Day 13: Incommunicado

 

 

The tiny East European nation, Slovenkia, has filed a formal protest against the International Olympic Committee (IOC) after allegedly overhearing several Olympic Committee chairpersons stating "They hoped Slovenkia would not win any gold this Olympics because they didn't want to sit through an extended version of their rendition of 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida'."

 

Slovenkian President, Milton Ilochovyk, filed the protest after learning of the distressing news regarding the playing of their 17-minute long national anthem. Ilochovyk stated the two Slovenkian players also overheard three Olympic Committee members saying that "...they wouldn't want to deal with members of the audience walking out partway through the ceremony nor would they expect the other two medalists to remain on their podiums the entire way through it."  Ilochovyk also contended there was "eye rolling" and "laughter" exchanged between the IOC members.

 

"While it is the longest national anthem on record, we would, naturally, play it in its entirety." Olympic Committee spokesperson, Cameron Greer, reported.  "We take the games seriously, and as such, will look into this matter, but we feel this is unwarranted...plus, considering the delegation from Slovenkia has three athletes, we feel this is a matter which will not even be an issue."

 

In an Olympics which has been plagued by controversy, Russia is also steadfastly denying the allegations. "We are, as we speak", a Russian parliament member, who spoke in anonymity, relayed, "scrutinizing the footage captured by the 72 cameras we had installed in the small room where this allegedly took place. We feel certain at least one of them would have captured this considering this allegedly took place in the Men's Room located just off the Grand Ballroom of the [name withheld] Hotel." 

The Republic of Slovenkia recently gained their independence from the Czech Republic in 1995 and this is the first Winter Games in which they are participating.

 

"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is a 17:05 minute song recorded in 1968 by rock group "Iron Butterfly"...the Sovenkian National Anthem, in comparison, clocks in at just shy of 18 minutes and bears no resemblance to the aforementioned tune.




(I just might have to go incommunicado if this one goes viral.  Oh, please, please...let me have one of my silly things go viral.  Maybe not this one...considering I love the Olympics and all...but, something...and in a good way.  Nothing embarrassing or causing injury or death.  Please go to "We Work for Cheese" for today's writing theme, which is "Incommunicado".)