A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".
Showing posts with label North Korea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label North Korea. Show all posts

01 March 2015

March Is Like...Other Things, Too



In America, we have the saying "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb". In other places, it can get a bit...well, different. Here are some others:

Greece: March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a gyro.

Scandinavia: March comes in sometime around April.
Poland: March is like a polka...it's much better when you are just drunk the whole way through it.

North Korea: March...it's what we do best...especially in parades to honour our Dear Leader.

Russia: March is like Kremlin when it comes in and goes out with KGB never to be seen again.

Italy: March comes inna like-a Mario anna goes outta like a faster Mario, wassa matter you no know this, eh? (There are also several hand gestures that go along with it...but since we don't have video...you have to just imagine.)

France: March comes in like a hamster and then comes back to taunt you a second time.

Scotland: March comes in like a sheep...and is lucky to get back out.

New Zealand: March comes in like Peter Jackson filming "Lord of the Rings" and goes out leaving all this shit for us to clean up after him.

Norway: March comes in like that salted licorice and goes out like a herring.

Canada: March comes in and stays in...it's cold here, dammit! We're near the Arctic, ay?

Columbia: March comes in like a drug lord and goes out like a shipment of cocaine.

Ireland: March comes in with green beer and goes out like green pee.

Oprah Winfrey's House: March comes in with Gayle...yet continues to go out with Stedman.