A Bit About Me

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Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADHD. Show all posts

09 February 2013


Tick-tock. Are you watching?

15 minutes.






The time it takes for me to wake up and get out the door if I really need to go somewhere...without putting a face on.

Is 1.042% of a day (according to the Internet as I'm not mathy and I wasn't going to try to calculate).

Songs I knew for a fact that were longer than 15 minutes: Genesis' "Supper's Ready" (23:06), Renaissance's "Song of Scheherazade" (24:39), and Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" (17:05).

Songs that I thought were close to 15 minutes long, but aren't: Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" (8:02), Pink Floyd's "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" (side 1 - 13:38 and side 2 - 12:29)...and anything by REO Speedwagon (All songs by them were way too long as I hate them with a passion...and they seemed to drag on and on and on and on...)

The length of time it seems to take for the average "time out" in basketball to end.

The average time I spend on hold waiting for any company I call.

The time I think it will take me when I run in to buy anything.

The total time I take to run my daughter in to school on days we aren't late - when we manage to get all green lights.

The total time I wait for just the lights to change when I run my daughter in to school on days she is running late.

The amount of time elapsed whereby I refuse to watch any film (I've never seen before) which has already started.

The difference between life and death for a heart attack victim...aka the average point at which resuscitation is stopped.

The length of time Andy Warhol predicted we'd all become famous for -- needless to say you knew I was going to include it...and most celebrities have long exceeded their window of famousity.

The average run time of Charles Chaplin's [uncredited] short films.

Time's up.




In summation, 15 minutes was the time it took me to think of and/or research (Internet-wise) the above statements.




(That last one took a while...and, in retrospect, upon clicking each one maniacally, afterward, it might be closer to 18 minutes average time. For some reason many were 16 minutes long. I guess we might have been more ADHD back then than I initially thought. But, what the hell...I think it proved some dramatic point -- so I left it stay.






Hey, what else takes about 15 minutes? Clicking on the "We Work for Cheese" blog and reading some of those other entries. Well, perhaps you have to be Evelyn Wood-trained...but I can guarantee those minutes will be worth it. (If you haven't deduced by now - today's prompt was "15 Minutes".