick". She must have said it 14 times. It got to be that the only thing that I remember her saying...was that John McCain IS a maverick...and maybe, just maybe, that WAS their point.

Just like that annoying television commercial on television that doesn't tell you anything - but you remember it only because of its repetitive catchphrase...well, she did a fine job advertising her candidate. But, in my opinion, not much else. Sure, she didn't give the "deer in the headlights" look I was anticipating...and I was really anticipating it...but, although she "held her own"...I think just because someone doesn't fall flat on their face isn't grounds to say "she's terrific!"

Biden, on the other hand...seemed to be genial and just was smiling a bit too much for my liking. I kept thinking "oh, don't hold back...I recognize that smile...it's the smile I do when I'm trying to be nice to anyone who 'just doesn't get it'...take off the kid gloves and hit back!" But, he really didn't. Maybe the whole "she's a girl...I can't come off like gangbusters and get into all kinds of stuff with half the voting public" mentality. I don't know.

Personally, I still like Biden better. He's much better on his feet - and it's not only because he didn't wear heels (even my daughter remarked she must have some stamina for standing there in those shoes that whole time)...but maybe Biden is more like me. More outspoken and not a "mouthpiece puppet" for their Presidential counterpart.

I don't know if that's a good thing...but as Biden did mention (and again, I'm paraphrasing), "Obama picked me because I wouldn't be afraid to tell him I disagreed with him" - I really don't want a "Yes-Man" as a VP...even IF that "Yes-Man" so happens to be...a woman.

Now...on to the "REAL" debates...but in the meantime...who do YOU think won? And does it EVEN matter at this level?