And what IS this preoccupation you men people have with breasts? It doesn't matter if they look as fake as two grapefruit halves shoved under some tightly stretched skin...you still crave them. If the woman bleaches her hair to that totally unnatural shade of blonde (c'mon, there's a reason Crayola doesn't have that colour in the box...please pick a shade that actually registers in our spectrum) and then cackles at the top of her lungs like the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz...as long as she's packing some 'boobage'...she can do no wrong.
But when those puppies start going south...
...well, let me give you a scenario which has happened to me a few times. True scenarios. They kinda go like this: "You could always get a tummy tuck and a boob job IF you won the Lottery." "IF you got a boob job you'd be happier." "Would you get a boob job if you could afford it?" And yes...they were all uttered by men.
You know...after living 47 years I'd like to think people are above looking at me below the neck...but it just isn't so. Sure...there are those of you out there with husbands, boyfriends - or ARE husbands and boyfriends...who are probably shaking your heads in disagreement with me right now saying "well, that isn't ME"...well, it might not be YOU...but look around. You are deluding yourself if you don't think that's the prevalent thought in man-stream (and main-stream) society.
I run across nice women every day. Really nice women. Women of all ages. And don't fool yourselves - we talk about you guys. We flat out slam ya. Yup, we do. Oh, if we could take a vote tomorrow to have you guys voted off the island...let me ask just one thing? Have you ever heard of the Amazons in Greek mythology?
Regardless of a bitter hatred of all things men (oh...c'mon, surely I jest), there's a couple other things these women have in common. They are nice, smart, and funny - but they aren't all "Barbie-doll" perfect.
Let me clue all you guys in...most of you aren't up to Antonio Banderas-par neither. But I have yet to hear any woman say "ya know...if he'd only have liposuction or some type of implant..." - and what would you guys say if we started preaching how much better YOU'D feel if YOU had a little work done?
I'm not speaking out of turn. Look at those magazines and Internet celebrity sites all over the place. They pick on Uma Thurman for being a bit "saggy" or Jennifer Love Hewitt for having a big butt. Geez the woman weighs 100 lbs...it's against the laws of physics for her to be ABLE to have a big butt. But I never see "oh look at Matthew McConaughey...he's going to need a pec lift soon", "Brad sure is in desperate need of electrolysis" or "ya know - in retrospect...Sean Connory DID make an unsexy Bond".
Those tables sure are turned when it comes to women and their bodies...no wonder we aren't content...no wonder we feel like we can never live up to our expectations...we can't live up to anyone's. And that is JUST not fair.
We live in a society which tells our daughters to be happy with the body God gave them...that they aren't overweight, that their chests are just the right size and that they will grow into their noses...then we turn around and nip and tuck and shove implants (or wish we could) in our own bodies - or, worse yet, tell our wives or girlfriends to do it...to achieve something we can never get back: our own youth. No, a BETTER youth..."better" than the one we originally had.
We are such hypocrites.
(Part 3 tomorrow...and yes, that will be the conclusion...I promise.)
But when those puppies start going south...
...well, let me give you a scenario which has happened to me a few times. True scenarios. They kinda go like this: "You could always get a tummy tuck and a boob job IF you won the Lottery." "IF you got a boob job you'd be happier." "Would you get a boob job if you could afford it?" And yes...they were all uttered by men.
You know...after living 47 years I'd like to think people are above looking at me below the neck...but it just isn't so. Sure...there are those of you out there with husbands, boyfriends - or ARE husbands and boyfriends...who are probably shaking your heads in disagreement with me right now saying "well, that isn't ME"...well, it might not be YOU...but look around. You are deluding yourself if you don't think that's the prevalent thought in man-stream (and main-stream) society.
I run across nice women every day. Really nice women. Women of all ages. And don't fool yourselves - we talk about you guys. We flat out slam ya. Yup, we do. Oh, if we could take a vote tomorrow to have you guys voted off the island...let me ask just one thing? Have you ever heard of the Amazons in Greek mythology?
Regardless of a bitter hatred of all things men (oh...c'mon, surely I jest), there's a couple other things these women have in common. They are nice, smart, and funny - but they aren't all "Barbie-doll" perfect.
Let me clue all you guys in...most of you aren't up to Antonio Banderas-par neither. But I have yet to hear any woman say "ya know...if he'd only have liposuction or some type of implant..." - and what would you guys say if we started preaching how much better YOU'D feel if YOU had a little work done?
I'm not speaking out of turn. Look at those magazines and Internet celebrity sites all over the place. They pick on Uma Thurman for being a bit "saggy" or Jennifer Love Hewitt for having a big butt. Geez the woman weighs 100 lbs...it's against the laws of physics for her to be ABLE to have a big butt. But I never see "oh look at Matthew McConaughey...he's going to need a pec lift soon", "Brad sure is in desperate need of electrolysis" or "ya know - in retrospect...Sean Connory DID make an unsexy Bond".
Those tables sure are turned when it comes to women and their bodies...no wonder we aren't content...no wonder we feel like we can never live up to our expectations...we can't live up to anyone's. And that is JUST not fair.
We live in a society which tells our daughters to be happy with the body God gave them...that they aren't overweight, that their chests are just the right size and that they will grow into their noses...then we turn around and nip and tuck and shove implants (or wish we could) in our own bodies - or, worse yet, tell our wives or girlfriends to do it...to achieve something we can never get back: our own youth. No, a BETTER youth..."better" than the one we originally had.
We are such hypocrites.
(Part 3 tomorrow...and yes, that will be the conclusion...I promise.)
